This is one of my favorite jokes, and I just had to share it as I had recently stumbled by it again.
Okay, so there are three vampires who are having a competition to prove which one of them is the most vicious vampire.
The strongest vampire started first. "Watch this," he said as he flew hastily reaching 100 mph. Just after 10 minutes, he returns with blood all over his mouth.
"What happened?" the other two asked.
The strongest vampire replied, "Did you see that house on the hill?"
"Yes"
"Well...I killed the entire family and sucked their blood dry!"
"Incredible! Just as expected from the strongest vampire."
Then, the eldest vampire took the next turn saying, "Watch and learn," and flew even faster clocking at 120 mph. After only 5 minutes, he comes back with blood all over his mouth and neck.
"What happened?" asked the other two.
"Did you see that village by the river?"
"Yes"
"Well, I killed every single person in that village and sucked their blood dry."
"Amazing. Unbelievable. We can expect no less from the eldest vampire!"
Finally, the fastest vampire took the last turn saying, "Don't blink or you'll miss this!" and flew in a blink of an eye at 140 mph. After only merely 30 seconds, he comes back with blood all over his mouth, neck and nose.
"What happened?" asked the awaiting two.
"Did you see that big ass tree over there?"
"Yes"
"Well I didn't."
This is a fucking brilliant joke okay?
久しぶりに面白いアメリカンジョークを見つけたので書こうかと。
あるところに三人の吸血鬼達が三人の中で誰が一番優秀な吸血鬼かを競おうと集いました。
まず最初に最も力持ちの吸血鬼が「見てろよ」と言い捨て、時速160kmで飛んで行きました。
10分後、彼は口元が血まみれの状態で戻ってきました。
「何があったんだ？」
「あの丘の上の家、見えたか？」
「ああ、見えた」
「あの家の住民を殺し、血を飲み干した！」
「なんと！流石は最も力持ちの吸血鬼。恐れ多い。」
それに対し次は最も長生きしている吸血鬼が「まだまだだね」と吐き捨て、時速190キロで飛んで行きました。
5分後、彼は口元と喉元が血まみれの状態で戻ってきました。
「何があったんだ？」
「あの川辺付近の村、見えたか？」
「ああ、見えた」
「あの村の人間共を一人残らず殺し、血を飲み干した！」
「なんと！流石は最も長生きしている吸血鬼！経験の差はこんなにも凄いとは...！」
それに対し最後に最速の吸血鬼が「瞬きするなよ、見逃すぜ」と言い、時速220キロで飛んで行きました。
すると、ものの30秒後、彼は口元、喉元、そして鼻周りが血まみれの状態で戻ってきました。
「何があったんだ？」
「あそこの大きな木、見えたか？」
「ああ、見えた」
「俺は見えなかったんだよね...」
笑えよ。