I know I will eventually be okay with myself if I end up alone. I will be okay if I can live on my income, budget well, and spend less money wisely. What would be the main foundations once and if I am ever living alone would be the close friends I would have then, my ability to be my own friend, and remaining kind to others (as long as they are kind to me), if people are disrespectful to me I can choose to be civil and cut ties with them or use words as my weapon. And my hobbies will be the next massive pillar of living alone: books (especially reading free books online via "Glose" or "Internet Archive" to save money), nature, reflective writing, talking to friends, etc.
I am happy in a relationship now, and I am grateful I can better myself while also loving and growing with someone, but I also want to become even more emotionally intelligent and independent over time for my sake more than anything, but also for Mehdi`s.
When I feel lost and lonely, sure I want to always be with a partner, and this can be toxic because, at the end of the day, I am responsible for my own actions and feelings. We are a team and love each other it ends there because we create our own happiness. I understand that this is what I was not comprehending in the past, I deeply relied too heavily on others to feel better, but the strength was within me all this time through self-reflection and other skills I look forward to learning about over time.
I guess my goal in life now is to learn more by devouring books and life experiences over time and stay gentle and patient with my growing process and timeline.
