過去記事
で紹介した通り、英語学習でエッセイを書いては添削してもらっています。
せっかくなので学んだことをまとめながらここでシェアしてみます
毎回課題として、
- テーマ
- エッセイタイプ
- 文字数
を指定されます。
ちなみに、基本的なエッセイは下記の３タイプ。
Expository Writing（説明型）
Descriptive Writing（記述型）
Narrative Writing（語り型）
私のレベルが低いので、今のところエッセイタイプはこの３つからのみ指定されます
記念すべき初課題は
- テーマ：What is a nuclear power plant?
- エッセイタイプ：Expository Writing（説明型）
- 単語数：over 80
（宿題）
Nuclear Power Plant
A nuclear power plant is one type of thermal power plant that uses nuclear reactors, which still has issues to be resolved, as its heat source.
The world's first nuclear power plant was put into operation in 1954. From the research stage, there have been concerns about the severe damage in a nuclear accident and how to dispose of its waste. However, they have been built in many countries as a stable, inexpensive, and decarbonized energy source against global warming. Following the 2011 Fukushima nuclear accident in Japan, the costs are going up for currently operating and new nuclear power plants along with the reassessment of severe damage and safety measures. As a result of the serious damage and the reassessment of safety measures, the perception of the nuclear power plant as a cheap energy source has been shattered.
Although nuclear power has challenges, it is one of the most important ways to produce energy.
(Word Count: 158)
（授業中に修正・指摘・提案をもらう）
Nuclear Power Plant
A nuclear power plant is one type of thermal power plant that uses nuclear reactors as its heat source, which still have has issues to be resolved. , as its heatsource.
The world's first nuclear power plant was successfully put into operation in 1954. From the research stage, there have been concerns about the severe damage that can occur during in a nuclear accident and questions/worries on how to dispose of its waste /...on waste disposal. However, many countries successfully/completely built a stable…/ it has they have been built in many countries as a stable, inexpensive, and decarbonized energy source against global warming. Following the 2011 Fukushima nuclear accident in Japan, the costs are going up for currently operating and new nuclear power plants are going up/extremely high currently along with the reassessment of severe damage and safety measures. As a result of strict compliance of safety measures of the serious damage and the reassessment of safety measures, the perception of the nuclear power plant as a cheap energy source has been shattered.
Although nuclear power has challenges, it is one of the most important ways/sources to produce energy.
この時担当してくれた先生は学生時代はBiology専攻をしていた方で、原発わかんないな〜って言いながら関連の記事をググりながら最適な言い回しを一緒に考えてくれました
あと、もっと内容を充実させて！と言われました。
IntroもBodyもConclusionも全てがシンプル過ぎ！膨らませられない！とも。
エッセイを書くような試験では250wordが目安らしく、とりあえず250を目指しましょう。とのことでした
授業後に担当の先生から改めてフィードバックがもらえます。
POINTS ACHIEVED:
- able to answer the essay question appropriately
- has used relevant ideas in her essay to explain the topic of focus
- able to follow standard structure of writing an essay POINTS FOR IMPROVEMENT: (Grammar : SVA/ preposition/ word order , Vocabulary Usage : word choice and precision, Coherence & Cohesion : consider logical order of ideas / avoid repetitions)
- needs to consider some grammatical lapses like correct placement of words, usage of preposition and so on
- needs to consider precision of word choice to convey a clear idea
- needs to practice more in expressing and arranging ideas logically
エッセイの設問に適切に答えることができた
エッセイの中で、焦点を当てたトピックを説明するために、関連するアイデアを使用した。
エッセイを書くための標準的な構成に従うことができる 改善点: (文法: SVA/前置詞/語順、語彙の使い方: 語句の選択と正確さ、一貫性と結束: アイデアの論理的順序を考慮する/繰り返しを避ける)
単語の正しい配置、前置詞の使い方など、文法的な誤りを考慮する必要がある。
明確なアイデアを伝えるために、言葉の選択の正確さを考慮する必要がある。
アイデアを論理的に表現し、並べる練習をもっとする必要がある。
（修正取り入れて書き直したのがこれ）
Nuclear Power Plant
A nuclear power plant is one type of thermal power plant that uses nuclear reactors as its heat source, which still have issues to be resolved.
The world's first nuclear power plant was successfully put into operation in 1954. From the research stage, there have been concerns about the severe damage that can occur during a nuclear accident and worries on waste disposal. However, many countries successfully/completely built a stable, inexpensive, and decarbonized energy source against global warming. Following the 2011 Fukushima nuclear accident in Japan, the costs for operating and new nuclear power plants are going extremely high currently along with the reassessment of severe damage and safety measures. As a result of strict compliance of safety measures, the perception of the nuclear power plant as a cheap energy source has been shattered.
Although nuclear power has challenges, it is one of the most important sources to produce energy.
(Word Count: 154)
----
原子力発電所
原子力発電所とは、火力発電所の一種で原子炉を熱源とする発電所のことで、いまだ解決すべき課題が残されている。
世界初の原子力発電所は1954年に運転に成功した。研究段階から、原発事故による甚大な被害や廃棄物処理への懸念があった。しかし、地球温暖化対策として、安定的で安価な脱炭素エネルギー源の建設に多くの国が成功／完成させた。2011年の福島原発事故以降、深刻な被害と安全対策の見直しに伴い、原子力発電所の運転や新設にかかるコストは非常に高くなっている。安全対策が厳格に遵守された結果、原発は安価なエネルギー源という認識は崩れた。
原子力発電には課題もあるが、最も重要なエネルギー源の一つである。
----
書き直したら単語数減ってるんだけど
（158 --> 154）
（本文中の翻訳にはDeepL（無料版）を使用しています
）