Hm...
It has been a while. I'd be lying if I said nothing much happened in the time between this post, and the last one. There was one day in particular that I can remember, where I experienced a pain so deep that I thought I would never recover. I might be dramatic, but at that time it was that serious to me...
On that day, I remember feigning such a happiness for certain people that it began to hurt so much, and at the end of the day I was a wreck. When I got home, I went straight to my bed and I felt like something was tearing me apart, until the point where I wanted to scream, not caring who heard... and then I felt some kind of bitter happiness...
And from that bitter happiness, the present me was born. I may have lost some things, and gained others, but as long as I made it past that day and never felt that again I was ok.
And now I am at a point, where I wish that I could erase certain things from my life, no matter how much they mean... these things being a person. Sometimes, I wish I never met them. What if I had not been there at all on that first step of knowing? Not answered that first invitation to talk? What would I have been like now?
I don't know, but maybe it would have made life easier right now.