Part of me feels as if Im split into at times-- I can easily neglect my needs to make sure the other person feels they aren't alone. And I am aware that this is unhealthy. I found out that you can develop savior syndrome after experiencing some kind of trauma in childhood, such as abandonment. My childhood after a while, was about being in the shadow of my older brothers who were brighter and better than I was, and not being accepted by either parent. But I am very grateful now for the people who genuinely care about me as I do them: especially my partner. I am very grateful to be alive today and have this opportunity to choose to nurture my relationship with Mehdi every day. I know having unloving parents shaped me into an overly-loving partner and friend, but also a very sensitive person.
Mehdi and I will always be best friends working as a team and continue to learn from each other. I am extremely grateful I can continue my journey with him.
I look forward to how I would change through further self-discovery. I guess, in the end, it all comes down to where I focus my energy and how my values change over time. It is so common for women to want kids, so I have always felt like an outsider for not wanting children but I hope to keep living the life Im happy with. I am still a work in progress, and I hope to continue learning about life while going with the flow and experience many things good and bad.