計画入院 / planned hospitalization

今日から入院しています。

前にも書いた通り、副鼻腔炎の手術を迷ってましたが、やはりすることにしました。

朝からひとつだけミーティングをし、病院へ。

病院ではあまりやることもなく、こんなこと本当にない。

パソコン開いてメール読んだりして、いつもよりサクサク進むことに感動。

ミーティングない日を作りたい衝動に駆られますね。

とはいえ、だいたいの時間はのんびり。

本を読んだりしてます。

テレビは普段見ないので、久しぶりに平日昼間に見るとおもしろいのがなく、国会中継が一番おもしろいかなと思った私はだいぶ変わった人ですね。

今日やらなきゃなんないのは、夕飯とシャワーだけ。

明日に備えます。

I am in the hospital starting today.

As I mentioned before, I hadn’t decided if having sinusitis surgery but I decided to go through with it.

I had one meeting in the morning and came to the hospital.

There is not much to do at the hospital.

I opened my computer and read my e-mails, and was impressed by how much more quickly I was able to get things done than usual.

I'm tempted to make a day when I don't have meetings.

Most of the time, though, I just relax today.

I read a book or something.

I don't usually watch TV, so I found nothing interesting to watch during the daytime on weekdays for the first time in a long time and Imust not be a normal person because live coverage of a Diet session was the most interesting for me.

It would be better if Diet members debated without manuscript.

All I have to do today is have dinner and take a shower.

I will prepare for tomorrow.

不快なとき / uncomfortable moment

意地悪を前面に出される…という感じの場面がありました。

会社に対する毒が私に代表して吐かれているのはわかるものの、そんなことで全く折れない私だけど、不快な気持ちにはなります。

不快な気持ちは私が自分で理解してあげないとね。ということでおやつを買って食べました。

不快な気分の代わりに、本来の目的が達成できるなら、それはそれでいいんだけど、そこもわからず。

ま、仕方ない。私が悪いわけじゃない。

There was a time when I felt like I was given implying attacks today.

While I understand that the venom against the company was spewed on my behalf, I was not at all broken by such things, but it made me uncomfortable.

I should be the one to understand the discomfort. So I bought a snack and ate it.

If instead of feeling uncomfortable, I will be able to achieve my original goal, that would be fine, but I didn't know that part either.

I am ok because I think It's not my fault.

クラリネットコンサート / a clarinet concert

次男のサークルのクラリネットコンサートに行きました。

先日の次男の骨折の連絡を受けて、実は最初に残念に思ったのはクラリネットが吹けなくなってしまうこと。

このコンサートも出られなくなってしまうと結構悲しく思ってました。

手術で早く治ると言われ、受けたのが功を奏し、出場できました。改めてすごいよね。

とはいえ、もちろん当初に予定していた通りには出られず、限られたアンサンブルと合奏だけではありました。

ただ、私としてはうれしかった。

次男がクラリネットを始めてから、9年経ちました。

それ以来、ほとんど毎年のように、クラリネットや吹奏楽に触れる機会を持ててありがたい。

クラリネットはやっぱりいいな！

I went to a clarinet concert of my second son’s brassband circle.

When I got the text the other day about my second son's broken bone, my first regret was actually that he would not be able to play the clarinet.

I was quite sad that he would not be able to attend this concert either.

We were told that the surgery would help him heal faster and he underwent it and he could play. Once again, it's amazing, isn't it?

However, of course, he was not able to compete as he had originally planned, only in a limited ensemble and large ensembles.

However, I was happy.

It has been nine years since my second son started playing the clarinet.

Since then, almost every year, I am grateful to have the opportunity to listen to clarinet and brass band music.

I still love the clarinet!

一貫性のある子育て / raising children coherently

会社の男性の先輩の息子さんが、中学受験のときに最難関の学校に合格し、通ってます。

すごいな、うちの息子たちは遠く及ばすだと思っていて、その話をしていたとき。

「息子は忖度がうまいんだよ。周りをよく見て長いものに巻かれようとするその能力は高い。家だと奥さんの言うことに上手に従ってるよ。よくわかってるよね、奥さんが一番強いって。」と先輩は言うのです。さらに

「クラリネットで全国1位になる方がすごいよ(我が家の次男)。とてもじゃないけどできないよ。」

とまで言うわけです。

なるほど、そのときに私は気づきました。

そうしないようにしようと気をつけていながら、能力を単一的に見てたし、さらに偏差値に結びつけていたんですよね。

息子たちは揃って忖度がうまいタイプでもない(とはいえ、特別に反抗的でもない)し、中学受験の頃はぶっちぎりで幼かったからね。

私も別に忖度はうまくないし、むしろ反抗的な部類に入るわけだから、息子たちに何を期待してたんだということなわけですよ。

改めて彼らのいいところを伸ばして、生かして、それこそしなやかに生きてもらえるといいなと思いました。

もともとそう思ってないからこそ、3人ともに全く細かいことは言わず、ポイントだけを繰り返し伝えてきたわけで。

もし型にはめたいなら、その育て方もおかしい。

首尾一貫してないのです。

価値観とは無意識の部分が多く、勝手に自分の中で偏るんですね！

The son of a male senior in my company passed the junior high school entrance exam and attends the most difficult school.

I thought, "Wow, my sons are not far behind," and we were talking about it.

I was talking to him about it and he said, "My son is good at sontaku. He has a great ability to look around him and try to follow of stronger persons. At home, he follows his mind that’s lead very well. He knows very well that she is the strongest." He says. Furthermore

“It's more amazing to win first place in Japan in clarinet (my second son). Most of us can't do it.”

I realized my mistake.

I have tried to be careful not to do so but I looked at abilities singly and even more I was tying them to deviation values.

My sons are not the type of people who are good at sontaku (although they are not particularly rebelliou) and they hadn’t greon up enough when they took the junior high school entrance exam.

I am not good at sobtaku and I am more in the rebellious category so what did I expect from my sons?

Once again, I hoped that they would develop their good points, make the most of them, and live a flexible life.

Because I originally thought so, I did not give any details at all to all three of them but only reiterated the main points to them.

If I want to fit them into the standard style then there was something wrong with the way I brought them up.

It was not coherent.

So much of what I value is unconscious, and it biases itself on its own!

三男のプレゼン / speech of my youngest son

先日、三男の学校の文化祭がオンラインでありました。

Personal projectの発表を1人5分でするということで、見ました。

本人いわく、内容が薄いとのことでしたが、確かに内容は薄い！

でもプレゼンの資料やプレゼンはそれっぽくできてました。

英語で、原稿もなしで上手に話せてすごいな。

何年も英語で勉強しているんだから当たり前ですが、ほっとしました。

仕事の合間に見れてよかった。

Yesterday there was a cultural festival at my third son's school online.

Each student had 5 minutes to present his or her personal project, so I watched it.

According to my son, the content of his presentation was thin, and indeed it was!

But the presentation materials and presentation were done like that.

It's amazing that he could speak so well in English and without a manuscript.

He has been studying in English for years, so it's no surprise, but it was a relief for me.

I'm glad I got to see it in between work.

慌ただしい週 / a hectic week

先週書いた確定申告の間違いは、先ほどe-taxでデータ送信完了。

あとは書類を送って終わりなはず。

認められれば返ってくる！

今週は、特に慌ただしく、忙しく、毎日夜は気絶のように寝入りました。

プレイングリーダーだから現場というかお客様にもどんどん行くし、チームのリーダーたちに給与の話もするし、新しい外販プログラムの準備で資料を全部見るし、特にこの1週間は慌ただしかった。

今日もまだ眠い。

眠いと頭があまり働かないだろうし、ネガティブにもなるから、とにかく休まないとです。

About the tax return error I wrote about last week, the corrected data has just transmitted via e-tax.

Now all I have to do is send the documents and I should be done.

If it's accepted, money will return to me.

This week has been particularly hectic and busy and I have gone to bed each night as if I had fainted.

I'm a playing leader, so I'm going to the field, or rather to customers, more and more, I have to talk to team leaders about their salaries, I have to look at all the materials in preparation for the new outside education program, and the week has been especially hectic.

I'm still sleepy today.

If I'm sleepy, my brain probably don’t work very well and I tend to be negative, so I need to rest anyway.

確定申告 / my tax return

確定申告をしてます。

やりながら気づいた昨年の間違い。

かなり税金を払いすぎたようです。

昨年税金が多くて非常に苦しいと思っていたけど間違ってたんですね。苦笑

修正もして返してもらおう。

そして今日中に終わらせよう。

今年は確定申告の期限頃、入院するので、珍しくギリギリじゃない対応を。

I'm filing my tax return.

As I was doing it, I realized that I made a mistake last year.

It seems that I paid too much tax.

I thought I was in a lot of pain last year because I paid so much tax but I was wrong.

I'll get it corrected and pay it back.

And let's get them done today.

This year, I'm going to be hospitalized around the time my tax return is due, so I'm going to take a rare non-last-minute action.

黒牢城 / a black jail in the castle

黒牢城 https://www.amazon.jp/dp/4041113938?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

直木賞受賞作ということで読みました。

戦国時代とミステリーを両立させた小説。

読み応えばっちりです。

織田信長に謀反を起こした荒木村重が黒田官兵衛を殺さずに牢に入れる。

城でな不可解な事件がいくつも起こり、村重は官兵衛に相談にいく。

官兵衛のヒントをもとに解決していく。

しかしながら戦は進まない。

城の者たちが謀叛を起こそうとしているのか、心が離れているのかと疑心暗鬼になる村重。

戦国時代の武士は武道や戦術に長けた者が上がっていく。

強さで治めた者は勝たないと威厳を保てないということがよくわかる本。

これは現代のビジネスでも同じようなことさあるなぁと思いました。

I read this book because it won the Naoki Prize this year.

It is a novel that combines both the Warring States period and a mystery.

It is well worth reading.

Araki Murashige, who rebelled against Oda Nobunaga, put Kuroda Kanbei in prison without killing him.

A number of inexplicable incidents occurred  at the castle and Murashige went to Kanbei for advice.

Based on Kanbei's hints, he solved the problems.

However, the war did not progress.

Murashige wondered if the people in the castle were trying to rebel, or if they were out of his minds.

In the Warring States period, warriors who were skilled in martial arts and tactics rose to the top.

This book is a good example of how those who ruled by strength had to win to maintain their dignity.

I thought that this is the same thing in modern business.

長男次男の誕生日 / the birthday of my twin sons

今日は長男次男の誕生日。21歳になりました。

生まれたときのことは今でも覚えてます。

私が生まれてきたのはこの子たちを産むためだったんだなと思ったこと。

そんなことはこれまでの人生であのときだけ。

でも子育ては本当に大変で、最初は「双子は3歳になれば楽になる」と聞いても、永遠にそんな日は来ない気がして絶望したものだ。

なつかしいな。

先日、仕事で一喝した話を書きましたが、私がこんなに鮮やかに一喝できるようになったのは、男子3人を育てたからだよなと思う。

大変だったけど、的確に一喝するのは相当うまくなったはず。(本来いらない能力だけど)

息子たちに感謝。

理由は

・優しい声だと全く聞いていない。もしくは聞いていても、何かを注意されてることに気づかない

・最初に名前を呼ぶなりなんなり、注意をひきつけないと自分が言われてると思わない(兄弟が多いから)

・小難しいことを言っても吸収できない、しない

・たくさんのことを言っても吸収できない、しない

・常に母(私)が怒ってくれるだろうと思って「今本気で聞かなくてもいいか」となる

ですかね。

かつて「3人を育てているとはあなたのマネジメント能力は高いこと間違いない」と言ったドイツ人のお客様や、「男子を育てる女性は仕事で活躍する」と言ったアメリカ人上司や、先日「男子3人を育てたから交渉上手なのよ」と言ったインド人同僚がいたけど、たしかに彼らを育てたことは私の大きな一部になっていることは間違いない。

もし彼らを育ててなかったらどうだったかというのは全く想像できないのだけどね。

Today is the birthday of my first and second sons.

I still remember the day they were born.

It was the only time in my life when I thought that I was born for the purpose of giving birth to them.

But raising them was really hard and even though I heard at first that "twins get easier when they are three years old," I despaired because I felt like that day would never come.

I miss those days.

The other day I wrote about how I thubderedat work and I think the reason I became able to thunder so vividly is because I raised my three sons.

It was hard work but I must have gotten pretty good at thundering them accurately. (It's a skill that we don't need.)

I am grateful for my sons.

The reasons are;

- if I use a gentle voice, they don't hear me at all. If I use a gentle voice, they don't listen at all, or even if they do, they don't realize that they are being warned about something.

- if I don't get their attention first by calling their name or something, they don't think I am talking to them (because they have many siblings).

- they can’t or won't absorb difficult things that are said to them.

- they can't or won't absorb even if I say a lot of things to them.

- they always think that their mother (me) will be angry with them, so they think that they don't have to listen to me right now.

I guess.

There was once a German customer who said that I must have good management skills if I am raising three boys, an American boss who said that women who raise boys like me are more successful at work, and an Indian colleague who said the other day that I am a good negotiator because I raised three boys. Raising them has definitely been a big part of who I am.

I can't imagine what I would have done if I hadn't raised them, though.

一喝と化粧品 / thunder and cosmetics

日曜日の夜だけど、相談ミーティングがセットされていたのです。

ここ何週間も何回も夜ミーティングしている案件。

最初からやれる手を全て明かして、ずっと同じメッセージをしているのに、毎回「もっとなんとかできないか」と言ってくる。

正直がっかりです。もちろんつきあいますが。

今日はさすがにこんなに何回も言っても伝わらないならとかなり強い調子で一喝。

一喝なんてしたかないが、社内でも最大限のサポートをとやってくれている人たちがいるので、ちゃんと仕切らないともう二度とないわけですから。

今日昼間は化粧品を買いに行きました。

お金の使い方として、基礎化粧品には結構使ってるなと改めて思いました。

肌があまり強くないこと、どうしても仕事で肌に負担をかけることから、必要経費なんです。

ブランドものを買うなら、基礎化粧品。

肌は戻らないから。

でも、ヒアルロン酸とかボトックスとかそういうのは全くやってないのです。

今日、買い物に行ったときも、ほぼすっぴんで軽くアイシャドウをつけていきました。

マスクがあるから、アイシャドウだけでもしていけばすっぴんに見えない最低限かなと思った次第です。

お店の方はアイシャドウをほめてくれましたが、そこしかないよね、たしかに。笑

今日買ったクリームで肌の調子をさらに整えないとな。

It was a Sunday night but there was a consultation meeting set up.

This is a case where we have had many evening meetings over the past weeks.

We have revealed all the options we can make from the beginning and I've been giving the same message all along but every time the team asks me if we can do something more.

To be honest, I'm disappointed. Of course I go along with it.

Today, I thundered them in a very strong tone because they seemed to request with unlimited.

I don't want to thunder them but there are people in the company who are doing their best to support us and if I didn't get it right, it will never happen again.

This afternoon I went shopping for cosmetics.

I was reminded that I spend a lot of money on basic cosmetics.

It's a necessary expense for me because my skin is not very strong and my work inevitably puts a strain on it.

If I am going to buy a brand name product, buy a basic skin care product.

Because I can't get my skin back.

But I haven’t done hyaluronic acid or Botox or anything like that at all.

When I went shopping today, I wore almost no makeup at all, just a light eyeshadow.

Since I have eyebrows, long eyelashes, and a mask, I thought it would be a good idea to wear eyeshadow at least, so I wouldn't look like I was wearing nothing at all.

The staff at the store complimented me on my eyeshadow and she was right because that's the only thing I could think of.

I'll have to use the cream I bought today to tone up my skin even more.