Hello there!

I'm still feelin' horrible, my head is killin' me and i've cried all day! all the fuckin' day -.-!

i cant believe this, i need him, i completely need him with me (-з-)

i hope he realize that someday D: and maybe es really stupid to say that i feel like he needs me too, bcuz probably he doesn't...

Oh God, i dont wanna feel like we're done, i don't wanna feel like it'll never be the same...

i miss our talks we had until 6 in the mornin' with the webcam, seein' him sleepin', makin' me smile and embarrassed...

i feel like all of those things are sooo far away from my present now... i dont wanna have a present without him -.-!

i feel pathetic! it souldn't be like this, right? maybe he doesn't deserve me... maybe i need someone better. But for me he's the best thing that happened to me this year... i dont wanna have this kind of christmas, like i wanna cry all the time, thinkin' about him...

MY FUCKIN' HEAD IS KILLIN' ME! i miss him soo!

i'll start to cry again D: omg -.-!! this is horrible xdd

Anyway, i dyed my hair! now is violet! i feel in power xd!

and i cut it too :3 i feel pretty xd is like, girly and cool at the same time (?) xd!

Have a nice day!

Waste of TIME!

Ok,i'm so sorry again D: u should know me already xd

I feel... like a piece of shit xd! i mean, i'm soo freakin' sad, God D:.... i feel like i wasted time lovin' him, and i cant express myself! this is AWFULL! i hate this! i hate lovin' him! i hate trustin' him! i hate bcuz it wont be the same!

I HATE THIS BCUZ HE LOVES ME TOO! just in the way I DO, but we cant be together, so i cant help with this pain xd i leave me cry ONLY ONCE, but then i realized that i couldn't stop....(TωT)

i really can't express myself right now (-з-)i just, i wish i could disappear for a LOOONG time D:

i will post something else later... i'm not in the mood right now xd

probably i'll show u my new hairstyle :B!

Ettoo'...

I'm sooo sorry ;_;! since a looong freakin' time i dont write here D: my gosh, too much xd

i'm really sorry, but i had no time and.. simply i forgot (￣＾￣)

Well, well... a lot of things happened in this time xdd good ones and bad ones (-^□^-)

First of all, my dearest, cutest men had a other girl! yes! my love love have TWO lil girls! Lovelie Miyavi Ishihara aaaaand.... Jewelie Aoi Ishihara i'm so happy for him xd and really proud. I know that Lovelie will be an excellent big sis and will take care of Jewelie (:!

What else? oh yeah! did a told u guys that i'm in Love with someone that i shouldnt xd!? in fact, i dont know if this is something that i should write here but this is suppose to be my diary (?) Anyway! i love someone that i shouldnt love but, so what? I love mooore to my cutie Miyavi and things (?) xD!

Oh oh! and the school is finally over.. for ever! yey! the school is over for me (-^□^-) now i have to do a good exam on December and think about what i'll do with my life next year xd that's an important thing if i really want to make my dream come true! I'm absolutely sure that i'll travel to Japan someday, and i'll live there for a long time xD!

And i'll meet Yukito Nishii i love that lil boy xd he's just a lil boy! he has the same age as my lil brother xD! so crazy dude, but he's soo cute and adorable!

I dont know what else O: i'll write more, i promise! xdd but this time is real bcuz i have time! no school for me yey! xD o(^▽^)o

Take care!

oh! and in the next entry i'll post some pictures! i havent's change but i'll do it anyway xD! bcuz is bored just with text and blablabla xdd