I cannot focus, at all. I thought it was a one time occurence last year before exams but for some reason it has happened again and at this point I think there is more of a trend that I'd like to admit.
How do bees work? Do bees make fwbs with half-assed effort in half-assed relationships? Bees do not. Bees are fluffy lil shits that make honey and maintain earth's traumatised ecosystem. Let's give it up for the bees. Love is in the air, dickhead.
I think there are two kinds of fucked in this world. The sexual and the non sexual. I am unfortunately drier than the sahara desert. Who knows the side effect of bc pills could literally counter the very reason they exist, or rather one of the very reason they exist. It is day 15 of the nonstop bloodbath, god has better plans for me I reckon.
And so I presented upon myself the wonderful shitshow called bumble. Seriously at this point just cut me some slack I know I'm probably not the most loveable person on this earth but how bad can it be to be rejected 5 times in a row? Am I just shoving my head up the wrong asses in the wrong places? Maybe. At least a dating app is already built on the foundation that they are interested, in any way but the friendship way. I'm not trying to discredit friendships in any sense (cue the power of friendship) but there has been way too many failed instances of not having anyone see me beyond a friend it is starting to frustrate my last half of a braincell.
It is sad, nonethelss, to be swiping on people like they are some kind of commodity. I will not ignore the fact that most first impressions is dependant on looks, I guess that's just human nature. But at the same time I think that is the easy part, probably the only easy part presenting as a female is that you do get matches. Whatever happens after that is the true hell. How much do I text that person? Which is the photo closest to how they are now? When do I initiate a meetup? Are they lying? Am I lying? Why are they not replying? Why do I not feel like replying? What happens after we meet up? How long is this going to go on for? Do they just want to hookup? Do I actually want to be in a relationship? What is life? Am I going to die?
bees. I don't sting, because if I do I myself face to consequence of death. I prefer to be alive and well.