I just wanted to be a friend.
I thought we could be good friends.
But he started saying "wife" "kids" "family" things.
I should have asked " were we that close??"
I should have said "don't go so fast"
but I wanted to take his feeling serious.
because I really appreciated to his feeling.
and listened and followed what he says.
and he now started to say that he can not take the responsibility
cos he can not feel it..
HELLOOO??
it was not me who was asking that heavy stuff.
he was the one who imagined too much too fast
and made decision by himself.
He live in only himself.
and I wanted to take his feeling very important.
and tried to respond seriously...
he started by himself and closed it down by himself.
Where was I?
I just wanted to be a friend and wanted to visit as a friend.
and it all collapsed just because he was soo excited at the first place.
and his illusion was not becoming perfect.
I did not want to be an angry women.
but it was true. the situation was really tough and stressful for both of us.
That's why I even asked to take a break for both of us.
but he refused it and tried to continue it until he became the one to give up.
HELLLLO!!
we could not see each other anyway.
and I should have insisted to take a break not to feel stressful life style
until I get PR.
But I believed the word , " Don't worry."
I should have insisted to take a break. coz I know he was sick all the time
and having stressful days all the time.
I could not be sure which way was the best. coz he was saying not to worry.
Any of his word was not true. but you know, I just wanted to belive it.
It was my fault.