I'm so angry and frustrated with my boyfriend right now because this is literally the umteenth fucking time that's he's slept in until 2-3 PM and hasn't responded to my texts until after then. I know it's because of his insomnia, which I know isn't his fault and can be frustrating, but what gets me is that he's not taking his meds but is expecting me to take mine. Why in the world does he think that this is fucking fair?? Why does he think that it's okay to have expectations for me that he won't meet himself? This isn't the first or last time I'll be confronting him about this.
I am resentful and stressed about my own busy and stressful schedule and the fact that he doesn't have as much on his plate, which doesn't help things and I'm sure it's contributing, but it's starting to eat at me and eat at me and EAT at me. I can't sit there and be okay with him sleeping in until bumfuck in the evening and not making an effort of taking his fucking insomnia medication. If me not taking my meds is a dealbreaker for him, why can't it be for me?
I'm so angry and upset that this keeps happening and the fact that he doesn't think that this is a problem, but it is now because it's emotionally affecting me. I feel neglected and lonely sometimes because it's like I don't get a boyfriend until the evening and sometimes I want a boyfriend in the morning. Or at the very least maybe he works on waking up by 1 and makes SOME kind of effort to turn it around, but it doesn't seem like it's happening.
I am so sick of this bullcrap and I don't want to break up with him, but things need to start changing soon or I'm going to start building an unhealthy amount of resentment which will not help our relationship stay healthy. Is it too much to ask for him to take his fucking medication like an adult and at least try to turn this around?
Maybe he's not thinking anything of it because I don't think I've spelt it out harshly, but it may be time to do so from here on out. I know it's on me for holding my feelings in and not speaking up sooner, but I have in the past gently and he tells me to stop getting on his ass about it, which is understandable until he doesn't take it seriously.
I make an effort to work on my skin picking problem, which is also a mental illness, because it hurts him to see me harm himself, but does he not genuinely understand that it goes both ways? Like yes, my problem is also uncontrollable sometimes, but I'm making an effort to get professional help and stay consistent on my meds so it can help our relationship. But does he on his end?? Obviously it's a NO and it's starting to go from a mild thing to pissing me off.
I don't want this to become our future and I don't want to deal with this right now when I have so many other things going on.
UPDATE: He and I talked on the phone about my feelings, and he was kind and receptive to my concerns and thoughts about the situation. He didn't think I was bringing it up directly enough and perceived our previous conversations as me nagging him, which is fair to be annoyed with, and the problem came down to him both forgetting to take his sleep meds because he didn't feel tired and not taking them at 5 am because he didn't want to sleep all day.
Hopefully he genuinely thinks about what I said and begins to sort out a system for himself to address his insomnia because I am getting at the end of my rope with dealing with it. My worries are off my chest though thankfully, and I feel lighter and better about our relationship.
