Everyday, on the way home... I find my little happiness
Just feel that he stands at the door and wait for me...
Every time I pass by his restaurant, even thought I pretend that I don't know it and just keep walking, I can feel that he is looking at me...
This feeling is hard to explain...
When you know there is someone that wants to see you every day...
When you know that someone has you in their heart...
Previous times, I knew that he was looking at me when I walked by... but it was too embarrassing for me to look at him back... So, I just pretended that I didn't notice him...
But today morning, because he opened the door (unintentionally) while I was walking by, and he looked at me directly, so I had to look at him back... and he nodded and smiled at me... In this situation, to be polite, I nodded at him too...
My heart was beating fast... and I was embarrassed even though I tried to keep my face calm and cool...
And after I passed his restaurant, I smiled happily so that people on the street looked at me...
....
I don't know....
I feel really weird in this situation...
I don't know what to do when he keeps looking at me like that whenever I pass by his store...
I don't mean it's a bad thing...
...
... Just that I feel weird...
....
.... Yeah... It's just weird...
.....
Please just stay at this level...
Don't do anything else... or I will run away...
....
....
I don't usually feel like this in this kind of situation...
It's not the first time when there is a guy doing this to me...
But other times, I stayed really calm and it didn't affect me like this...
...
The reason why I feel uncomfortable with this situation is that I feel confused about my own reaction...
My reaction this time is really unusual...
I wonder why I feel this frustrated...
It's nothing important ne...
Why do I take this so seriously?
Will I react like this if the guy is him?
It's not like that I'm happy or shy or anything...
I feel worried...
WHY WHY WHY???
I can't even understand my feeling...
....
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Is it because it's him?
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I have saw him for a long time ne... Since I moved to my place in Ikebukuro...
....
At the beginning, I noticed him right away...
I had a good impression on him...
I thought he is really cool because he is a Western food cook... and his restaurant is so cool too...
I thought that his style is good...
... Yeah... I was impressed... because he was the type of man I used to dream about... He is kinda the type of man I desired...
A year ago, I still wanted to have a man like that in my life...
....
....
But I don't know why now, when I meet a man like that in real life and he also notices me, I feel scared and worried...... even though I don't know what I'm worried about...
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Maybe because at this moment, my heart belongs to Kei-chan
I know it sounds damn stupid when I compare my idol in my fantasy world with a real man in my real life...
But..... It's just..... that........
.....
Because now, in my heart, I'm truly expected for something... and I'm waiting for it...
That's why I'm not ready for anything else...
I know my expectation is way too unreasonable and impossible, but I just can't help... Just can't get it out of my mind...
....
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OK... What will happen, will happen...
Let it happen naturally...
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