vv

 

The urges and thoughts
toy with my heart
my mind collapsing in 
what feels like slow motion

Old habits revitalized
like a dying need 
to suck in a breath
after my soul being 
bound and raped

A torturous nightmare
intertwined with the shadow 
of truth and surrealness

Funny how trauma can forever 
stain the mind with so many 
shades of colors from the 
darkest of blacks to hauntingly white

My quiet hell from the past 
where self-sabotage, fear 
and delusional trust collide

Here I am fighting this sickening lust,
deciding to live resiliently 
I stride forward utilizing this silent war 
with my ED, knowing my worth

 I write, I teach, 
therefore I am alive