For some reasons I'm pissed.
It's Saturday and I have a class.
I'm having it as I speak.
6 hours class today, and I'm not going to lie but I feel like today is gonna jinx. At least for the next 6-7 hours from now.
It must be a bad habit of mine to be rather competitive. I'd start hating on people who are better in me, resulting in self-loathing. Incessantly asking myself what's lacking.
For some reasons the world is always ahead of me, the people are always better in so many way. When I've reached to a certain level, it seems to be too late. Thus I begin to glare, to hate, to mutter vulgarities.
At this moment, my teacher is showing our answers and I'm not paying a single attention at all. What's the poing? I know how I did. How I've stumbled and fell.
Despite that, I knew what I should have done. I could have studied earlier, stopped my procrastination asap. Yet, no. I turned my back away and continued anyway. And so I'm blaming myself. Because who else is there to blame? It was my fault for being like this, for being so easy to be tricked, lazy, easily persuaded.
It's been 3 weeks and I need to get my shit together.
I'm planning to slash everyone here.
At least for this semester.
(I'm really angry at this moment so one of these days I'd be surprised at myself)