fugane.jp
またまた転勤された
So...here we go again
またまた。。。
Time to pack up and go！
またその時期だ。。。
We are given just a month to move
言われた後、1か月しかない。。。荷物の整理など。。。
So in April, we, yet again, moved...we moved out of Tokyo.
なので、今年の4月、またお引越ししました...東京ライフ。。。終了！
I unexpectedly grew to like Tokyo...私は東京は期待より好きになった
By now, I am an expert mover
4回目？ お引越しするの。。。得意になったかも！
A lot of goodbyes again...
また。。。友達と別れなきゃ。。。
Now, 4 months later...life has gone "back to normal"
4か月後。。。ずいぶん落ち着いてきた
Enjoying a summer bbq and the enchanting sound of cicadas....
夏のバーベキューを楽しみながら、魅惑的な蝉の声を聞く
I appreciate every day and moment
毎日を満喫して、なんでもに感謝しています
Key points I learned from moving so many times:
数回引っ越しで学んだこと
Happiness and health, is wealth!
健康と幸福は財産
Resilience is the key to success
弾力性を持つと成功できる
PICTURE: summer parfait party
職場と家庭での危機！Workplace and home crises！
It has been a long time
お久しぶりです！！！
In December 2020, just before our (online) Christmas party for university students......my colleagues and I were told of some horrifying news!
12月の2020、大学生のためにの（オンライン）クリスマス会をやる前に、私たち(私と同僚)は。。。恐ろし知らせが来ました。。。
We would all be losing our jobs at the end of the academic school year. (partly due to corona.......)
私たちは皆、学年の終わりに仕事を失う （コロナ関係で。。。）
Way to get us into that Christmas spirit （dripping of sarcasm!!!)
クリスマスの気分。。。。。。風船のような感じ、気分がしぼんでしまった。
I was too busy to update my blog......it has been a stressed to the max year!!!
ブログを書く溶融がなくて。。。
My child was dealing with various major life crises!!!!
子供も。。。人生の危機...次から次
My husband changed job departments and was COMPLETELY MAXED OUT with work stress!!!!
旦那も。。。職場の部門を変更しまして。。。ストレス限界！！！
Quite frankly, it was a horrible 2021!!!
正直に言えば、恐ろしい一年間でした！！！！！！！
The good part is.....
良かったのは
Life goes on
人生は。。。止めらず。。。続く
We threw soybeans at each other on Setsubun (in addition to eating thick sushi rolls)
節分の日に私たちちゃんと大豆をお互いに投げた。。。えほう巻きを作って、食べた。
We had a family Valentine's Day dinner party at my house...
3人で、バレンタインのディナーパーティーをしました.
Holidays are made to be celebrated!
いつでも、なんでもをお祝いするのは大事！！！
My teen made her father some Florentine bar cookies by herself
うちのティーンエイジャーはパパのために、一人でフロランタンクッキを作りました
I bought beef prosciutto, craft beer, and made homemade chocolates for my husband
旦那のためにクラフトビールを作って、本命チョコを作って、岩手の牛生ハムを買った（量は少ないのに、ものすごい高い！！！！）
I got my yoga teaching certification (RYT500) when I was unemployed and I started to study for a pilates certification.
仕事をしていない間、ヨガインストラクターの資格を取得しました。そして現在ピラティスの認定もチャレンジしています。
After stopping my work at the university, I found so many jobs as an English Instructor.
大学の仕事を辞めた後、私は他の多くの仕事を始めました
Various life-changing jobs that changed my perspective on a) teaching, b) child-raising and c) living life.
私の視点を変えた人生を変える仕事: 教育、子育て、生活.
Working at the university also made a great impact in my life...but my new jobs taught me more in just one short year!
大学で働くことも私の人生に大きな影響を与えました
I found the happiest students not to be the ”ｓmartest" or most "intelligent" but the happiest ones were from families with loving and caring parents.
一番いい生徒さんたちは。。。”頭がいい”とか”賢いい”子たちではない。。。 一番ハッピーの生徒さんたちは。。。安定的な家庭、子供たちへの愛と思いやりを示した両親
The same was found to be true when teaching at a cram school for elite students (in Tokyo).
英語の塾の教え子も同じでした
Students with tiger moms and dads do not turn out very well emotionally. While they may have good grades, they often lack empathy and social skills. (just a generalization and not always the case, might I add!)
教育熱心の親を持っている生徒さんは。。。「心の知能指数」が不足している。。。 優秀のに、思いやりがないとか、共感を持っていない。
Many parents think they can buy their kids a good future with money.
お金でいい将来を買えると思っている親もいくらでもいます。
Education starts at the home.
教育はまず家から学ぶことじゃない？！
I cannot stress this enough.
この点を強調したい
Families need to communicate more.
自宅でもっとコミュニケーションをとる
Even if it means more fighting.
喧嘩でもいいから、とにかく、もっとコミュニケーションをしましょう！
It has been 3 years in Tokyo. A city I thought I would hate but in fact enjoy so much!
東京の生活。。。3年目になりました。あっと言う間です！ 東京が好きとは思わなかったのに、結構楽しんでいます!
I made many new friends in Tokyo!
ここ東京にはたくさんの新しい友達ができました
I have tons of interesting new coworkers!
新しい同僚もたくさんいます
Life is so dynamic, isn’t it?
人生は常に変化しています
Life can be tough, but we can find something that makes us smile every day!
人生はいつでも辛いこともありますが、私たちは毎日笑顔になる何かを見つけることができます。
Stay optimistic, healthy, and keep a sense of humor!
前向きになって、健康であれば、いいでしょう！ （時々笑っても大事ですよ！）
Hope that you are staying well and healthy！！！
皆さんお元気で！体を気を付けてくださいね！
Though corona still isn't over, let's try our best to hang in there!!!
コロナに負けず、お互い頑張ろう！！！！
Photo: I had work in Fukushima...this is the super cute sightseeing area Ouchi-juku. You must try the shingoro dango sweet dumplings!
仕事の出張のため、福島県に行ってきた。 人気な観光スポット：大内宿。。。しんごろう団子（甘いえごま味噌は絶品！！！）
My family no longer lets me post photos of them and I don't want to post my colleagues photos without permission.........haha, so it is a very "lonely" photo of me cut out of a group shot!!
A request I have of couples that divorce:
Please explain clearly the situation of your relationship and reason for your divorce to your child. Please also have your child go to a family counselor or therapist after your divorce. A divorce is equivalent to the death of a family member. It is something very serious and if not addressed, it WILL LEAVE SCARS on your child for life. I taught many students with such deep wounds, students torn from a parent without much explanation. Those students have an indelible dark scar......that haunts them for years on end. It is sad as an educator to see (some of these students came to me, confessing that they are depressed in life and never want to marry, EVER!!!)
コロナの夏休み
Although I could not go abroad for summer vacation this year, we could thoroughly enjoy Tokyo to its fullest! Staycation time!!!
今年の夏休みは海外に行けませんでしたが、東京での滞在を楽しむことができました。
Since it was better not to leave Tokyo, we enjoyed a very much deserted Tokyo.
コロナまだ落ち着いていないから、東京から離れないほうがいいと思った。 東京の食べ歩きなど。。。をしました。
To support the local economy we went here and there, all the while taking careful measures not to get/spread COVID
地域経済を支えるために、あちこち行きました。COVIDをかからないように気を付けました。マスクをして、消毒液を真剣に使っていました。
There was no line for the #1 best-selling dorayaki in Japan, Kamejyuu. (though, to be honest, I prefer their white bean wafer sandwiches)
普段。。。すごい行列しているところは今、好いていて、寂しい。 日本中で人気ナンバー１のどら焼きのお店(亀十)。。。並ばないで、すぐ買えました。（庄司次期を言って、私はどら焼きより、白あんの”もなか”が好きです！）
Since we couuld not go abroad, we enjoyed ethnic takeout food or making ethnic dishes in the comfort of our own home. Eating it made us feel like we went abroad, well, kind of... This pic is of Tunisian food.
海外に行けないから、自宅でエスニック料理を作った。。。海外気分を少し感じた！ 写真はチュニジア料理。
My friend's cake shop has many beautiful seasonal cakes right now...so many beautiful ones, it was hard to choose!
神楽坂にあるケーキ屋LE COIN VERT
友達のケーキ屋は。。。期間限定のケーキたくさんあります。 選択あり過ぎて。。。選ぶのは難しかった！
Last but not least...this summer was spent GIVING to others.
私はこの夏、困っている人を助けるために過ごしました。
Volunteering in Kumamoto.
熊本の被災地のボランティア
Volunteering at the local children's cafeteria.
こども食堂のボランティア活動
Volunteering at a food pantry.
フードパントリーのボランティア
Supporting local businesses, especially the food industry
地元企業の支援して（特に飲食店）
海外に行けなかったけど、とても貴重な経験でした
Though we were unable to go abroad, what an invaluable summer it has been.
今年ダメですよね。。。と農家さんが言っていました
Poor artisans and farmers. COVID really hit their businesses hard. Livelihoods...greatly affected.
コロナ禍で農家さんも、大変困っています！
The Aoyama Farmer's market is back! (as of yesterday)
昨日から、青山のファーマーズマーケットが再開されました。
Since corona struck, they've been unable to hold the market...it was a long 5 months.
コロナのせいで5か月間できなかった（市場）
Even now the market is being conducted on a much reduced scale.
今でも、コロナの関係で。。。小規模でやっています
Last weekend and this weekend there were all kinds of shops for: fresh or dried flowers, artisan knives, moringa, raw honey, microgreens (organic sprouts) raw spirulina, specialty spices (juniper berry, black cumin and more!) , peach/nectarines, specialty grapes, various veggies, and spicy condiments.
いろんなお店があったけど、飲食店はやっぱりコロナの関係で出店してましせんでした。
I bought a new vegetable (the farmer told me that, quick frankly, it's a weed!) called "purslane" - do you know it? Packed with Omega-3s and a bit tannic tasting...I am still undecided on my verdit with this one! (I blanched it, tossed it together with soy sauce, black sesame paste, and bonito flakes)。
ここで"スベリヒユ"(やプルピエ) を初めて知った。 雑草です！ でもとても体にいい、オメガ３たっぷり。 少し苦味があるの。 カツオと醤油でおひたしにしました。
I got some Mexican tea leaf...wondering how I will use that..mmm, v..excited to use it.
メキシコのハーブを買ってみた。。。まだ使え方はっきりわからないですが楽しみ！
Aoyama Farmer's Market, back in a smaller scale now. Please tell your friends!
ぜひシェアしてください！
http://farmersmarkets.jp/
Now, more than ever, you should support small-scaled farmers and businesses.
今まで以上に、ファーマーズマーケットはみんなのサポートが必要です！
Also.....I ran into this quaint bread shop.......and liked the bread selection, very close to the Aoyama Farmer's Market
そして。。。帰りに、この素敵なパンやを発見しました！
They use Hokkaido flour and a lot of the breads have whole wheat or grains in it, kinda healthier.
材料にこだわっているお店なので、安心に食べられる！ 全粒粉入りパンも多くて、健康的な感じ！
Small food businesses are closing left and right. Please support the "small" guys!!!
個人の飲食店。。。次から次へ、倒産している。。。 小さいお店をサポートしましょう！
被災現場の人吉市で見てきたこと そして 私たちにできること
2020年7月3日から降り続いた局地的な豪雨によって熊本県をはじめとした多くの地域で川が氾濫し多くの方が被災されました
館山でボランティア活動（2019年台風15号＆19号 災害）に参加していた私は、他のボランティア参加者2名とともに、館山のボランティア拠点にあった飲料や非常食、スコップなどの災害活動のための備品をワンボックスカーに積み込み、一路熊本は人吉市に向かいました
新型コロナの感染者が再び増え始めた中、熊本県をはじめとした公の機関は県外からのボランティア参加者の受け入れをしないことを決めました
そんな状況下で
私が
見てきたこと
会った人たちのこと
感じたこと
考えたこと
を皆さんにお伝えして
少しでも早く人吉をはじめとする被災地の方々が復興できること
そして、これから起こる自然災害を減らすために私たちができることを一緒に考えたいと思います
災害地レポートの後、参加者からの質問にお答えする時間を設けたいと思います
イベントページ等への事前質問も受け付けております
*新型コロナ禍でのボランティア活動については色々な考え方ご意見があると思います。
今回のイベントでこの件に関しての議論をはじめ、誹謗中傷等を目的とされる（予想される）方のご参加はご遠慮いただきます
**本イベントは8/7（金）開催のイベントと同内容の予定ですが、現地入り後の開催の場合は最新の追加情報をお届けできると思います。
◆開催日：2020年 8月 10日（月・祝） 20:00~21:30
◆参加費：1,000円
寄付：0円-10,000円
※お好きな金額をお選びください！
※寄付金は今後のボランティア活動（移動費や活動費）に使用させていただきます。
※キャンセル料が500円がかかります。
◆定員：100名
◆参加締切：8月10日（月・祝）19時まで
◆参加方法：zoom https://zoom.us/jp-jp/meetings.html
① 静かな環境・ネット通信環境・PCをご準備ください。
② その他心配なことがありましたらお気軽にご連絡ください！
参加申込者に 参加URLをお送りします
後藤 源太 プロフィール
～23年間務めた会社を2月に退社、新しい生き方にチャレンジ中！！～
外資系会社で画像診断機器の営業、営業技術＆マーケティング、人事を担当しました。
プライベートで、昨年の台風15号および19号の災害ボラティア活動に20日間以上参加しました。
そして、様々な人と出会い生き方に触れました。
ビーチクリーン作戦をした際に、海のプラごみ問題に興味を持ったのをきっかけに地球環境問題（温暖化やエネルギー問題）にも興味を持ち、自分がこれまで自分本位の生き方しかしてこなかったか、地球や自分たちが生きる環境に無頓着だったかを知りました。
もっと知りたいと思うと同時に多くの人にも知ってもらい地球を守りたいという気持ちが大きくなりました。
そんな思いが大きくなり、新しい人生を始めるべく退社を決心しました。
「自分を含む人々の幸せとサステナブル（持続可能）な世の中を実現する。」を理念に、新しい生き方働き方にチャレンジしています。
⁂今後の予定⁂
8/8（土）より熊本県人吉市でのボランティア活動に再度参加予定
今回は14歳の娘もボランティア活動に参加してくれるということで一緒に参加予定です
8月最終週まで活動予定（娘は1週間程度）です
ビビアンがボランティアしてる一方、友達は沖縄に旅行行ってた。悲しくなった
Today my friend told me this:
今日友達からのメッセージ：
ビビアンがボランティアしてる一方、友達は沖縄に旅行行ってた。悲しくなった。
”While you were out there volunteering for flood cleanup in Kumamoto, my other Kanto friends were out vacationing in Okinawa, traveling. How sad is that!"
Sad? Well, not really.
悲しい？ まあああああ。それはそうだけど。。。
During my trip...
熊本行っている間
My heart was filled so much love that it almost burst.
私の心は幸福感でいっぱいだった。溢れている！
Of course I was crushed with sadness, seeing people in despair after having lost everything
もちろん、被災者さんに会って、心は悲しみでいっぱいだった。。。
It weighed down on me and it's the feeling of having something stuck deep in your throat.
悲しくて重かった。。。喉に何かがつまっている感じ
BUT...seeing people of all regions and nationalities joining for the ONE cause of helping others get back on their feet
災害者を助けるために、いろんなの地域と国籍の人々が協力して。。。
Seeing people spend their own time and resources (and paid vacation days off work) to help others in need (some traveling quite far)
皆はボランティアする時、有休を取って、自分の時間・お金を使って、遠くまで行きました。
It was the ray of hope that I needed to see during these horrible depressing COVID days.
憂鬱日（コロナ）の中の”希望の光”
Seeing the miracles a team of motivated people could accomplish in just half a day.
半日だけで、やる気人がいると、沢山作業ができて。。。チームワークの力って。。。本当にすごいな、と思いました。キセキみたい！
I was happy to see some young volunteers
若いボランティアも何人いました
A 4th year uni student
地元の大学4年生
17歳の受験生。小さいのに。。。力強い！ 彼女は遠慮なく、英語で会話して、感動しました。 将来お医者さんになりたいと思って、ボランティア活動してみた（少し似ているから）。
Meeting a motivated young girl, only 17, but determined to go into medicine and better the lives of others. We spoke in English and I was surprised at her English level and lack of hesitation to speak.
13歳の子毎日、文句言わず、一緒にきつい作業をして。 13歳のに、よく我慢できているな！ またまた感動しました。
Meeting a 13-year old girl who dedicated weeks on end at the volunteer site. Few kids that age I know could handle such grueling work.
Grown men (survivors) crying of gratitude.
災害者。。。感謝の気持ちで泣いている。
Survivors, upon recounting the horrible experience, close to tears
辛い経験を振り返って、涙が出そうでした
Men moved to tears at the end of a long day's work of volunteering "on the front lines" (seeing the mountains of trash at the dump site and what seems to be endless cleaning awaiting)
終礼、一日の作業がおわって。。。感動したボランティアたち。。。泣きながら、感想の一言。 感情あり過ぎて。。。
Knowing there are truly good people still out there, like those I met in Kumamoto volunteering, gives me hope and the ability to look at the future with optimism毎日のニュースを見ると落ち込むですが、熊本に行って、すごく安心しました。世の中にまだまだいい人沢山います。 明るい未来へ！
It was hot or rainy every day 毎日雨やすごい蒸し暑いでした
The smell indescribable...I cannot put it into words, really (I have never been in a sewer but imagine it's close!)...invasive mushrooms growing wildly around the house匂いは。。。言葉で説明できないぐらい大変。。。キノコあちこち生えている
The mildew and mold penetrating each pore of our body.カビは。。。自分の毛穴にしみこんでいる
Everyone put up with it, no one complained.皆は我慢して、文句を言わず
We knew better than that. それはそう！
When people around you have lose their homes, all else becomes quite secondary.すべてを失った人を見ると、自分は。。。どんな辛くても、何も言えない
We forget how lucky we are to have a roof over our heard.”住むところがある”は当たり前と思っている
We take having a fridge for granted冷蔵庫がある。。。それも当たり前
This week I am working at two elite private schools...it's my big chance to spread the word of volunteerism and ask them questions they have never asked of themselves.私は今週、英語の教師として、二つの私立学校に行って、ボランティア活動を教えたい、伝えたいと思いっています。
Soon I'll go back to teaching at the university and be able to spread the story and foster the spirit of volunteerism.9月、大学に戻る時。。。また熊本の話を教えたいと思っています。ボランティア活動を促進したい！
Volunteerism may not be part of "Japanese culture" but I think this is slowly changing. ボランティア活動は。。。日本の文化じゃないかもしらないですが、少しずつ変わっています。
All the girls at the girls JHS I worked at mentioned they would like to donate or volunteer to help SDG initiatives.SDGsの目標達成のために、寄付したい、ボランティアしたい。。。とクラスの全員が言っていました。
So, my friend, I did not go to Okinawa, but I can go to Okinawa at ANYTIME! (and I have been before...there and the rest of the world) Now the people in Kumamoto need our help and support...it can't really wait. (the conditions get worse by the day...as of today, a month has passed)沖縄に行っていないですが、沖縄はいつでも行ける。（いったことあるし！世界も回ったし）でも。。。今は熊本の人は私たちのサポートが必要です。
No vacation can heal the soul as a trip volunteering can.
旅行より。。。ボランティアをすると心を癒す
I did get to enjoy the natural foot hot spring at the airport...
鹿児島空港の足温泉を満喫した
I came back feeling grateful for a husband who could manage our house (and tween!) for over 6 days without me.
私は6日いなくても、家はよく管理されていまして、娘も大丈夫そう。旦那に感謝！
We can pursue things that do not matter much in our lives and be left empty and unhappy inside.
私たちは人生の表面的な物質的なものを追いかけることができます。。。 心は空っぽになるけど。
Or put energy into things that will contribute to society and add meaning to our own lives
それとも。。。社会に貢献して、人生に意味を増やせる
Few times have I ever felt so physically and emotionally drained, but...
肉体的にも精神的にも。。。限界に近いですが
We all felt more alive than ever.
これまで以上に生き生きと感じる!
結婚って、大変ですね。。。 国際結婚はもっと大変です
今英語だけでごめんなさい、時間がある時、日本語に翻訳します
Many foreign male friends of mine confide in me, saying their life with their Japanese wife is miserable.
Usually the story plays out like this.
They fall in love with a wonderful Japanese woman. They marry...then they have kids.
Once they have kids, it is all over.
The relationship evolves from wonderful marriage to...a cold and emotionless one.
The couple stops sharing a bed, there is no hugging kissing or touching and definitely little to no action happening in the bedroom.
Usually the guy still loves his wife or is trying very hard to make things work out. (so he resists cheating but, at the same time, suffers silently)
Sometimes the guy no longer loves his wife, a woman who went from loving wife to hostile attacker and critic of anything and everything he does.
After kids are in the picture, the man knows divorce is not really an option.
Being rejected and being given the cold should treatment from the wife puts the man in a very lonely place. He feels isolated and cannot talk about this problem with anyone...it's not really up for discussion here, in Japan (even though it is the typical pattern)
There are men who are lucky to have fantastic J-partners but I must say, they seem to be the minority. The men who have just married and have yet to have kids always think they are the exception, only to find out years later, that they are just another statistic.
A man reached out to our group and I posted this advice and many seemed to find it insightful. I am posting it here, for anyone who might be silently suffering.
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
Marriage is hard. International marriage...infinitely harder!
There is a book, "5 languages of love" - the way foreigners and Japanese express their affection is VERY different. Might you be missing her signs of affection? Unrelated to this but there is an interesting newish buzzword, "sotsukon" - you should look it up. It sounds like she has "graduated" from the former relationship you had.
How is the relationship between her parents...kids model what they see. Sleeping in different beds here is not that unusual. Less affection, touch is also not unusual...usually after kids are born and it is too late to bail out of the relationship. Sadly, it leaves some partners craving more and feeling quite alone in the marriage. Is she aware of your feelings?
I know foreign men AND women with such frustrations w/their J partners. Usually the same old story...it's indeed sad. I also heard that some partners are very passive aggressive and are unforgiving of past fights/actions...it builds up and leads to a very toxic relationship. Stone-walling is a killer in all marriages. If she is doing this, it will be very hard to make any progress. Counseling will not help much if she is unwilling to open up. Some men/women work it out in the end, some suffer in silence, some get "relief" elsewhere. The usual pattern I have seen is: the partner craving more always suffers while the other partner is often either oblivious to the situation or very satisfied w/the status quo.
You need to take action before this takes a toll on YOUR self-confidence and pride. It can really tear people up inside and make them feel rejected, undesired and ugly. This, over time, can really wear one down or make one vulnerable to an affair, to prove their desirability. Also ask yourself the honest question - have you let yourself go over the years? Do you take care of yourself or has your beer belly grown to challenge some late-term pregnant women?
Another question to consider. Do you see yourself with her, in old age, and retirement? Do you enjoy talking with her? Do you at least have an emotional connection still? Are there topics you can discuss other than your kids? Do you celebrate your anniversary and each others' birthdays? Though there is no "action" in bed, does she at least give you massages if you are sore or show any physical affection? Can you still laugh together and look out for one another, be considerate of each other's needs? If the answer to those questions are "No" - either you move on and risk losing your kids to her (shared custody is rare here) or you put up with it until the kids are old enough and pick up some distractions (hobbies, clubs, sports, other interests...not promoting the idea of a fling here!) to keep you busy and help you release some um, pent up "frustration" :P
Joining some social network support groups sounds wonderful but if you want guaranteed privacy or are embarrassed by the situation (or afraid some friends are IN the group), it might be a tough choice.
Some stay together b/c of financial reasons. Some stay b/c to keep up appearances. Some have an open relationship. These are not the most ideal situations but better than a full out divorce. Japanese-Japanese marriages...usually they just put up with each other. Too much trouble to go through a divorce and they want what is best for the kids. Single moms risk being stigmatized - they will do anything but become a single mom. For some women, they stay for financial reasons - single mothers are also poor ones.
This also happens in marriages involving Japanese men/women married to other Japanese men/women (i.e. not international relationships!) The MAIN difference is difference of acceptance. They accept it as the norm and accept it as a gradual change in the marriage. Some women are quite glad when men get their physical needs taken care of elsewhere, even if it's the red-light industry area. Some women have told me they had enough sex to last a lifetime so they were through with it. Many women told me they did not want to bother w/it anymore and the risk of pregnancy really killed any romance. Some women complained of energetic J husbands requiring it every night and they were exhausted. On the flip-side, some J women were married to men who lost their libido so they went elsewhere looking for romance to boost their self-esteem and satisfy sexual needs. Those who are deprived (and do not look outside of the marriage for relief) have a hungry look in their eyes...a look of desperation - your case is far more common than you think.
I don't know if any of this helps console you or gives you some ideas on how to "fix" it. It is so sweet that you are still in love with her, after all these years and after having endured so much coldness and rejection. You are definitely not alone so there is no need to feel ashamed. Do what you can and if all fails, move on? No need to beat a dead horse... (though your kids would be the ultimate victims and most likely she will turn them against you)
熊本に行きます
是非、シェアをしてください！
The group, "Tsunagari," helping with Kumamoto flood relief is still looking for
a) volunteers
b) donations of goods (see list down below)
c) monetary donations
From their homepage:
災害発生から7日経った今も現地は酷い状況で復旧もなかなか進んでいません。
Seven days after the disaster, the situation is still severe and the recovery is limited.
本日は高齢者や独居の方などのご自宅に泥出しや被災した家具出しを行い、沢山届き始めた物資の配布を行いました。
Today, we removed mud and damaged furniture from the homes of the elderly and those living alone, and distributed a large number of supplies that have started to arrive.
物資配布をして気がついたのが、子供用のマスクがないことでした。
When supplies were distributed, it was found that there are no masks for children., I realized that I didn't have a mask for children.
物資一覧追記 It has been added to the list of things still required.
現在ボランティアさん大募集！
Currently still recruiting relief volunteers!
ボランティア受け入れ体制はしっかり整っております！
The volunteer registration is in place.(see below)
少しでも早く復旧に近づけるため
We hope to make the recovery as swift as possible
皆様のご協力よろしくお願いいたします！
Thanks for your cooperation
⭐️TSUNAGARI人吉拠点 Tsunagari on-site in Hitoyoshi (affected area)
〒868-0011
熊本県人吉市宝来町1343-6
ファミリーホールすみれ内 裏駐車場
【※大被災された葬儀場ですお静かに。沢山のご遺族が参られます。】
⭐️物資送り先 (address where you should send donations of items)
〒868-0011
熊本県人吉市宝来町1343-6
Kumamoto prefecture
Horaimachi 1343-6
Hitoyoshi city
Sumire Hall (behind)
Tsunagari headquarters
すみれホール裏TSUNAGARI拠点
Phone: 090-2522-6549 源太 Kenta
〒886-0003
宮崎県小林市堤3025-1
Miyazaki prefecture, Kobayashi city 3025-1
Seven Eleven Kobayashi Kamitsutsumicho shop
セブンイレブン小林上堤店
TSUNAGARI宮崎 野辺様
Tsunagari Miyazaki Nobe-sama
Telephone: 080-6431-8132
〒861-5343
熊本市西区河内町野出243-1
Kumamoto city
Nishi Ward
Kawachimachi Noide 243-1
ヤサカ電機㈱ 林様
Yasaka electronics, Mr. Hayashi
Telephone: 090-3071-5144
※記載した物資のみお送りください。
Please only send the items listed.
※今までご配送頂いた物資は届き次第の使用配布します。
Everything donated will be distributed as soon as they arrive!
【募集物資】Donation wish list:
・軽ダンプ3台 Light tarps オートマ
［中嶌様、竹本様、黒潮菅原様］支援決定
・2tダンプ a 2-ton dump truck
［中嶌様、竹本様、黒潮菅原様］支援決定
・ユンボ Shovel cars
［鹿児島チーム］支援決定
・スクレーパー Scrapers
・スポーツドリンク、麦茶、野菜ジュース Sports drink, barley tea, vegetable juice
・スコップ（剣・角）Shovels
・扇風機 Standing fans
・ライト（ヘッドライト、置き型、マグネットタイプ等）Flashlights, head lights, lamps
・土嚢袋 Sandbags (decorated, if you wish)
・高圧洗浄機 High pressure water washing tool
・コードリール、ドラム Cord reels and drums
・カップ焼そば・カップ麺 Cup noodles, yakisoba
・バール、てみ Big dustpan、（水害活動備品）
・ホワイトボード Whiteboards
・長靴（男女）Men and women's rubber boots
・靴（男女）・サンダル（男女）Men and women:s shoes, sandals
・お米 Rice
・ワンボックスカー Light vehicle cars (many were washed away)
●発電機 Generator
●水中ポンプ Underwater pump
●マスク（子供、女性用）Children's and women's
●缶詰 Canned items
●レトルト食品 Instant retort pack foods
●ご飯 Rice
※随時募集の物は変わります。This wish list changes regularly. (If you are unsure, please call the office to confirm for big purchases)
Those affected by floods have lost EVERYTHING on the first floor of their home.
※被災された方は一階部分の物全てが無くなっています。
Whatever you have/need in your home, they are now in dire need of.
皆様がご自宅でお使いの必要な物全てが、被災者の必要な物でもあります。
If you buy 100-200 units of one item, we are happy to distribute that.
一つの種類を100.200単位ででのご支援でしたら配布が可能です。
⭐️交通 送迎 Pickup of volunteers (details)
鹿児島空港から 高速バスで人吉インターまで来ていただければ送迎いたします。If you arrive at the Hitoyoshi Interchange, just call and they can pick you up (please arrive around 5 to 7pm)
鹿児島空港からもタイミングが合えば宮崎支部長が送迎可能です。If you come from KOJ (Kagoshima airport) and the timing is okay, someone might be able to pick you up. You should contact them w/your details in advance.
080-6431-8132 野辺 Call Nobe-san
⭐️ボランティア募集 If you volunteer:
・宿泊無料 free place to stay (bring your pillow, blanket)
・駐車場無料 free parking
・軽食無料 free light meals
・長期ボランティアスタッフ手当有
コロナ対策を万全にし COVID test for long-term volunteers
The victims of the disaster even want those from out of the prefecture to help, especially those living alone, female residents, and the elderly.
被災者宅で県外の人でも助けて欲しい独居の方や老人や女性宅に対応。
抗体検査も受けてます。There are also testing for COVID antibodies.
To prevent spread of disease, usage of masks and physical distancing will be in practice.
検温、マスクと除菌と人との距離を保ちます。
●ボランティア参加 If you want to join as a volunteer, sign up at this link below. Details are in Japanese so get a friend to help you if you need it.
下記のリンクより申し込みお願いいたします。This is the link (only in Japanese, sorry)
https://www.sumarep.com/events/1172/event_bookings/new
各自ボランティア保険に入って来てください。
Please sign up for volunteer insurance prior to coming (at your local welfare center)
※体調の優れない方はご遠慮ください。
If you feel bad, DO NOT COME!
※汚れてもいい服装※踏み抜き防止インソール
8:15受付 Daily registration time for that day's work
090-2522-6549 源太 Kenta
080-8219-0311 つながり事務局 Tsunagari office
090-9222-2229 勝又 Katsumata
●支援金 Monetary donation information
http://tsunagari-project.com/donate/ (more details here)
Bank account information:【活動支援金口座】
仙台銀行（センダイギンコウ） Sendai bank (sendai ginko)
Branch # 歌津支店 405
Account number 普通 3112221
Organization name一般社団法人震災復興支援協会 つながり
(イッパンシャダンホウジンシンサイフッコウシエンキョウカイツナガリ