Overwhelming?

As I read my previous entry, I realised something. I need to question what is and how overwhelming my tasks are.

Without analysing and dissecting the subject, I will never fully understand the mechanism. Accordingly, the soloution I would provide would be shallow and a one-off, lucky one.

It is strange that my brain (or heart?) sometimes discourage me from grasping what I am facing. Maybe it is because of the fear of not being able to deal with it if I know what I am handling. Uncertainty could at least bring strange comfort.

Strange comfort - although I will not know if I can do it, I wll at the same time will not know if I cannot do it. Hence strange comfort can be strange hope, hope without conviction.

In reality, hope without conviction is not hope itself.

With keeping motivation and keeping myself happy with myself, I can proceed.

What I learnt through my most recent report making was valuable. I need to first set the skeleton. Without it, it will only be muddling through the chaos without an oar. Things in the world can lead to infinite thoughts. Life is too short to get stuck in each of them.

And I do have objectives and wishes in my life. I need my hands, arms, oars, and motors, whatever would accelerate my journey. Oops, yes, here I also need to choose the style of my journey whether oars are optimal or motor boats are better.... Choices, choices...

I will first start from writing my diary.

To make squeezed juice, not the concentrated one

There seems to be overwhelming tasks and things to do for me. Why the heck is it the way it is?

But all I could do is to sort the objectives and make them look clearer and systemised.

Anybody can basically do one thing at a time - lucky times those one things are overlapping with each other, making things flow smoothly and quickly. The tip is to make this flow by systemising things.

I do not need to get buried under tasks but I can flow on tasks and remember things I want to do.

I am going to do this. For a start, when I make breakfast, I will not only think of breakfast but also lunch and dinner, leading onto my whole diet and cooking. This way, I will be looking at both trees and forest, that is, the bigger picture.

評価

前の記事「気づき」を書いた後、思った。

海外に生活していて、その国の言葉を使わなければならないノンネイティブのことを、現地の非国際人がどれほどの努力をしているか気づかず、半人前だと思うのも、２Dの見方だと思う。

ノンネイティブは努力してネイティブに近づくけど、完全にはネイティブにはなれない。これは、ネイティブが湖で浮き輪に乗って浮いているのと、ノンネイティブはアヒルのように必死に水面下で足をばたばたさせているからこそ浮いている違いにも似ている。

表面上は同じ「浮いてる」でも、内実は異なってる。

ノンネイティブは天才で初めて、言語以外の価値で、ネイティブを上回れるのではないか。言葉では競争できないのだろうか。問題は、言葉の正確さという面で競争するのではなく、何をどう言うかということもある。

ただ、言葉は記号的な側面もあるから、記号の使い方を間違えていれば、メッセージが汲み取りにくくなるのは確かだ。

言語っていうのは、世界に占めるウエイトが思った以上に大きい。もちろん、言葉にできるだけ頼らない数学って言う方法もあると思うけど、私はまだそれ以外の解決法も考えてる。