When was the last time I visited here? I don't even remember. I am not able to keep up with my habit as always. It is surprising though that somebody is still coming here are read what I wrote long time ago? They better be out of their mind because I don't even want to read what I wrote in the past. Or maybe they are just automated search engines that randomly pick up my page. It's gotta be that.
I have not been doing well physically, having to visit hospital regularly. I might even need to quit my job. But I also haven't been able to find the next job either. So I am kind of stuck in the median of busy traffic. I am so sick and tired of what I do for work now. Maybe I want to be an English teacher or some sort.
Anyway, I am marching straight to the failure without doubt. Seriously, that is what depression can cause you.
Well, let's worry about what I am going to cook for dinner now. I am too tired to think about anything else.
I was watching this depressing TV documentary called "Muen Shakai (Disconnected society)". Basically it features how disconnected and isolated the Japanese are in modern day. It is a sickening reality we tend to forget. Strong family structure and mutual assistance between family members used to be the virtue of Japan. What has this country become of? It is just a bunch of free particles packed in this tiny islands?
I tell you American people are much more family oriented and family ties are much stronger. Family members and relatives get together almost every weekend and keep very close interactions. In contrast, Japan is such a sickening country. Yeah, they do get together, but they do that out of formalism like New Year and someone's wedding and shit. I think Japanese are in some sense more individualistic than Americans. Many men here put higher importance on job than on family. In the US, the men who think that job is more important than family can never marry, much less make a family, no matter how rich they are. If you are one of them, Americans would never think you are diligent or devoting, which is how Japanese would generally view those as, but Americans instead think you are just an anti-social wacko. Japanese may call Amricans lazy, but how come the lazy are much sperior to hard workers in terms of economy, science, politics, you name it.
What I hate about Japan is that people in this country just imitate bare surface of Western culture, without learning its core value. So this country has turned into such a grotesque place. They never try to learn what is the foundation of American culture and traditions, which is based on family. I feel sick when Japanese try to celebrate Halloween and Christmas. They have no clue of what they are all about. Japanese care way too much about "form" or "wrapping", forgetting that the contents inside are already rotten and stinky.
I kind of get a feeling that Japan is structured as a packaged system. What I mean by that is that in order to live here you have to stay inside the system and brainlessly follow the formulae that the system prescribes otherwise you have no choice but starving to death. Going to a good school, being hired by a big company as a new grad, and kissing your boss's ass until you retire. It is all packaged life automatically assigned when born in this country. For those who don't desired to live like a computer program, there is nowhere in this country to live. This is why many people in this country cannot "think and act outside of box".
It is not to say that American way is all better, but there is clearly an ice-cold cruelty that this society creates.
I tell you American people are much more family oriented and family ties are much stronger. Family members and relatives get together almost every weekend and keep very close interactions. In contrast, Japan is such a sickening country. Yeah, they do get together, but they do that out of formalism like New Year and someone's wedding and shit. I think Japanese are in some sense more individualistic than Americans. Many men here put higher importance on job than on family. In the US, the men who think that job is more important than family can never marry, much less make a family, no matter how rich they are. If you are one of them, Americans would never think you are diligent or devoting, which is how Japanese would generally view those as, but Americans instead think you are just an anti-social wacko. Japanese may call Amricans lazy, but how come the lazy are much sperior to hard workers in terms of economy, science, politics, you name it.
What I hate about Japan is that people in this country just imitate bare surface of Western culture, without learning its core value. So this country has turned into such a grotesque place. They never try to learn what is the foundation of American culture and traditions, which is based on family. I feel sick when Japanese try to celebrate Halloween and Christmas. They have no clue of what they are all about. Japanese care way too much about "form" or "wrapping", forgetting that the contents inside are already rotten and stinky.
I kind of get a feeling that Japan is structured as a packaged system. What I mean by that is that in order to live here you have to stay inside the system and brainlessly follow the formulae that the system prescribes otherwise you have no choice but starving to death. Going to a good school, being hired by a big company as a new grad, and kissing your boss's ass until you retire. It is all packaged life automatically assigned when born in this country. For those who don't desired to live like a computer program, there is nowhere in this country to live. This is why many people in this country cannot "think and act outside of box".
It is not to say that American way is all better, but there is clearly an ice-cold cruelty that this society creates.
Right now, I am doing the job that people consider to look up to. Yes, I suppose it may feel better than doing the jobs that people disrespect. But honestly, to hell with it.
The kind of job I want to do is NOT what people respect for, but what people appreciates for. There is a big Huge gap between them. Respectful job does not necessarily equates to the appreciated jobs.
I am sick and tired of my poor health condition. Due to that, what I express is not coherent, and smooth. You may wonder if I am drunk or influenced while reading my writing, but I am as dry sober as a desert. It is my pain that causes the "hop around" of my thought.
My severe backpain extends to my right arm, and the right hemisphere of my head feels numb, as well as my right toes. Anyone knows the cure for it?
The kind of job I want to do is NOT what people respect for, but what people appreciates for. There is a big Huge gap between them. Respectful job does not necessarily equates to the appreciated jobs.
I am sick and tired of my poor health condition. Due to that, what I express is not coherent, and smooth. You may wonder if I am drunk or influenced while reading my writing, but I am as dry sober as a desert. It is my pain that causes the "hop around" of my thought.
My severe backpain extends to my right arm, and the right hemisphere of my head feels numb, as well as my right toes. Anyone knows the cure for it?