1h sáng rồi...
Buồn ngủ mà không muốn đi ngủ...
Cả ngày hôm nay là chuyện không đâu, chả học hành gì... Thiệt là nhiều lúc mình không hiểu chính bản thân mình, mà mình cũng ghét chính mình nữa...
Đầu óc cứ ở đâu đâu ah... Ai nói Ma Kết có kỷ luật tốt, chăm chỉ làm việc... Sai bét hết...
Tự nhiên dạo này cứ thấy mệt mệt trong người...
Lười...
Uể oải...
Chán...
My heart is so empty... My mind is blind...
Worries about my own life already hurt me alot...
Now, NEWS's scandals also hurt me...
N is always my happiness, my hope to see this life more colorful...
But now, N is the one that ruins my mood...
I don't blame N, just blame myself for being too sensitive and stupid...
It's my fault to love N so much and to take them as my everything...
People said "Never let anyone be your everything, because when they are gone, you will have nothing!!!!"...
Yeahh~ It's true~...
I have lived for N and rely on N too much... So that, now anything relating to N will affect me so much...
I don't know how to deal with this situation...
I know I have no reason to feel this way...
N is doing nothing wrong... They are human-beings... They have rights to live their lives, to love and have girlfriends...
I have always prepared myself for this situation... But it still hurts me... I can't tell a lie about this hurt...
At this moment, it's about T and S and it already breaks my heart like this...
I can't image that if it's K, how I will respond... I will cry for sure...
I won't be able to overcome it...
I'm not complaining about the fact that N has girlfriends... I just wonder why all the pics of them on bed comes out... Especially in S's case... S is a sensitive and careful guy... He won't get into bed with just about any girls he meets... S will just have sex with the girl he loves... And if that girl is the girl S loves, she should be a good girl... So, why and where did those pics come out?
Having sex to guys, especially Japanese guys, is a normal thing... I'm not talking about that... But having sex with the right and good girls is an important thing here... If the girls also love them truly (not to take advantage of them), she won't take pics of them and uses it to against them like that... In S's case, I'm not sure about the details of where all those pics came out, did S's cell phone get hacked or that girl sell those pics to that tabloid???!!!!!!
Here, I'm not blaming N... They are guys, and J-guys... I'm not so stupid to expect them to be still virgin... I'm 100% sure that all four of them have so many sex experiences... To be honest, I don't like that fact, but I don't mind because it can't be helped... Guys are guys at the end...
I just hope N to be more careful... They should know that they are idols and any little things about them can break thousands of heart... They can have girlfriends, they can have sex, but please don't let themselves to be caught...
If they wanna be free, please tell me offically that they have girlfriends... Then, I will give up on them and have another view of them...
And K, please take care of yourself...
If one day your scandal came out, I wouldn't know what to do...
K, do you currently have girlfriend? Just tell me... I'm strong enough to accept the truth...
Tại sao mình lại cho phép mình đi quá xa như thế? Anh chỉ là idol thôi mà... Mình thiệt là ngu ngốc...
Đã biết là sẽ không bao giờ có được anh, vậy tại sao lại vẫn cứ mơ??!!! Mình đang làm gì vậy nè...
Anh còn không biết mình là ai, mà sao mình vẫn cứ mơ...
Mình đã cho phép trí tưởng tượng của mình đi quá xa...
Sao cứ mãi nuôi cái ảo tưởng đó??!!!!
Đến bao giờ mình mới có thể thoát khỏi cái ảo tưởng vô vọng này để sống 1 cuộc sống thực tế hơn?
Mình đang chờ đợi cái gì? Mình đang hy vọng cái gì?
Những gì mình có bây giờ chỉ là những tưởng tượng của riêng mình, không có bằng chứng...
Đó chỉ là những trùng hợp ngẫu nhiên..................
Tại sao???????????
Tình trạng này sẽ còn kéo dài đến bao giờ?
Tương lai mình sẽ đi về đâu?