desperate rant
i would really like to write this in Japanese, but i'm on a sort of rebound home-rerun of beverly hills 90210, so i can't really switch from English at this moment.
and i just needed to write this. i mean, i've tried not to post anything on the internet, anything personal or meaningful (aside from twitter, that i mostly use a thought dump or squeee-casey-the-good-wife!rant dump), at least not without properly considering it first.
despite that this time i just have to. i want it to be public, because i'm an attention-whore like that. but i don't really think that anybody reads this blog, so it is also kinda private and secure in a way.
i've also come to really like this form of self-expression over the years, with diary, twitter and tumblr also. so "my little diary" just won't cut it i think.
and this way, i've learned, while you post you can really cool off and set your mind clearly on the subject, and then even just erase the whole post before publishing it. that is why right now i'm sort of putting this stream of consciousness into words - which is nice way of sorting thoughts out, - instead of sharing anything i wanted to write in the first place.
well, my rant was supposed to be about how i'm just sick of being stuck in moscow. for two years now, without going anywhere. i understand that it is my fault entirely as i am a maker of my own life and opportunities and i could easily save enough money to go somewhere this summer.
it's just that i'm seriously bad at this, at being pragmatic and smart with money. and all those years before someone would take me somewhere, and it would be wonderful.
i know a lot of people don't ever go anywhere, for one reason or the other. but i've gotten so used to going abroad that deep inside of me i took it for granted. so now i've just had enough with the city and the people, and i miss boring planes, mildly tasty plane food, the excitement of another country and different culture.
i would really like to go to Tokyo again to make up for all those days i've been hiding inside my room in the guest house not being able to pause on Queer as Folk. alas., i doubt that i would be able to go in the next 2-up-to-who-knows-how-many years without some sort of sponsor financing my trip.
i would even like to just go to Lisboa, or somewhere cheaper even, well, not cheaper but anywhere of all those places that i like. and it does seem doable, and even affordable, but i am really uncertain.
do i want to go alone? while it might be adventurous and fantastic, i don't really like to be alone in an unknown environment, and i don't do quite well alone.
what do i really want to spend my money on? i've got a lot to take care of. and i could've been smarter about it, but i grow up really slow, and not everyday, so i've just got to move on.
i want, and i need, to take a vacation in July, but i don't want to spend it here. i just wish someone would offer me to have a trip with him/her, and i would gladly agree, and everything would fall into piece - that would be great. yeah, gotta bet on that.
/daddy's girl forever
and i just needed to write this. i mean, i've tried not to post anything on the internet, anything personal or meaningful (aside from twitter, that i mostly use a thought dump or squeee-casey-the-good-wife!rant dump), at least not without properly considering it first.
despite that this time i just have to. i want it to be public, because i'm an attention-whore like that. but i don't really think that anybody reads this blog, so it is also kinda private and secure in a way.
i've also come to really like this form of self-expression over the years, with diary, twitter and tumblr also. so "my little diary" just won't cut it i think.
and this way, i've learned, while you post you can really cool off and set your mind clearly on the subject, and then even just erase the whole post before publishing it. that is why right now i'm sort of putting this stream of consciousness into words - which is nice way of sorting thoughts out, - instead of sharing anything i wanted to write in the first place.
well, my rant was supposed to be about how i'm just sick of being stuck in moscow. for two years now, without going anywhere. i understand that it is my fault entirely as i am a maker of my own life and opportunities and i could easily save enough money to go somewhere this summer.
it's just that i'm seriously bad at this, at being pragmatic and smart with money. and all those years before someone would take me somewhere, and it would be wonderful.
i know a lot of people don't ever go anywhere, for one reason or the other. but i've gotten so used to going abroad that deep inside of me i took it for granted. so now i've just had enough with the city and the people, and i miss boring planes, mildly tasty plane food, the excitement of another country and different culture.
i would really like to go to Tokyo again to make up for all those days i've been hiding inside my room in the guest house not being able to pause on Queer as Folk. alas., i doubt that i would be able to go in the next 2-up-to-who-knows-how-many years without some sort of sponsor financing my trip.
i would even like to just go to Lisboa, or somewhere cheaper even, well, not cheaper but anywhere of all those places that i like. and it does seem doable, and even affordable, but i am really uncertain.
do i want to go alone? while it might be adventurous and fantastic, i don't really like to be alone in an unknown environment, and i don't do quite well alone.
what do i really want to spend my money on? i've got a lot to take care of. and i could've been smarter about it, but i grow up really slow, and not everyday, so i've just got to move on.
i want, and i need, to take a vacation in July, but i don't want to spend it here. i just wish someone would offer me to have a trip with him/her, and i would gladly agree, and everything would fall into piece - that would be great. yeah, gotta bet on that.
/daddy's girl forever
とぅるるるるー
また全然書いてなくなった・・・。
仕事でくたくた、家で何もあまりしたくない。
でも書きたかった更新を必ず掲載するよ。
まずは、TOPSHOPで勤めるか、二ヶ月間ごとに会社に仕事で着てゆく衣類をいただく。
今回は、こんな物を選んだ：
・ダンガリーショートドレス
とってもキュートなんだね。そして動きやすくて、ウェッブサイトでこのドレスを見つかったとたん欲しくなった。
・TOPMANのモッズTshirt
なんかオバサイズの男性のTシャツがすきだから、バイクを乗ってる男前の男子も印象的だと思って、選んだ。
・チャコールデニムレギンス
うん、あまり面白くないけど、スタイリッシュだとおもい、なんか何でものトップスと着ることができると考えて選んだ。
・花バックルの薄いベルト
可愛いくて、あたしがある着るものの沢山とあわせる。
特にこのまえ買った花柄ワンピとぴったり。
なんかこれで、Black Swanをみてゆくーーー
または、好きだったストリートスナップについて更新しよう
仕事でくたくた、家で何もあまりしたくない。
でも書きたかった更新を必ず掲載するよ。
まずは、TOPSHOPで勤めるか、二ヶ月間ごとに会社に仕事で着てゆく衣類をいただく。
今回は、こんな物を選んだ：
・ダンガリーショートドレス
とってもキュートなんだね。そして動きやすくて、ウェッブサイトでこのドレスを見つかったとたん欲しくなった。
・TOPMANのモッズTshirt
なんかオバサイズの男性のTシャツがすきだから、バイクを乗ってる男前の男子も印象的だと思って、選んだ。
・チャコールデニムレギンス
うん、あまり面白くないけど、スタイリッシュだとおもい、なんか何でものトップスと着ることができると考えて選んだ。
・花バックルの薄いベルト
可愛いくて、あたしがある着るものの沢山とあわせる。
特にこのまえ買った花柄ワンピとぴったり。
なんかこれで、Black Swanをみてゆくーーー
または、好きだったストリートスナップについて更新しよう
ちょっとだけ
インスピレーションについての更新をちょっとずらして、あとでまとめる。
休日で、火曜か水曜か掲載するかもしれない。
だけど！わたしはストリートスタイルに興味がほんとに深いあるの。
毎週、日本のでも、欧米のでもストリートスナップのページを閲覧する。
だから、ちょっとだけこのブログの伝統にするだとして、毎週の日曜は一番気に入ったスナップを掲載しようと思う。
日本語を練習するとして、コメントも付けてみたい、ちょっとそんなアイデアを試してみたい。
で、今夜帰ってそのような更新してみたい。
あ、たのしみーーーｗｗ
ではーーー
休日で、火曜か水曜か掲載するかもしれない。
だけど！わたしはストリートスタイルに興味がほんとに深いあるの。
毎週、日本のでも、欧米のでもストリートスナップのページを閲覧する。
だから、ちょっとだけこのブログの伝統にするだとして、毎週の日曜は一番気に入ったスナップを掲載しようと思う。
日本語を練習するとして、コメントも付けてみたい、ちょっとそんなアイデアを試してみたい。
で、今夜帰ってそのような更新してみたい。
あ、たのしみーーーｗｗ
ではーーー