No, Lord, I will not give it up
I am going to get into the promised land
You have to take me there
我就係想有奇蹟
但我唔想依靠奇蹟生存
所以我決定再次回去
我要權力
我要金錢
我要知識
我要智慧
我要良好快活的人際關係
因為再唔會有奇蹟出現
事實奇蹟已經唔會發生
あなた全部のもの、全部もう失った。
はい、すべてのものもです。
私はここで静かに見ます。
あなたの人生の失敗を期待している。悪！
何でうそをつくるの、あなた、悪。
恥へ。
For you are glorious and worthy to be praised
You're the lamb upon the throne
And un to you we lift our voice in praise
You're the lamp upon the throne...
如果我可以求一樣東西
我求主：與我恆久同在，好使我可以 Free From Bondages, no matter what. Yes no matter what.
So that I can live with God, not just by words, but really live with God every second.
I really want to see you and I really want to meet you
Not because of proving your existence
Not because of showing the miracles
Not because of asking you about my future and my worries
Just because, I really really really want to, literally, abide and unite with you
I want to cry with you in hug. I really want to cry with you. I want to lean on your shoulders
Yes, I want to lean on your shoulders... I need your shoulders
You don't have to say anything, say nothing...
I just want to hug you and cry in your arms.... with you... that is.
That is what I really want
And I pray that one day I will write another entry,
I want to see you and meet you again
At that time, I want to hug with you and laugh with you together...
Can I have your shoulders to lean on tonight, my Lord, the lamb upon the throne...
我想見約書亞
我要見約書亞
我要問下佢當日打仗時
面對強大無可抵擋的敵人時係點樣家
因為我都係響同一個情況當中
但係我聽唔懂神講咩
我係真係聽唔到亦見唔到
又係唔係我錯呀
又係唔係我唔掂呀
你估我可唔可以一個星期唔同你講野呢？
我已經再唔知可以同你講咩啦
次次同你講親都咁唔開心
無一次可以同你講開心野啦
無．．．再無一樣
我失望
我好想回頭
亦好想講．．．
如果係咁我想跟番呢一個世界而行
因為我唔想咁苦落去
可能我將我個心跟番世界而行
我屋企人都可以過得好一點
我會．．．
今日去左調景嶺拜年
等人的時候,我看見有人在遠處玩遙控飛機
真係好自由自在......
今日二零零六年一月三十日
我決定而且我內心都容我放下
因為我已經再沒有辦法
亦因為我唔想因為自己的盲目而失去美好的一切
除非,除非這是神要我咁樣行,迫我咁樣行
我唔想再咁感情用事,我想做人理性一點
理性地生存下去,因為以感情為行事的動力的話,失敗居多,成功居少
唔好意思, 生命並不是一件感性的事情,信耶穌都唔係.
流淚歡笑並不是出於感性的流露,而是理性的結果
基督徒的生命更不是出於感性而行,
因為我們就應該是一批不以肉體而行的新人
我們本應離開肉體,以靈性而行,而從聖靈所出的是理性的
遠古至今,亞伯拉罕的獻祭,大衛的成功,所羅門的智慧,
何西亞的行事都是從理性而出.
行事上可能被感到是出於感性,因為看似極為偉大,而的確是十分偉大.
但行事的原委是出於理性,即是出於聖靈的智慧與教導
神呀,我唔再自己擔啦
我唔再自己擔根本唔係我可以亦係你無叫我擔的東西
我還是留下給你
你叫我擔就會叫我擔
好像叫我擔下日本這個地方一樣
但我內心安寧因為我知根本不由得我
只由得你,而我亦邊行邊與你去
我現在還是做好我自己的算了
1. 工作
2. 知識語言的基石
3. 學校
4. 教會
5. 人際的發展
係喎,今日我只係去左拜年
但係響美國那邊的Pastor Benny 已經做了很多事情
現在 ： 專注力．集中力
若果神真的讓我去，我現在有什麼是可以預備的呢？
"Give me the wisdom to distinguish what I can change and what I cannot."
１．與神同在
２．語言マースタ ＋ 環球知識 ＋了解日本的文化，思想模式與社會狀況
３．工作能力
４．經濟獨立能力
５．獨立生活的能力（Finance, Health, House, Job, Hobbies, Friends, Church, Food）
６．與香港的家庭與朋友有穩固關係
７．學會友誼建立的要素
８．聖經的知識
９．解決問題的能力 (Mindset)
１０．心理挑戰的預備 (Mindset)
１１．未來的伴侶與家庭
１２．在主，在自己，在家庭，在朋友，在教會，在公司，在宣教上成Woman of God
My vision has been changed
Before, I could see God is a Judge
Now, I can see He is love
Before, I could see God is able
Now I can see He is willing
Before, I saw him a miserable God
Now I can see He is sitting on the throne
Before, I thought I should be miserable too
But now, I know that I am a daughter of Christ and now I live in the Kingdom of God.
But I am not fully delivered yet, so I pray Jesus, draw me near to you and be close with you.
I just want to abide with you and be that "nothing", let you be everything in my life.
My Glory is Your Glory, My Kingdom is Your Kingdom.
I have been tasting the weight of the Cross and my sin, it is so heavy that choked me up.
The Cross, it doesn't mean the heaviness. It means the willingness of carrying.
It means the blood, the degree that He loves us.
The degree of willingness to love us even if the blood had to be shed in this way.
The weight for myself is already very heavy.
The weight for myself and my loved ones together is tremendous that
I even asked God that I wanted to go back to Heaven and hug God immediately,
yes, in times of undergoing the pit, I yelled from the pit of my heart to God.
I asked God, take me or deliver me out of this and get me to the promised land.
Today, I am still here, God You have to keep your promise then because you didn't take me.
Your Love is...
knowing our faults, knowing our lies, knowing our iniquities,
you are watching, you are listening and you just know that we are still being wrong
but you are still waiting 「ずっと待っていた、ずっとまっていた」井戸の傍で。
あなたを待っていた、ずっと待っていた、その井戸の傍で。
「あなたと共にいる。あなたを見放すことも、見捨てることもない。」 ヨシュア記 1章 5節
主、何も心配せずに、何も考えずに、あなたのところへ行きます。
ただ、あなたのところへ行きます。
ほかの事は。。。あなたの手に入れて、お願いしますね。
信じます。信じます。いつか、天国で会いましょ。
十字架の重さ、最後分かってきた。ありがとうございます。
身為第三者，我終於可以看得更明白了．
我應該：
１．完結整件不是出於聖靈的事
２．表示我作為基督徒與自己的看法
３．福音
４．完結得好，美．
5. Ask for forgiveness
6. Ask for cleansing
7. Ask for building up again
8. Prepare for the vision
9. Anointing and Power
10. Grow in Christ every day
11. Pray without stop on salvation
12. Ask for mercies and miracles
13. Receive from God
14. Glory to be glorified
15. Testimony for the future
16. Preaching
17. Everything will be whole in Christ
Hug the first one (Hurting)
Touch the other one (Need comfort)
Simply smile to the last one (Strong)
The dream was about the brownish world with the spirit walking around
It was tall, higher than mountains and walking on earth
a rain cloud that tended to stop but rose again without ceasing the rain
Then I saw another spirit walking through the buildings
The city was dead, the sky was brown and with smoke
Then I saw another one,
in the water, small but much more than those on earth
They were very small, seemed to be harmless
There were a lot in the water.
Don't touch and have access to any of that
because they are the seed of the satanic spirit
Once the seed is grown then you will reap what you have grown
You can't stop it because the vessel was being born
When you want to stop it and cut it off
You can only cut it off but the seed, which has become the extensive root system,
has become so strong that you cannot fight with it
The only way, is through Jesus Christ.
And you have to pay the price for cleansing the garden of your heart.
Yet, Jesus is willing and can do it for you
Yet, it certainly takes the price
That's the reason why The Lord asked me in October 2005
"Why can't ?"
I have got the answer. Thanks Lord
Jesus, you can and you help me to get rid of it. Cut off the whole root system in me for these 20 years please. Cut it off I beg you and plant the whole new one in Christ.
Don't come up with people's expectations
Just come up with the God's ones
"I need him more than you need him God"
Wisdom
Knowledge
Interpersonal Communication
Presentation Skills
Negotiation Skills
Pro-active
Enormous Responsibility
Loyalty
Courtesy
Smiles
Management
Give and Take
Prayer Prayer Prayer
Anointing
Power
Intercession
Miracles
Preaching
Completion Ability