the universe' buisiness

one, two, three,four

is this real

walking towords something powerful

comming back towards someting deniable,

some carry smiles in their pocket, some carry sour hearts in their baggage, some seem to walk lightly as if they pretend to have nothing to put in their cuscket.

while thinking themselves to be the one,
purpose kept pullying them towards its plan.

that one over there seems to be having fun. let me make him face the hardcore burning sun.

that one, he is going through a major disaster, he deserve to gain enough strength to be a monster.

listening to its thoughts, noticed my
own soul fighting back against those ghosts.

noticing my rebellious spirit, it pulled me towards it holy city.
finding my own self looking at the car window thinking how i can make my own self look more good, i do not realize even my unconsciousness questioned me who i was with a brain made from a piece of wood.

i thought i forgot something, wondered only for a moment, needless to say the Purpose continued doing his job without any comments.

the unbreakable spell(解けない呪文)

i am cursed

i close my eyes and i hear those voices

every time i close my eyes i see those visions

even my brain tends to not listen to my decisions.

i hear those words, words that are thrown from ones mouth straight to my heart through my chest.

words that are similar to cockroaches that find place to live,

to lay eggs and grow while they rest.


like spiders settling down on huge nests relaxing without no danger to get harmed.

i close my eyes feel a bite from each filthy ugly monsters to my heart.
they are biting me, they are bitting me as if they want to concur my body and soul.
it continues today,every day maybe the suffer and pain would never get better at all.
what a crucial torture i ever experienced in my life for sure.

struggling to pretend nothing is happening till the day i die like all.

14　years, 14　years they never go away,

they keep increasing like pennies in a piggy bank each on every day.

the only way to reduce this pain is to give them back to those who started this game.

sitting on a chair today, thinking how to hurt others and make them go insane in order to regain my pain.

sight

it dosent seem real that 1 in the midnight, i see couples holding hands together, workes,every where i go.



i see people standing tall,walking towards their home as if that is the only encouragement of their living.




i see tired people in the train, faces with sore hearts.



From the angle of the reflection from a traindoor,


i see my self standing in the middle of a place i have never experienced before,

with a smile on his face,


looking at those tired people as if he belives that his smile is contagious,


i see myself strugglingg to put a smile on my own face wondering when i would be able to get out of this place.