From Me to Me (may update later)
You have to take a step back and remember that you aren't a super therapist and are not put on this earth to take care of everyone in your life. You have the right, and should be your own giver, too, especially now that you know that not everyone in the family sees or cares how much I can care about them when they actually reach out (Ellie). This alone should be a lesson to unlean what I learned from my past, and know now that always helping others, being of service,and overly-giving is more of something I felt I had to do more than something I truly, from the heart, wanted to do. In a way, maybe it was more of an adapted, survival technique to feel liked or seen. That line is a blur at this point, but all I know is that I can`t keep overextending myself anymore just because friends or family (constantly at times) need me.Find that thing/soul ritual that binds you back to yourself, and show you how resilient and caring and good you are-- keep coming back to this ritual, whatever it may be (journaling, caring for someone/something, reading for growth, coloring, etc.) to reconnect with yourself when you feel lost, as if it`s a silent companion.“What part of me feels thirsty right now?”My need for caring for someone/something while having it reciprocated. “What’s growing in me that I haven’t noticed yet?”Perhaps I have lingering anger about what Dad did recently, but I also know I can't control his thoughts/actions anyway, so why bother?“What emotion am I afraid to name but still feel?”Unsure, yet.“Where have I been tender and strong this week?”“If I were my plant, what would I say to myself?”Keep growing. One moment at a time, one day at a time.
