my feelings don't matter. people can treat me horribly and i don't have the right to be angry, even if i do get angry.
i don't deserve to be treated nicely.
but i don't wanna be sad either. neither do i want to be treated horribly.
i wish i was a better person who deserves to be treated nicely by others.
ah.
i wanted to change.
but now i miss my old self. i don't wanna change. i like being cold.
i don't deserve to be treated nicely.
but i don't wanna be sad either. neither do i want to be treated horribly.
i wish i was a better person who deserves to be treated nicely by others.
ah.
i wanted to change.
but now i miss my old self. i don't wanna change. i like being cold.
2 more weeks.
and now it's time for me to return to my shell.
i wish time can stand still because i don't want to know what the future holds for me right now.
but i want these 2 weeks to end fast, it's every day seems to getting longer and more unbearable.
but soon i'll be back to my old self :) not that it's a good thing though :) but closing up seems very alluring to me right now.
and now it's time for me to return to my shell.
i wish time can stand still because i don't want to know what the future holds for me right now.
but i want these 2 weeks to end fast, it's every day seems to getting longer and more unbearable.
but soon i'll be back to my old self :) not that it's a good thing though :) but closing up seems very alluring to me right now.
"without me, my mother would not have a son, my wife would not have a husband, and my sister would not have a brother. that's how important a part i play in this world."
i just read this paragraph in the papers.
i am almost on the verge of crying.
all the time i feel like a liability to everyone. i wish there can be one day i can confidently say that without me, my parents would not have a daughter, my brother would not have a sister and my friends would not have a friend like me.
"there are definitely way
that u made people ard u smile
think abt ur parents
i am sure
they are glad to have u as their daighter"
my friend said this to me a few days ago. and i cried.
now that i am reading it again, i have just started crying.
i really wish this is true.
i owe a big debt to my parents i can never repay. i only cause trouble and waste their money time and effort and cause them to worry a lot.
everyday i feel like a complete wreck.
i can't control my emotions well and i am very weak.
i wish there will come a time when i can finally make the people around me smile and not just give people around me endless disappointments.
i feel like eveyone's moving forward and im left behind drowning in my own sea of hopelessness.
i just read this paragraph in the papers.
i am almost on the verge of crying.
all the time i feel like a liability to everyone. i wish there can be one day i can confidently say that without me, my parents would not have a daughter, my brother would not have a sister and my friends would not have a friend like me.
"there are definitely way
that u made people ard u smile
think abt ur parents
i am sure
they are glad to have u as their daighter"
my friend said this to me a few days ago. and i cried.
now that i am reading it again, i have just started crying.
i really wish this is true.
i owe a big debt to my parents i can never repay. i only cause trouble and waste their money time and effort and cause them to worry a lot.
everyday i feel like a complete wreck.
i can't control my emotions well and i am very weak.
i wish there will come a time when i can finally make the people around me smile and not just give people around me endless disappointments.
i feel like eveyone's moving forward and im left behind drowning in my own sea of hopelessness.
can i be deluded?
i should be deluded!
it makes me happy :) reality doesn't make me happy, my happy delusions do.
"
｢樹威｣という名前は、例えどんなにでっかい嵐が来ても、いつまでも倒れない威厳のある一本の大樹でありたいという意味を込めて、中学生ぐらいの時から決めてた。
"
i should learn to be a stronger person too, i think i am very immatured right now.
but i really feel deluded right now.
didjuireadmyquestion?wasthattheanswertomyquestion?
maybe not, but can i pretend it is?
(´∀｀)
with esther and rourou!
i should be deluded!
it makes me happy :) reality doesn't make me happy, my happy delusions do.
"
｢樹威｣という名前は、例えどんなにでっかい嵐が来ても、いつまでも倒れない威厳のある一本の大樹でありたいという意味を込めて、中学生ぐらいの時から決めてた。
"
i should learn to be a stronger person too, i think i am very immatured right now.
but i really feel deluded right now.
didjuireadmyquestion?wasthattheanswertomyquestion?
maybe not, but can i pretend it is?
(´∀｀)
with esther and rourou!