I easily get taken aback when Mehdis upset at me sometimes. I feel like a relationship really is not perfect and no couple is always truly connected 24/7. But this also is just the norm of a relationship as you are two individuals trying to make things work in the end. We just have to give each other space at times. Everything will always fall back into place.
But as for the feelings of being unwanted/sensitive to words in a relationship, I notice the sudden switch I get, once I get hurt or feel too sensitive, I turn inwards and turn to my career for a sense of stability and safety in other words.
as if I am seeking a cure-all for the way I feel when I feel emotionally affected by one`s words in a relationship. In a nutshell, I need to leave my heart both to both pillars in the end, my love life as well as my career life.
I feel deep down I am simply seeking a safe haven to feel at home with. And even if I know Mehdi is my home when I am sensitive in times like now, I feel I lack understanding from Mehdi, and I retreat to my career for solace.
In other words, I also fear such conflict, even if there is not really a sense of conflict at all, and I know it is in my head. I can face that feeling within myself alone, open up to Mehdi after work, or simply work on it and let it pass, as tomorrow is another day.
I kind of see now why so many of us tie our identities to a career, and not to a relationship. But we also need to learn to communicate too if this is ever needed.