did online shopping for clothes yesterday. spent a bomb. probably not a bomb to others, but it is to a person like me who's currently unemployed still. but the situation will change in 9 more days!
everytime i shop for clothes right now, i keep on thinking if it is suitable for work. i also keep on thinking of my microdermal, how to hide it.
my latest and best solution is eyelid tape + lip conceler. bought the eyelid tape a couple of years back hoping it can even my uneven eyelids out, but it doesn't work on my eyes and has been collecting dust ever since. i finally have a use for it! it is invisible on my skin. and my lip concealer is the thing i have closest to my skin colour. of course my microdermal is not flat and the tape will still pop up a little and it's still pretty visible, but it's better than using a plaster.
but also i have been buying mostly high neck tops so there's no need to cover it specially.
the professional world is not for people who look a little different, think a little different, like me. but i chose this path and i'd have to fit in. i am also not prepared to cut out my microdermals, i really love my microdermals.
i just hope whoever's gonna be my new boss will not mind them too much.
it's sad that work is starting to creep into my life and affect my choices and my thoughts. i can't be as carefree in the past and just buy any article of clothing i want, my budget is limited. and i won't have the time to wear what i used to wear either. i used to love all the flowery, lacy, mini, layery stuff, but now i feel so held back all the time.
the older i get, the worse my complexes become. i get affected by things pretty easily, i dwell on things i should not dwell on. i have a lot of thoughts that bring me down but i can't ignore them, i am not strong. i am happy to know people who accept me for who i am. they are few and far in between. because i can't accept how i mostly am.
9 days left. what do i want? i don't know the meaning of my life. but i am taking a step forward. there will be things that will bring me down, but i will stand up and do my best, and i hope i'll soon know the path i want to take.
everytime i shop for clothes right now, i keep on thinking if it is suitable for work. i also keep on thinking of my microdermal, how to hide it.
my latest and best solution is eyelid tape + lip conceler. bought the eyelid tape a couple of years back hoping it can even my uneven eyelids out, but it doesn't work on my eyes and has been collecting dust ever since. i finally have a use for it! it is invisible on my skin. and my lip concealer is the thing i have closest to my skin colour. of course my microdermal is not flat and the tape will still pop up a little and it's still pretty visible, but it's better than using a plaster.
but also i have been buying mostly high neck tops so there's no need to cover it specially.
the professional world is not for people who look a little different, think a little different, like me. but i chose this path and i'd have to fit in. i am also not prepared to cut out my microdermals, i really love my microdermals.
i just hope whoever's gonna be my new boss will not mind them too much.
it's sad that work is starting to creep into my life and affect my choices and my thoughts. i can't be as carefree in the past and just buy any article of clothing i want, my budget is limited. and i won't have the time to wear what i used to wear either. i used to love all the flowery, lacy, mini, layery stuff, but now i feel so held back all the time.
the older i get, the worse my complexes become. i get affected by things pretty easily, i dwell on things i should not dwell on. i have a lot of thoughts that bring me down but i can't ignore them, i am not strong. i am happy to know people who accept me for who i am. they are few and far in between. because i can't accept how i mostly am.
9 days left. what do i want? i don't know the meaning of my life. but i am taking a step forward. there will be things that will bring me down, but i will stand up and do my best, and i hope i'll soon know the path i want to take.
