Hello,
This is just way long already.
I shouldn't be writing this.
But this might be a reminder for my future self, when I look back.
How far I've come.
I just hope few years down the road I've already let go.
This year April I was admitted to the hospital for Tuberculosis.
It wasn't a good time for me
I stayed in the ward for almost a month at that time.
Depression kicks in, although it isn't that heavy.
Was jobless, single, broke and friendless
During my stay, I finally know who are my real friends are
and how cruel you came to be.
Maybe you didn't know whats going on
But times when I really needed you to care.
You weren't there.
I just couldn't bring myself to text or to call you to tell you about my condition
I am afraid you might not care and I might bring myself into worst state than I was at that time.
Then I realised how much I tried to be there even before we got together
How much I wanted you
and when I was in the ward
How much I've missed you.
It wasn't easy standing up.
The things you've said to me really put me down the dumps.
Life goes on and I already turned a new chapter in my life.
But the memories of you and me are still with me as I advance.
The happy times, The sad times. The times of What Ifs and Maybes.
Those memories attacked me very randomly
and made me realized that.
I haven't let you go.
No matter how hard I wish that you were a memory in the past.
No matter how hard I tried to move on but I'm just scared
How terrifying it is that things turned out to be how it is to be.
Thank goodness for my friends who are always around to cheer me up.
But when the memories attack
I just couldn't help to feel down.
At least the good side of it was that
I am slowly moving on?
As in those memories didn't attack me as much as they did before.
But you would still appear in my dreams
And would remind me how hurting it was you've left me.
You've now moved on and I guess totally forgotten about me
Got your boyfriend, got your friends, got your life.
It's best that I should stop thinking about you already..
2 years already and I'm still single.
Maybe because I don't want any remaining bits of you that would affect how I treat my "future" girlfriend.
That wouldn't be fair.
This is just way long already.
I shouldn't be writing this.
But this might be a reminder for my future self, when I look back.
How far I've come.
I just hope few years down the road I've already let go.
This year April I was admitted to the hospital for Tuberculosis.
It wasn't a good time for me
I stayed in the ward for almost a month at that time.
Depression kicks in, although it isn't that heavy.
Was jobless, single, broke and friendless
During my stay, I finally know who are my real friends are
and how cruel you came to be.
Maybe you didn't know whats going on
But times when I really needed you to care.
You weren't there.
I just couldn't bring myself to text or to call you to tell you about my condition
I am afraid you might not care and I might bring myself into worst state than I was at that time.
Then I realised how much I tried to be there even before we got together
How much I wanted you
and when I was in the ward
How much I've missed you.
It wasn't easy standing up.
The things you've said to me really put me down the dumps.
Life goes on and I already turned a new chapter in my life.
But the memories of you and me are still with me as I advance.
The happy times, The sad times. The times of What Ifs and Maybes.
Those memories attacked me very randomly
and made me realized that.
I haven't let you go.
No matter how hard I wish that you were a memory in the past.
No matter how hard I tried to move on but I'm just scared
How terrifying it is that things turned out to be how it is to be.
Thank goodness for my friends who are always around to cheer me up.
But when the memories attack
I just couldn't help to feel down.
At least the good side of it was that
I am slowly moving on?
As in those memories didn't attack me as much as they did before.
But you would still appear in my dreams
And would remind me how hurting it was you've left me.
You've now moved on and I guess totally forgotten about me
Got your boyfriend, got your friends, got your life.
It's best that I should stop thinking about you already..
2 years already and I'm still single.
Maybe because I don't want any remaining bits of you that would affect how I treat my "future" girlfriend.
That wouldn't be fair.