because either life is being shitty to you or youre being shitty to yourself.
To which I call bullshit on the first because, life, life is great! Life is like a whole shitpile but your realise you were born a dung beetle.
Dung beetles may appreciate modern standards of what we call living, or maybe the because the only substance it abuses is seen as shit (literally) the woes of contemparory art and bullshitting papers prove to be less antagonising a prospect as expected.
Happy 22! nyanyan. Catcat, bitty boppy weewoos because life has been great! And you suffer from cuts on your wrists much less than the average angsty teen. (is 22 even considered a teen? no.)
I got nice flowers and a nice izakaya date on my birthday and lots of cuddles. Toodles to me on the best day of my life where people decide I should be celebrated. A lovely belated birthday it was. The man told me we should go shopping at an outlet at the shores of torihama and sure thing we did, and neither of us bought anything and we shared an ice cream by the sea. It was a beautiful day. I kept asking him if he took a dump because he spent a little longer in that outlet toilet than usual to which he gave me that "oh shut up" look (so yes he did)
And I never really came down with as bad as a problem as the previous birthdays where I contemplate existence, because it this year it was all handholding and cuddles. Cuddles and more cuddles. I love you my man.
But shit comes to haunt you! because in the previous life you were not a dung beetle. You were clean freak who hated dirty toilets and smelly stuff, that one thing life refused to stop throwing you at. And you forget how it is to live a good life with good people and a good, peaceful life where your brain shuts up for once.
Today is a Thursday!!! Which means I do a little more school than usual and suffer a little more in lectures than usual. Today is also a day where I realised the older you grow the less you can pull on your mom's shirt and go "send help" and you actually have to rawdog through life. But also a day of gratitude because your skin has grown a lot thicker and things are a lot scarier, that is if you didn't cram your next week with endless band practices and odd scheduling (god bless)
I look at my calender in November and go wow!! I will tank because there is nothing. I look at my calender in October and go wow!! I will tank because there is anything and everything crammed into 5 days. So I tell myself to not think. It works ! It works so well until you remember the last time you tried this your memory went to shit and you got into substance abuse (alcohol) so it really is a trade off, you see.
Either you forget, or you suffer and remember. So hobson's choice much.
I'd love to remember this year. I'd love to remember all the shit and dung beetle comparisons I made because life is good and I just am a shitty pile of ass and can't hope. Problem's on me man.
But still,
happy birthday sweet child, you deserve everything.