You took my fragile life in your hands

twisted it with every bit of disgust and strength 

letting all your deep-seated hatred for me show

so I built a wall of silence around myself

as it slowly consumed me and became my universe

 

Your words made my ears bleed

and your actions ceased my beating heart 

as it folded into itself from time-stopping fear

 

You proved to me how much 

you loathed my existence

taking me away from myself

starting with a single touch

 

You unknowingly put me through

years of self-hatred, loss of identity,

struggling with redefining who I was

spending many years engulfed by ineffable 

self-hatred and disgust 

 

I still wish I could have the courage to ask you 

what made you do what you did

I may have a clearer purpose in my life now 

but I still continue to live in silence

where you placed me all those years ago

I hope I won't have to take this secret to my grave 

simply because you are far too prideful 

and too much of a coward to do so

 

Such fears like thinking I still have to be strong 

to prove to you and everyone around me that 

you never broke me still plays with my heart

and I hate the reality of it

 

This is one story that my heart refuses to let go of

that I may never get closure from

but the best I can do now is live fully for myself