booboo~

haha.

hmm actually i've thought about those things too, but i believe that God wants our household saved too and we represent the first glimpse of light in our home. let us pray and have a confident expectation of good that Jesus will bring to us because nothing is too big for him and nothing about us is too small to earn his concern for =)

actually its your heart that matters to me. i don't want you to feel obligated to come down to visit me because i wont be happy if thats the case. a strong relationship is built upon the heart, not the minds nor the acts, for those are the product and not the cause.

when you're happy, bored, upset, angry, it's all written on your face as well as your behaviors. i know you're the stubborn and impatient kind. i'm like that too. but i guess as we grow up we'll learn to accept things that we cannot change and move on in life. its what the japanese called 'shouganai'. no amount of tantrum or unhappiness can change any fact, for we are no longer children, but we can think of ways to work within our strength and limits for the betterment of the future =)

when i say that i felt condemned, it is because i'm not able to perform the role of a good bf fully and im not happy that things doesnt work out the way i thought it could. and when i say i felt frustrated, it is not due to anyone but by the fact that i felt so unlucky and useless at not being able to do the things i used to be very good at. running was one of my strength, but now i could not even walk much around the shopping malls.

someday i will want to have a good mac pro with a good dslr camera to take all the nice nice photos of everything as well as all the best entertainment device and designer furniture at home to really decorate up my home and to make it a super conducive place for quiet time and to even hold cg =D

Boo~

Eeee where did you get the moving heart? O.o

Haha anyway Amen to what you've said in your previous post :)

Anyway I also didn't expect myself to believe let alone accept Christ when it was something that I was quite resistant to initially (due to family influence and first hand experience at how Christianity was used as a tool to hurt and accuse others during my ah gong's wake last year).

Sad to say, maybe it's thinking too far but whenever I try to imagine how our wedding will be like (Christian-style solemnization or Chinese wedding dinner?) I can already foresee difficulties - I seriously don't dare to let my parents know I'm born again (I believe God saw this concern in my heart and that was why He dropped me signs to tell me I wasn't ready for the water baptism that time) much less hope for family salvation. But I'm sure we'll overcome that. :)

And to be frank, it's tiring at times (which I'm sure you also know) to have to travel all the way down to Woodlands to visit you and back, but I guess that's the least I can do to show support/care/concern for the you who're sick?

I admit I do feel bored at times when the things we can do is limited by your health (it's only human nature to have these feelings) but it's ok - please don't feel condemned, because you didn't ask to fall sick, so all you should focus on now is continue to trust in God for your health and healing Amen :)

I can't say I understand exactly your frustrations at your persistent illness, pressure at your sister's grumbles and displeasure for having to support the family and pay for any other unexpected expenses but it's ok dear because you're so much blessed that God will exceed all your needs and wants as nothing is impossible with Him.

Know that you deserve nothing but the best that Daddy can and will provide including abundant health, wealth and success ok? *hugs*

Rest & Reign!

haha my heart can move one lol

hmm you didn't really type much but it's good to know what you're feeling and going through. =)

we all learn and grow in Christ and it's a process that the more we walk with him, the more we're transformed by his spirit. i too went through many ups and downs in my walk with Him and it is Him who taught me the many things in life which i then tell you. i'm nothing without Christ =).

there're so much that we can learn from God and all that matters is a receptive heart of ours to listen and to receive. i too faced many battle to tell myself to attend cg and church in the midst of my busy schedule and indeed everytime when i attend i learned something new and great. it's our nature to always put the tangible things as our priority and forgetting about the power of Jesus and that is why quiet time and constant fellowship with him at every moment is so important. i just wanna let you know that you're facing what every christian is facing and so don't feel condemned but instead strive to become better and grow up in Him. =)

actually i didn't really expect or dare to hope that you'll accept Christ, especially after you got agitated after i brought you to church for the first time but it appears that God has got everything under His plan =)

hmm actually i'll only keep quiet when i sense that you're not happy/angry with me or when i'm not feeling that well and don't really feel like talking much. i've never found you ignorant/shallow/boring and etc but i've always have this unease that i could accidentally do something wrong to make you angry/unhappy. i don't like making people upset and you're the last i hope to cause that. i used to have an uneasy pressure whenever i meet you in the past cause i'm very very scared of your moodswing but you've turned the better and i hope that you'll rid yourself of that someday =)

on another note, sometimes i felt condemned myself that i've not been well after such a long period of time and due to that i could not do many things to make you happier, things like shopping, movie, going to the beach, going abroad or etc. because of my health now i've got no mood for those and sometimes i find myself so useless. i've got to make you come all the way down to meet me and etc and i'm scared that someday you'll xian qi me. maybe because i'm not feeling well sometimes that i get frustrated myself and may sound not so nice with my words. i really really hope that i could recover soon so that i could even go out in the sun and play soccer once more instead of being labelled by the army as trying to skive and wanna skip reservist =(

i'm very happy nonetheless that you've come to my place almost everyday after i was discharged from the hospital to visit me and 2010 first quarter will be the time i receive my 100 fold of healing from Jesus! =)

last but not least, i will say this again to you, that i'm looking for someone who love me for who i'm and will not leave me or get angry/mad at me for my mistakes because im also an imperfect human. it's your heart that i care =)

those who dwell in the Lord will not remain boring/ignorant/shallow but will be full of life and will be wise... and 2010 will be the year where we will rest and reign in life! =))

2010

Hello dearie! ♥

I bet you'd come check this blog sooner or later because I asked you for the login details haha!

Anyway, just felt really inspired to blog (after a super long hiatus) after CG yesterday. You know how I always complain about how sian it is to go for CG and all but God never fails to blow me away with His words every time I finally convince myself into going (whether willingly or not).

There was a period last year (while you were away) that I stayed away from CG for a long time after turning up only for the first time - I made up all sorts of excuses for myself: I was too busy/tired/lazy, felt too lonely/out of place without really knowing anyone, I didn't like the sharing etc. I guess the truth was I didn't really know where my priorities lie? And then until one Sunday five months after I attended that first CG when I ran into a CG mate who invited me to go back.

I went, and the awkwardness remained, but everyone was nice as before. I guess the sad truth was that I never bothered to make the effort. But anyway, I'm always glad that I went for CG, so in this brand new year one of my resolutions would be to attend CG more often to soak up God's words! I really want a closer r/s with Him, and to have more faith in His mightiness. Tell me you'd go on that walk with me and to teach me more about our lovely Heavenly Father? :)

Anyway I don't know why I launched into that lengthy passage above when my initial intention was only to tell you how much I appreciate you. ♥♥♥ :):):):)

I'm not sure if those appreciative feelings show in my actions/words towards you, but all the same, it'd be nice to hear such things spoken once in a while? As I was rearranging my room on Friday, I came across a couple of the letters/cards you wrote me along the way. They made me cry a little, not because I was touched (ok la I was but that wasn't the main emotion that took center stage at that time), but because looking back I realised what an awful gf I was. Throwing tantrums/giving you the cold shoulder for no apparent reason when we got together in Japan in 2007 and all the way into 2008. Hurting your feelings, bruising your ego etc, when you don't deserve any of those. I was so wilful, and I think that was partly the reason my ex left me?

But along the way, you chose to hold on, when there must be so many times when it must have been so much easier for you to let go instead. I'm so sorry for all the hurts I've dwelt you those days, no matter verbally, emotionally or mentally. I hope I've changed for the better since then. No doubt I'll still have my episodes now and again, but perhaps they're getting lesser and fewer in between (only you can tell me that because 旁观者清)?

There's so much in me that I can't entirely put into words, but I want to thank you - for having the faith in me, in us, bringing me to church, introducing me to God, teaching me about life etc. I never knew I could learn so much from someone. You know how when I told you on our second anniv that I felt you've changed to be more caring and all? I think that was because Daddy has finally opened my eyes to the gem that's right in front of me the whole time (besides Him of course!)...I believe you're the one Daddy has singled out for me Amen.

I hope that we will continue to walk together, hand in hand for the rest of our lives, facing whatever problems that may come our way. :) Sometimes I'll still feel those hateful doubts snaking up on me during periods of silence when we're together (you'll prolly tell me it's because you're not the talkative sort), but I hope that you'll hold my hand and allay my fears during those times (ok I know you may not have the power to see into my mind to tell what I'm thinking so I'm telling you now), and to tell me it's not because you find me boring, shallow, ignorant etc okay?

Can't believe I actually typed so much (haha can't help it but there are really a lot of things bursting to come out and I can frankly say this is the first time I feel so 'anointed' to share so much) but the main point is that I love you, will always do, and as much as being so open makes me feel really vulnerable, I just want to let you know how I feel k. :)

Anyway, let 2010 be another dektos year and let us labour into His rest Amen!

Hugs and kisses,
Ling.

 

oinks

haha saw this in proverbs 31. and i think nothing explains and describes better than the bible =)

A Wife of Noble Character
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.

Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes.

She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. 
Her husband is well known at the city gates, 
where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.

Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: 
 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

Loves ~♥

Hello dear!

Realised this blog's been rotting so here I am :) To risk sounding cliche, it's been 2 mths since you're back, and time really flies! Haha.. o.O

Anyway, I just want you to know how happy I felt over the long wkend spending such enjoyable times with you. And the things that made me the happiest were the fact that you picked me up at YCK station on Sat and sent me back (ok, halfway back at least hehe) on Mon....

Actutally I'm a simple girl, and it's simple things like this that give me joy and a sense of being loved =) Maybe to you it was nothing, but it meant the world to me...so I'd just like you to know how I feel. I didn't think it's possible, but I just keep on feeling increasingly happier as the days go by. I've seen a change in you since you came back from Japan - you've become more loving and caring, and thank you for that. Indeed in Christ shall everything consist and coexist in harmony Amen!

No matter what the future holds, I'm happy that you're right beside me walking this journey with me now...I know this is a tough and tiring week for you, but please hang in there, as the end is near =D Do know that you've my support all the way k muacks!

Jiayou and cya soon! (*^-^*)

我的心

有些时候真希望你能够控制你的脾气,
不要说或做出一些伤感的事.

我希望我的女人会一直的在我身旁支持我,
不单只是在着,
而是也用心灵支持着.

希望那一种支持不会轻易地转变,
不会时好时坏,
不会轻易的让我对那一份支持的信心动摇.

有多少次你忽然变得像陌生人似的,
就连身旁的路人甲都用奇妙的眼神看着我们.
我身为一个男人的尊严也在瞬时间被你丢了.

两个人在一起就需要体谅,包容,忍耐,了解.
动不动就耍孩子脾气,
动不动就不理不睬人,
是一种完全不尊重他人的作为,
也是件让人伤心到底的方法.
有多少次我以为你就会永远的离开我...

作为人最重要的品质就是谦虚
而一个谦虚的人会聆听,会冷静的思考,会理解他人的言行举止,
并试着体会和感受.
若有自己的意见就客气与尊重的向他人解释.
那么就把误解化小,小事化无,
最终两方都开心,两方也得意.

若一个人自尊心好胜不愿低头,
无论什么情况下都坚持自己是对的不愿聆听与了解,
因自尊而愿意用话语和行动伤害他人的心意,
气消了才发现一切已经太迟了.
那么最后吃亏的终究是自己.

伤人容易乐人难.
希望你会把眼光放大放远,
不会为一点小事而看不开,
也不会随意下定论.

('-^*)/

想你。

分开的第197天，

想你的心情丝毫没变，

漂浮着的思念，

每当想起你时，

幸福会对我绽放笑脸。

Missing you bb!

Come back soon k! =)))

Piglet o.O

Booo I don't wanna grow old don't want don't want!

Hahaha. Hope you can get your air ticket and luggage settled quickly then you can wait hopefully to come japan! =)

My scholarship's finally arrived. Will get out to explore more of Tokyo so that i can bring you and my mum and sis to better places to make the trip more worthwhile.

No chance to get out of Tokyo, so I will get to know Tokyo inside out. Muahahahah XDD

Anyway, what's "私は行くまでに会います"? O.O I will meet until I go?

*hugs hugs*


(o^-')b

Another year older! O.o

Hey dear,

HAPPY 23rd BDAY in advance!!!

Waa my BB growing another year older le hehe.

I bet this bday's a special one - since you're spending it abroad!

And what makes it even more special's that we'll be celebrating it when I go over to visit you! Whee!!

Haha I seriously can't wait - looking so forward to seeing my dearest.

And thanks for making me feel so loved k (^-^)v

Anyway, 誕生日は楽に過ごしてください！
私は行くまでに会います！

XOXO

Love love~ =)