Ive accepted i lost, its kind of a weird thing to accept and to realize but i do now. it wasnt a matter of being right or worn but thta of who will fold or see the error of the otehrs way. I lost and i knew i loss but i didnt want to admit that to myslef. but i have no choice now and honestly i would countinue to lie to ,yself before i ever really knew that i los but this show has helepd me see i loss. it so sadd though because iw anted to win not just for me but for him. if i won he could be happy, we could be togheter, we could be a fiarytaile instead of a nigthmare for me and an experience for him. ir eall y dont know what me realizing im oss might mean because in my heart i know i was right i just guess i was not right for him. I justs wish i was the one who left but as i say that i know him and even me leaving would be the same amoun of just things to smake themselves beleive they were right. there is nothing i caould have done which sucks. maybe if i habdle things diffrently that night it may be different but that all it is now a maybe of soemthing that cannot be undone so i have to livewithh it. i loved him so much that ti sucks that the afct i could have made things lsightly diffrent eats at me and my sould. i still imagine us toghethr and who knows that may be but i cannnot hold on to it as if it is guranteed reality. i loss and now i can movve forward because i know i will always b looking back at him and eveyrhting i love but ic can never actually steo bsck but hope one day he stps forwards. i belived thta he blamed me for eberything wrong in his ifeand thats true but i see i smoenwhat did they same thing i loss smh but he loss to whter he admits it or not