私は、毎年冬になると、霜焼けになる。足の指が赤く腫れて、めちゃくちゃ痛くなる。初めてなった時、慰めてもらおうと、アメリカにいるお母さんに電話して、事情を伝えた。お母さんの反応はすごかった。[ 何？霜焼け？あなたは日本の九州じゃなくて、ロシアのシベリアに住んどると？] まぁ、お母さんは博多弁で言わんかったけど、何でこんなびっくりしたって知っとう？それは、簡単に答えられる。
アメリカでは、霜焼けにならないからさ。霜焼けになった人に会ったことがないし、最近まで英語の単語さえ聞いたこともなかった。なる人はいるかもしれんけど、あまり聞いたことがない。さて、一体なんで発展国の日本では、アメリカではホームレスの人くらいしかならない霜焼けになると？説明させてください。
九州の家は、暑い夏のために作られているから、断熱材はあまり使われていない。私の家の中は、外より寒い。新しい家の初めての冬に脅かされている。どんだけ寒くなると？怖い。もしかしたら、足指だけじゃなくて手指も霜焼けになるかも。恐ろしい。
So how do you heat a cold Japanese house? There are several options, all of which are bad. You can use a gas heater, but you have to have the adapter for that installed, and the actually heater can be quite pricey. You can use that AC/heater combo on the wall, which is the easiest, but it has several drawbacks. First, it totally stinks at heating up the room. Second, your electricity bill will go through the roof. So, there is nothing worse than paying out the nose and still being cold. The last and most popular option is the kerosene heater. In America, only country folks and poor folks used kerosene heaters. We were country folks, so I had one, but I hadn't seen one since till I moved to Japan. These heaters rock at heating up the room and kerosene is relatively cheap, but you may die from the poisonous fumes the heater emits. So, you can save a ton of money but you may die. There is no misery on earth like waking up on a cold morning to an empty kerosene heater. There are only two options--fill it up by myself in the pitch dark, or wait for my husband to wake up. I wait for my husband.
I get chilblains, which is mild frostbite, on my toes almost every year. My toes get swollen, red and hurt like the devil. The first time I got chilblains, I called my Mommy in the US for comfort. Her reaction was awesome. "What!! Chilblains! I thought you were living in Kyushu, not Siberia. So why was she so shocked?
Because, well, in America nobody really gets chilblains. I've never met anyone with it, and I had never even heard the English word for it until recently. I'm sure there are rare occasions that someone gets it, but I've never heard of one. So, here's my question. Why is it, that in Japan, one of the most developed countries in the world, people are afflicted by chilblains, a condition you see mostly in homeless people? Let me explain it to you today.
簡単に言うと、家が寒い。スーパーも寒い。学校も寒い。レストランも寒い。どこに行っても寒いから、寒さから逃げられないバイ。マジ、拷問みたいだ。日本人は慣れているかもしれんけど、どんなに長く日本に住んでいても、アンちゃんは慣れん。毎年死ぬかと思うけど、なんとか、霜焼けまみれのアンちゃんは無事に春を迎えることができる。
To put it simply, houses are cold. Supermarkets are cold. Schools are cold. Restaurants are cold. There is no escape. It is a slow form of torture. I guess Japanese people get used to it, but even after 16 years here, I can't. Every year, I'm sure I'll die, but somehow my chilblains-racked feet (and the rest of me too) make it safely to spring.
アメリカでは、殆どの家はセントラルヒーティング(１つの設定で家の全部の部屋を同じ温度に設定する暖房制度) があるから、外がどんなに寒くなっていても家の中は快適だ。半袖で平気で、グッスリ眠れる。でも日本の家は違う。スキーパンツを履いて、バスローブを着て、小さい部屋に引きこもる。コタツに入ってみかんを食べながら、寒さで死なないように神様に祈る。寝る時は快適というよりも、レースみたい。部屋を暖めるため、寝る前に暖房をつける。バリバリ分厚い掛け布団の中に潜って、暖房を消す。寒くなる前に必死に眠ろうとする。朝起きたら、白い息が見える。起き上がりたくない。家が8度ということに気づいたら、まぁ、今日は暖かい方なんだ、と喜びの声をあげる。アメリカ人の私は、朝にシャワー浴びるから、なんとか、暖かくなる。日本人は、どうするかな。コタツに入ってまたみかんを食べるか、便座に座るか、それしかない。この話はちょっと極端かもしれんけど、大体こんな感じやろう？
In America, most houses have central heating. While it may be freezing outside, you are warm and toasty inside. You can comfortably wear a t-shirt and sleep like a baby. In Japan, though, things are different. You put on your ski pants and bath robe, then huddle under the Kotatsu eating oranges in the smallest room in the house. You close all the doors to keep the cold out and the heat in, and you pray to God you won't freeze to death. Bedtime is a race. You turn on the heater before you go to bed to warm up the room, then you hunker down under the massive Japanese comforter, turn off the heater, and try with all your might to fall asleep before the cold overwhelms you. When you wake up in the morning you can see your breath, and everything within you wants to stay in bed. As an American, I shower in the morning, so somehow I am able to fight off the cold, but I wonder what Japanese do. They must go back under the kotatsu to eat oranges, or sit on the heated toilet seat. Maybe this story is slight exaggeration, but it's something like this, right?
九州の家は、暑い夏のために作られているから、断熱材はあまり使われていない。私の家の中は、外より寒い。新しい家の初めての冬に脅かされている。どんだけ寒くなると？怖い。もしかしたら、足指だけじゃなくて手指も霜焼けになるかも。恐ろしい。
Houses in Kyushu are built for summer, so they are poorly insulated. It's now October 4, and it's colder in my house than the 23 degrees Celsius it is outside. This will be our first winter in our new house, and the looming winter is bearing down on us. I wonder just how cold it will get. Scary. Perhaps this winter, I will get chilblains not only on my toes but also on my fingers. Scary.
じゃ、家はバリバリ寒かったら、どうやって暖かくなると？いろいろある。ガズファンヒーターはめちゃくちゃ効くけど、家にガスをひかないとダメだし、ヒーターを買うにはお金が結構かかる。壁についている、エアコンと暖房が一緒になっているやつは1番便利やけど、２つのデメリットがある。まず、全然部屋は暖かくならん。マジ。次に、高い。バリバリお金を出して、まだ死ぬほど寒いのはイヤだ。最後に、1番人気があるやつ--灯油ストーブ。アメリカでは、田舎ものか、貧しい人しか灯油ストーブは使わん。私は、田舎ものだから、小さい時、実家にあったけど、あれから見ていない。灯油は安くて、部屋はめちゃ暖かくなるけど、出る毒気で死ぬ可能性が高い。きっと節約するけど、死ぬかも。朝起きて、灯油がなくなっていることより残酷なことはない。泣きたい。真っ黒な」中自分で入れるか、旦那が起きるまで待つか、その選択肢しかない。やっぱり、旦那を待つ。
So how do you heat a cold Japanese house? There are several options, all of which are bad. You can use a gas heater, but you have to have the adapter for that installed, and the actually heater can be quite pricey. You can use that AC/heater combo on the wall, which is the easiest, but it has several drawbacks. First, it totally stinks at heating up the room. Second, your electricity bill will go through the roof. So, there is nothing worse than paying out the nose and still being cold. The last and most popular option is the kerosene heater. In America, only country folks and poor folks used kerosene heaters. We were country folks, so I had one, but I hadn't seen one since till I moved to Japan. These heaters rock at heating up the room and kerosene is relatively cheap, but you may die from the poisonous fumes the heater emits. So, you can save a ton of money but you may die. There is no misery on earth like waking up on a cold morning to an empty kerosene heater. There are only two options--fill it up by myself in the pitch dark, or wait for my husband to wake up. I wait for my husband.
日本の冬はバリバリ苦手。けど、日本が好きすぎてたまらん。どうしたらいい？やっぱりコタツに入ってみかんを食べるしかない。それでも寒さを我慢ができんかったら、便座に座りに行くバイ。
I hate Japanese winters, but I'm crazy about Japan. What should I do? I'll just huddle under my kotatsu and eat oranges. And if that doesn't work, well, I'll just go sit on my heated toilet seat.
