Today was an alright day. I found myself being somewhat active and doing thins i needed to get done. my dreams have been a lot more postive and seem to incldue a vsarity of people i havent thought about in a while, i wanetd to stay asleep. i wanted to stay a sleep and not wake up buti knw i had to wake up as reality is something i cant avoid. i enjoyed my time out today by being by myself and i rmebred moments from my past that made me happy. i had a moment of sadness as a decil from my past showed itself again but i fought it off, i stayed in bed for the rest of the day. but not because of that but because i didnt want to get up. bed just seem so safe. i miss him. i will alwyas miss him, but he doesn not miss me and i msut countinue on. i will say this. this writng dtuff really deos hhelp.andre was right buut i will never tell him. another day i made it through.