too tired to think

The schools started today. It's my last year primary school, so I'm little afraid. There are good things too - we got home very early today. It was nice to see others continue the schoolday while we went home.

After school I came home, packed my things again and then left to Steiner school. Our choir gathers there with acting group and the band. The practice went well - I'm going to be a storyteller with Milka (・ω・)/

Still everything is not alright. The problem is my mum.

She complains about everything now. She got angry with my big bro, who didn't want to take some furnitures from our house even if mum had payed him. She was really angry and nearly cried. Today she got angry with me and two of my brothers and said, that she will be traveling away. I know that she's not going to go.

She's going even worst every moment. I've done my best to please her, but it isn't enough. I don't want to be at home anymore. She thinks that I should do sports more, but still she complains when I'm going to see my friends by bike or something like that! Lately I've walked in the forest with our dog. There's a big stone and I like to sit on it... though I yesterday I jumped down and my leg is still hurting.

So, I want to move away

I got my hair cut - it's better now. And I'm so tired that I'm going to sleep right here. Tomorrow I have seven hours at school... Luckily we have maths and German.

- ilona -

the school is about to start

Yup, school starts on Wednesday. I'm worried if it goes well... I'll do my best

The news about Ayabie shocked me. My hands shook so much I couldn't move them properly. Now I'm quite relaxed and I accept the new. It just hurts to think about it... I thought that they would maybe do a world tour again. It won't happen.

I know that I'm not the only one who is sad. I hope that the members remember to eat well and sleep well. They have to stay in good condition.

Today I finally found the shirt for my Shou cosplay! It's great, just what I need. It's a little bit too small... I have to eat lighter! Though I'm always hungry. I ate pizza with Noora today and yesterday. She stayed over night in our house.

The confirmation was yesterday. I nearly cried at the church, I'll miss the people so much. Everything went well, even the party went well... most of the time I spoke with my mum's cousin's husband. He's a really nice person, he's a friend of my history teacher. They are both a little bit strange but fun. I always laugh (*^-^)b

... I'm in a need of hug. In the church everyone hugged me so tightly. Oh, I nearly forgot - one of my friends fell in love recently! I'm really happy for her sake, I hope that she will be able to tell her feelings and the dream boy will love her too. The would be the most cute couple in the world... yup, I sound like a matchmaker. But I want to see their wedding. It would be so great

And because of that I feel myself even more lonely ヾ(＠°▽°＠)ﾉ

Tomorrow I'll go to town with mum - I'll buy more clothes, maybe some books too. I got presents yesterday, and there's a voucher to two bookshops. The other is 20e and the other is 60e... I have to read much. I got money too, I plan about ordering a CD or two. One album from All time low would be great.

I should buy some sheet music too. I'm running out of it. Today I visited a music shop, and there was a really good book... must buy it tomorrow.

I'll write again after the school has started! (・ω・)/

- ilona -

more coffee, please

I'm totally hooked into coffee. I get headache if I don't drink it in the morning, so... (ﾉ´▽｀)ﾉ

My hair is dark brown at the moment. Dark colors suit me better than the light ones. But this is going to fade out quickly, so I need to dye it again soon.

At 10 o'clock I should be at church. We have some exercise for tomorrow and things like that - I must practice my piano playing with Jaakko the guitarman. I'm excited, I can't play it well just now. I don't know how to play the song - the chords, or the melody? I hope that everything will be clear this evening.

I've written my fic so much that my hands hurt. I drew also, but I suck at drawing so... we don't talk about that.

Our confirmation party is tomorrow. I hope everything goes well - my dress is so small that I can barely breathe! My friends are coming to see me at 15:30, so I must be representative.

I hope that someone will give me money tomorrow - I'm planning to go to Tampere for some shopping. I want to buy shoes... the Spirit Store sells so beautiful ones (｡・ε・｡)

I'm hooked into Korean music too. Super junior's Bonamana is playing right now... after that was B2ST/BEAST's Take care of my girlfriend. Of course the Japanese music is still close to my heart, I could listen to Alice nine forever.

Btw, Maamiina means a landmine. Don't ask why it is our nickname... it's a long story.

- ilona -