Since June, I joined CGP. Actually, the project just started since May this year. And members are all volunteers. Even though there are founders of the project our group's concept is the project is owned by everyone. I was able to be organizer for one event for this project. Actually for every event there is different organizer.
But recently there is a problem in our group and our Japanese leader finally pointed it out for us. The problem is that even organizers themselves dont feel excited for the event because there is no new idea for every event, and the event happens frequently. So, the solution for this is to reduce frequency of activities in a year but when the event occurs it will be exciting because we will only do event if we have new and interesting idea.
We pick up trash. But as pointed out by the leader it's not just that; we educate people.
Last year, I experienced for the first time being taken in by a Japanese family.
I was friends with their children. But we had to be apart from one another for a year as I had to stay in Cebu for college. During the time I was away, I often thought of them. The mother had said previously in text that she wished to meet and talk with me. So I was in wonderment when an email was sent to me inviting me to come to their house.
The family received me very warmly, and I could get very interesting insights. When I got it, I thought, "Oh! This is Japanese culture!" But I will focus on "seeing off someone" today.
In my previous expereinces in Filipino setting, I usually don't get to be "seen off". But if they did, thy only do it until the door or gate of their house.
But, the seeing off I experienced with the Japanese family was so different. Instead of ending the scene at their house, the family walked with me to the company gate which is far from their house (they live in a house for a Japanese employee's family, which is owned by the company). We talked while we walked at a leisurely pace. Finally, it was time for me to go, and we exchanged goodbye greetings again. But the family stood still and smiled as they waved goodbye to me until I was hardly seen.
Actually, 2 days from tht day was already their flight to Japan. We have never met again after that time, and they have never returned to the Philippines yet. But we could contact one another because of Facebook. Right now, we just "like" each other's facebook posts.
Indeed, it was my first time to meet and talk with them after a year, come in their house, and experience the last which which I call "to be seen off by a Japanese family." But even so, those are not the reasons I enjoyed that time.
There was something definitely way beyond that.
What is it, and what is the cause of it?
By the way, later on, I learned from my teacher friend that he had told the mother that I like her son.
There are big events happening in my university. It's called "Intramurals week".
I like this. I will use my free time to write some things.
Actually, I still think until now why some of my relationships with other people don't work well.
I particularly mind about my relationships with the Japanese.
Why don't they work welll?
Is it because of miscommunication? But even so, if they really want to be with me, that doesn't matter, right? Or it could be I don't really want to be with them.
A year ago, I started to change my life little by little.
I feel that change, and other people feel it too.
Not so long time ago, a stranger who sat next to me offered me a cool candy for my cough.
But I refused it. All I thought was my cough must have been very annoying. I thought I was angry at the person. But deep inside I was actually sad about myself.
When I shared about this incident to my mother, she said like, "What the heck were you thinking!? That person shows his concern for you and he's offering help to you! You could have accepted it and be grateful!"
When I was alone, I thought about that again and cried. My wonderful mom didn't know her daughter's problem (until now, even). But she didnt know she actually already provided a solution to her daughter's problem.
I realized my problem was valuing myself. It means I need to accept myself as who I am. I have to be compassionate to myself.
This is the reason why I didn't reply to the letters of my dear friends to me. Even when I reply so, I hated what I wrote. This is also the reason I felt uncomfortable in hanging out with most of the people.
When I was a high school student, I didn't invest so much time in my relationships with other people, even my own family.
But I realize now what matters more is the quality time spent with them. In this case, it is important that I myself enjoy the activity, too.
To do that, as I have mentioned earlier, I must accept myself for who I am, and also other people. I must act natural. Be myself. That's it.
All I can do now is to correct the mistakes I remember. haha
In a relationship, honesty is always important.
Actually, I can't be sure about what other people think. So, my conclusion is just do what I like to do.
