(@￣ρ￣@)ｚｚｚｚ

its almost 5am over here ZZzz....
dilven's talking to james on the phone so i woke up cause im a light sleeper
my eyes basically close by themselves right now

im so hungry (ﾉ_･｡)
i want curry croquettes.......

got work today later on

the concert for dir en grey's on wednesday
i kinda sorta dont wanna go as much as i used to before
personally i wish it were a different band really
i really would love it to be d'espairsray or ayabie or i dont know!
(sigh) i dont know why i think that....
maybe cause this would be my fifth time seeing them?

mac's are weird

so i kinda feel like shit right now.....
my head hurts and people keep saying im cute when i'm not
i miss kai badly.....
probably more than i ever had since i met him....
i hate this shit.....
i think what im gonna do is save a shit load of money and quit my job then go there for like two months and stay with him....
wanna see him so bad....

sweet dreams are made ideas

last night i had a really weird dream (°∀°)'
no seriously....
apparently taka and the guys had finally come to tour in the states and i was hanging out with them
yu, akira and yuke were sleeping (°∀°)
taka, kouyou and me were hanging out.....
the weirder part is that kouyou was playing with my hair (°∀°)'
he didnt want me to move....
so weird......
it was almost like he was hitting on me but i was kinda like wtf are you doing? (°∀°)'
i have weird dreams....

pi

i still feel like crap..
didnt go for a walk like i wanted to cause im scared i may faint in the street from exhaustion
going to take medicine before i go to sleep tonight
hopefully that helps for tomorrow

ka

i feel really faint right now
not good at all
i ate something

in the mean time
my stepfather is a dickhead
i was practicing vocals cause since i havent been and on top of that im sick
im a bit off tune

..... he was being a real dick about it
he always is
i dont get why he has to try to put down ppl to feel good about himself
i know i dont sing bad
hell someone that is vocally trained told me i just needed more practice that's all
fucking jerk
he cant even sing a note right himself what the fuck is he talking about

im getting sicker now which i dont want and i wish he'd just wasnt here right now
i think sick and all how i am i think i may go out
i cant take this kinda shit all the time
as it is im upset that i dont think i'll be able to go to japan and try to see kai for my birthday

p.s. sorry for the rant. also i dont normally talk of private life....