Okay so I'm hella pissed right now.
I am not at this small church gathering, a fellowship to be exact.
I'm hella pissed. I'm dying to cry actually.
So the guy sitting across me gas completely ruined my mood. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive. And I know that I am.
I envisage a scene whereby I'm crushing this guy's head, tearing his limbs apart.
I'm trying really hard to calm down, and I'm not doing so well at it. I tend to keep hella quiet when I'm upset, which is bad. Really bad. Because it's too obvious. The change in attitudes has actually triggered others' curiosity. They went "eh why r u quiet?"
Well this bastard sitting across me is being a dick. That or I'm being a sensitive ass. Either way, I don't care. So I couldn't answer a question that was asked earliet, as a result I began to stutter, looking nervous. Then this guy opened his mouth, jokingly said "Maybe because her brain is lagging, she needs more food to quicken her thinking process." Well, what the hell.
Notice that I said, jokingly. Which I know he was. This caused an impetuous temperament to grow inside of me. So, shit. Overall I'm being too sensitive, yet I couldn't help it. I could feel my blood rising up to my head, my eyes began to death glare him (he didn't notice though, good)
But was it necessary, to say that I'm lagging? I was being awkward because I just met some of these people. i didn't know how to react, and I was afraid of making wrong, unnecessary actions.
Therefore, after what he said, I grew quiet, suspicion showed up. Dev, kept on asking me if I'm okay. She almost knows me too well. Maybe I should start to fix that, I don't want her to be too familiar to me more that she already has. (I'm sorry to say this, but I'm very frustrated) I did want to tell her, but I went home first. She's still at that place as I speak, playing some cards.
Sometimes, I really wish that I could be her. She can draw, has a boyfriend, pretty (technically she's the beautiful version of me, so there's that), gorgeous nails, able to sing and play a few musical instruments, and the list is endless. On top of that, she speaks well and knowledgeable. I can't help but start to compare myself with her whenever we stand by next to each other. I'm happy that she's my good friend nevertheless.
Am I being too sensitive? I feel that I am.