嘘をつかれてるって知る事ほどイライラするものはないよね。
小さい子供が嘘をつくときにはただの子供じみた行動として見逃すことができるけど、
大人になってもそういう行動が続くと、未熟を越して重症な問題になる。
嘘が続くと自分だけではなく、回りの人も傷つくはめになるでしょ。
口を慎む
言い返したい気持ちはまんまんだけれど、そこで我慢して嘘をつかれているのを分かっていると示すの。
嘘を信じてないと伝えたいけれども、そこでやさしく簡単じゃないけれど落ち着いて、自分が知っている真実を伝えてみて。
真実だけを言う
自分はいつも正直でいる。 言葉はとても重要だから、使う言葉にはいつも気を付けて。自分も嘘つきだと思われたくないでしょ。
気持ちを伝える
やさしく嘘をついている人に話をしたいと伝えて。 嘘をつかれている証拠がある事を伝えて、このまま行くと、その人の事が心配だと教えてあげて。この方法がうまく行かないと思っても、その人のことを心配しているという事だけは伝えてあげて。
話を聞いてもらう
もし嘘をついている人が、カウンセリングやほかの助けを拒んだら、自分が行ってみるのもいいかも。
信じる事が出来る友達や身近な人と話してみる事もいいかもしれない。 嘘つきな人と関わると、自分が気が狂ったり、正気を失ちゃう気持ちになってしまう事もあるから、自分の問題を人に聞いてもらうのも大事だと思う。
虚言癖
虚言癖がある人は大げさな話をする人。普通の嘘つきは、自分が嘘をついていると知っているのに比べて、虚言癖の人は自分の嘘を信じてしまう人。 これは重症な病気で直す事がとっても大事なの。
でもたまには虚言癖だけれども、自分の嘘自体は理解しているけれども、同情や注目のために嘘をつき続ける人もいる。
ー話を変える。
ー質問されると防御的になる。
ー小さい嘘をつく。
ー自分の嘘を信じる。
ーすべてに対して大げさに言う。
ーごまかす。
ー自分が悪いと認めない。
全てが失敗したら、関係を絶つ
もし嘘つきが嘘をやめないのなら、関係を絶って、どんなにこの問題が深刻だと教えるえるしかない。
この人にギブアップはしないで、でももしチャンスがある時には、心配だと伝えてあげて。
その間は、この人のために祈って、自分の人生に戻るしかないと思う。
だれにも人生には嘘つきな人と関わらなきゃいけない時があると思う。
でもそこでだまされたり、ギブアップしないで
その人を助けることが出来るかもしれないから。
How To Deal With Liars
There’s nothing more frustrating than knowing someone is habitually lying to you. When it’s a small child, it’s considered immaturity. But after a parent has tried to teach basic honesty and the child grows up and continues to lie, creating a fantasy world that you know isn’t real, the lying surpasses immaturity, becoming a serious problem. Both the liar and those close to him (or her) suffer if the lying persists.
Hold Your Tongue
Although you’re tempted to lash back, letting the liar know you don’t believe a word he says, it’s better to hold your tongue. Of course, you do want to let him know you don’t believe the lies, but try to keep your words soft and few, although it’s not easy. Calmly state (resisting the urge to use harsh words) what you know to be true.
State Only the Truth
Be sure you tell only the truth. If you’re known for being an honest person, then others can see the lie for what it is. Also, weigh your words carefully, as you don’t want to be accused of telling any untruths yourself.
Share Your Concerns with the Liar
In a gentle way, meet with the liar to share that you’re concerned about him. Tell him that you have proof of his lying and that you’re concerned for his welfare if he doesn’t change. If you know this approach probably won’t work, then maybe you’ll need to plan a confrontation where other friends and family members confront him in a surprise meeting, urging him to get professional help. Explain how it’s possible he may have a mental illness and need therapy. Be sure to convey that you really care about his welfare.
Seek Counseling Yourself
If your friend or loved one refuses to get professional help, or a confrontation doesn’t work, then you get help yourself, either professional counseling, or with a trusted friend, church elder, or minister with whom you can confide. Often when you associate with a liar, you can feel like you’re losing your mind, so to protect your own sanity, seek help.
Pathological Lying
A pathological liar is someone who exaggerates his stories to impress people. While a normal liar knows he’s lying, a pathological liar may actually come to believe his own lies. This is a serious mental disorder that needs to be corrected. On the other hand, some pathological liars know they’re lying, but continue to do so, as they get rewards in the form of sympathy, attention, etc.
Changes his stories
Acts defensively when questioned
Lies about minor things
Often actually believes his own lies
Exaggerates to an extreme degree about everything
Uses manipulation
Never admits he’s wrong
If all Else Fails, Disassociate
If the liar persists in telling untruths, then you may have break off all ties with him until he realizes the seriousness of his problem. Don’t give up on him, but when the opportunities arise, continue to let him know you’re concerned about his mental health. Meanwhile, pray for him, as you go on with your own life.
I've had my share of having to deal with liars too but don't get fooled or give up on them. You just might be able to save them.
Credit
http://personalitymooddisorders.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_deal_with_liars
小さい子供が嘘をつくときにはただの子供じみた行動として見逃すことができるけど、
大人になってもそういう行動が続くと、未熟を越して重症な問題になる。
嘘が続くと自分だけではなく、回りの人も傷つくはめになるでしょ。
口を慎む
言い返したい気持ちはまんまんだけれど、そこで我慢して嘘をつかれているのを分かっていると示すの。
嘘を信じてないと伝えたいけれども、そこでやさしく簡単じゃないけれど落ち着いて、自分が知っている真実を伝えてみて。
真実だけを言う
自分はいつも正直でいる。 言葉はとても重要だから、使う言葉にはいつも気を付けて。自分も嘘つきだと思われたくないでしょ。
気持ちを伝える
やさしく嘘をついている人に話をしたいと伝えて。 嘘をつかれている証拠がある事を伝えて、このまま行くと、その人の事が心配だと教えてあげて。この方法がうまく行かないと思っても、その人のことを心配しているという事だけは伝えてあげて。
話を聞いてもらう
もし嘘をついている人が、カウンセリングやほかの助けを拒んだら、自分が行ってみるのもいいかも。
信じる事が出来る友達や身近な人と話してみる事もいいかもしれない。 嘘つきな人と関わると、自分が気が狂ったり、正気を失ちゃう気持ちになってしまう事もあるから、自分の問題を人に聞いてもらうのも大事だと思う。
虚言癖
虚言癖がある人は大げさな話をする人。普通の嘘つきは、自分が嘘をついていると知っているのに比べて、虚言癖の人は自分の嘘を信じてしまう人。 これは重症な病気で直す事がとっても大事なの。
でもたまには虚言癖だけれども、自分の嘘自体は理解しているけれども、同情や注目のために嘘をつき続ける人もいる。
ー話を変える。
ー質問されると防御的になる。
ー小さい嘘をつく。
ー自分の嘘を信じる。
ーすべてに対して大げさに言う。
ーごまかす。
ー自分が悪いと認めない。
全てが失敗したら、関係を絶つ
もし嘘つきが嘘をやめないのなら、関係を絶って、どんなにこの問題が深刻だと教えるえるしかない。
この人にギブアップはしないで、でももしチャンスがある時には、心配だと伝えてあげて。
その間は、この人のために祈って、自分の人生に戻るしかないと思う。
だれにも人生には嘘つきな人と関わらなきゃいけない時があると思う。
でもそこでだまされたり、ギブアップしないで
その人を助けることが出来るかもしれないから。
How To Deal With Liars
There’s nothing more frustrating than knowing someone is habitually lying to you. When it’s a small child, it’s considered immaturity. But after a parent has tried to teach basic honesty and the child grows up and continues to lie, creating a fantasy world that you know isn’t real, the lying surpasses immaturity, becoming a serious problem. Both the liar and those close to him (or her) suffer if the lying persists.
Hold Your Tongue
Although you’re tempted to lash back, letting the liar know you don’t believe a word he says, it’s better to hold your tongue. Of course, you do want to let him know you don’t believe the lies, but try to keep your words soft and few, although it’s not easy. Calmly state (resisting the urge to use harsh words) what you know to be true.
State Only the Truth
Be sure you tell only the truth. If you’re known for being an honest person, then others can see the lie for what it is. Also, weigh your words carefully, as you don’t want to be accused of telling any untruths yourself.
Share Your Concerns with the Liar
In a gentle way, meet with the liar to share that you’re concerned about him. Tell him that you have proof of his lying and that you’re concerned for his welfare if he doesn’t change. If you know this approach probably won’t work, then maybe you’ll need to plan a confrontation where other friends and family members confront him in a surprise meeting, urging him to get professional help. Explain how it’s possible he may have a mental illness and need therapy. Be sure to convey that you really care about his welfare.
Seek Counseling Yourself
If your friend or loved one refuses to get professional help, or a confrontation doesn’t work, then you get help yourself, either professional counseling, or with a trusted friend, church elder, or minister with whom you can confide. Often when you associate with a liar, you can feel like you’re losing your mind, so to protect your own sanity, seek help.
Pathological Lying
A pathological liar is someone who exaggerates his stories to impress people. While a normal liar knows he’s lying, a pathological liar may actually come to believe his own lies. This is a serious mental disorder that needs to be corrected. On the other hand, some pathological liars know they’re lying, but continue to do so, as they get rewards in the form of sympathy, attention, etc.
Changes his stories
Acts defensively when questioned
Lies about minor things
Often actually believes his own lies
Exaggerates to an extreme degree about everything
Uses manipulation
Never admits he’s wrong
If all Else Fails, Disassociate
If the liar persists in telling untruths, then you may have break off all ties with him until he realizes the seriousness of his problem. Don’t give up on him, but when the opportunities arise, continue to let him know you’re concerned about his mental health. Meanwhile, pray for him, as you go on with your own life.
I've had my share of having to deal with liars too but don't get fooled or give up on them. You just might be able to save them.
Credit
http://personalitymooddisorders.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_deal_with_liars