Haha. Well. I am back here again.
Ranting about emo stuffs that has been happening within me right now.
Reason I've been away for so long its because I starting to feel better already.
I dont have that hunger/need to text her everyday of my life. Or hoping that she would text me already..
Things just come natural and I am okay with it.
I just realised. Its about 24 hours before our second anniversary.
And our first kiss together.
Despite things getting better ever since the last post that we got a huge arguement and stuff.
I still miss her a lot and I still very much in love with her..
Its up to that very ridiculous stage where even you yourself clearly know that you are suppose to move on but you cant take that first time of getting away.
I mean come on. its 2 years already. Isn't it time to move?
Logically its time to move but everytime when I truly ask myself the question. And I am still waiting...
Sigh. Maybe this situation will get better after another year. I am not entirely sure about it.
_____________________________________
Well today. I helped her locate her passport that she accidentally left it in my car.
Of course I got worried as much as she was. And I was relieved that its really in my car and not dropped anywhere else.
And while looking at her passport while walking towards the elavator.
I just realised that. With this little book.
She could visit her boyfriend in Singapore since her posting is starting in Johore Bahru.
Then I looked at it and I felt very emotional. Till this moment.
It hurts alot that I am still in love with her and yet I am helping her to go visit her boyfriend.
Maybe I was burried deep within the friendzone that I have not seen the light of days already.
Its just very depressing to have realised that.
Sure, I could just hide it. Or even told her I couldn't find it and she's force to make a new one.
But because of assurance I just told her that its really in my car.
And I don't want to be the bad person here.
She meeting him is a fact that cannot be changed. But when I have the chance to change it. Even just a little, slight bit.
I couldn't do it.
She thanked me alot today.
But despite that. I dunno. I don't felt as thanked as how she thanked me.
It felt different.
Sigh. Tears meant nothing for me already. The pain is slowly and effectively became the part of me everytime she mentioned him.
Its hard to move on when you are clearly still in love with her.
Just wish that time would turn back to when I have her.
Things looked better last time.
______________________________________________________________
Shes still the girl in the picture that I've kept for more than a year.
I would always bring it along with me.
And might even look at her. Because the pictures stored our most precious memories.
I would miss the memories but I can't have them anymore.
Only the picture remains.
Ranting about emo stuffs that has been happening within me right now.
Reason I've been away for so long its because I starting to feel better already.
I dont have that hunger/need to text her everyday of my life. Or hoping that she would text me already..
Things just come natural and I am okay with it.
I just realised. Its about 24 hours before our second anniversary.
And our first kiss together.
Despite things getting better ever since the last post that we got a huge arguement and stuff.
I still miss her a lot and I still very much in love with her..
Its up to that very ridiculous stage where even you yourself clearly know that you are suppose to move on but you cant take that first time of getting away.
I mean come on. its 2 years already. Isn't it time to move?
Logically its time to move but everytime when I truly ask myself the question. And I am still waiting...
Sigh. Maybe this situation will get better after another year. I am not entirely sure about it.
_____________________________________
Well today. I helped her locate her passport that she accidentally left it in my car.
Of course I got worried as much as she was. And I was relieved that its really in my car and not dropped anywhere else.
And while looking at her passport while walking towards the elavator.
I just realised that. With this little book.
She could visit her boyfriend in Singapore since her posting is starting in Johore Bahru.
Then I looked at it and I felt very emotional. Till this moment.
It hurts alot that I am still in love with her and yet I am helping her to go visit her boyfriend.
Maybe I was burried deep within the friendzone that I have not seen the light of days already.
Its just very depressing to have realised that.
Sure, I could just hide it. Or even told her I couldn't find it and she's force to make a new one.
But because of assurance I just told her that its really in my car.
And I don't want to be the bad person here.
She meeting him is a fact that cannot be changed. But when I have the chance to change it. Even just a little, slight bit.
I couldn't do it.
She thanked me alot today.
But despite that. I dunno. I don't felt as thanked as how she thanked me.
It felt different.
Sigh. Tears meant nothing for me already. The pain is slowly and effectively became the part of me everytime she mentioned him.
Its hard to move on when you are clearly still in love with her.
Just wish that time would turn back to when I have her.
Things looked better last time.
______________________________________________________________
Shes still the girl in the picture that I've kept for more than a year.
I would always bring it along with me.
And might even look at her. Because the pictures stored our most precious memories.
I would miss the memories but I can't have them anymore.
Only the picture remains.