New Years Eve~

Last day on this year... It feels quite odd actually... I mean, so many things has happend this year, so many changes... I'm a completely different person now than before.

I will remember this year the rest of my life, both the good and the bad. Maybe it would be best to try to explain the year in months, but I think that would be too cliché, at least for now... Maybe I will do it later on, tomorrow or something...

I hope that the next year will be a good and happy year full of exciting things and meetings. I hope that I will make new friends (and foes, hahaha! nah, just kiddin'!) and maybe meet a new love. I hope that I will continue to grow as a person and that I will have found myself even more till next December. I hope I will find even more things and persons to cherish and I also hope that somethings will turn out to the better. I also hope, and this with all my heart, that I will be able to forget somethings that is still nagging on me and that I will be able to think back at some of those things and smile and say that I'm a much bigger and better and more mature person than I was back then.

Please do everything you can to become a good person you to! A new year is a perfect new start to do all those things and if you always tries to develop your personality to the better you will start to see a lot of things that you couldn't even dream of before! I'm absolutely not an expert on these things, but I really do belive that one person can change so many things to the better just by staying openminded!

Happy New Year!!!

So sick of stereotypes!!

I want a best friend that I can do whatever with. I want to have someone to talk about different kind of deep things with, someone that also is LGBTQ and that doesn't care so much about how a friend should be and not be, I mean, I don't like rules, especially not if they're heteronormative. I'm so sick of everything stereotypical! I'm sick of the fact that everyone in my family seems to thing that it's a BIG different between friendship and love and what you're suposed to do with a friend and with a person that you're going out with. I'm sick of the fact that everyone tells me that I will understand what they're talking about when I get in love and get a lover. I mean, for God's sake, I've already had one! I know exactly how it feels to be in love and I'm a pro on telling people how it feels to loose someone that you loved so much and entierly! I mean, come on, my ex-girlfriend just started to ignore me one day and we haven't really talked from then so I think I know alot more about love than other people do. We never had sex, right, but we had something deeper, something beyond that (I'm pretty sure that she is assexual) so we didn't need all the physical stuff. When I try to tell people that they just says something like "you will get it when you gets inlove for real and when you have a sexlife with that person". WTF!!! Sex isn't always the most important thing in a relationship and btw, I allready have a sex life! Why can't people open up their eyes for a change sometime. Just become a little more openminded and queer would help really much, I promise! This is really starting to killing me... I don't got anyone in my age and where I live to talk about these things either, so I'm feeling pretty lonley... I want to turn eighteen and start to go out on queer-feminstic clubs and bars and maybe (hopefully!) meet some cool queer kids activists there... That would be fantastic!

//butakewt~

Getting out of the closet at school?

We have an assignment in Swedish in school that we should write a chronical about something that has to do with the subject courage and we have to talk about one text that we've got (we've got three, one about coming out of the closet, one about aparthied and one about God)... I'm not black and I'm not religious, but I am gay so offcourse I want to write about coming out of the closet, but it's just that that most of the pupils in my class seems pretty conservative so I don't know if that's such a good idea... I mean, we always grade eachothers assignments before we hand it in to the teacher, that's a part of our education, and that means that some other pupil will read my chronical and that can create some unpleasent things in the near future if they aren't openminded... What should I do? What gives people right to judge if someones sexuality is good or bad? I thing my teacher got the thing when we talked about it because she said that I could skip the friend-grade-thingie if I really felt uncomfortable with it, but I want to stand up for myself also so maybe I should just stop thinking and just write one hell of a chronical about my coming out as a lesbian story?!

Well, I got to go and take a shower now...

//butakewt