New phone finally about time hurrah that's is all ヽ(゜▽、゜)ノ
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I guess because I going threw a life change.
I don't want to throw my feeling's at so many~
As I sit here and think about how my changed over 4 to 5 years.
From being engaged from loosing so many friends.
From loosing my mind and having break downs.
To people fucking up my hard work my life of my life.
What do I have to show for anymore.
People think I am such a wonderful person to me.
I feel incomplete in my skin~
I haven't changed much I only get step closer to whom I am I really am every year.
Sad~
I have such a big caring heart you think
But I am the person to fuck you whole entire world up without lifting a finger. You would never guess I could give a fuck less about any one.
I can't trust many anymore or believe a single word of anyone.
I want some one to lay there eyes on me and say
"she is the one whom did it..."
She is the one who tried her damn best....
I don't feel that way anymore.
Ill be 24 in a couple weeks.
And what I am doing right now....
On ameba crying my eyes out and listening to bittersweet
Because at this moment I wouldn't suspect doing this.
I have hopes and dreams and want's And I want them... Why the fuck can't I have them
Why the fuck do I have this bittersweet spell of fate... He is sitting here laughing at this pointing there fingers
When Others have families to depend on...they have moral support.
I ain't got shit
I don't even have anyone but My self to learn from.
So excuse my total not giving a fuck at this moment and my quietness my not talking to so many.
I am trying to learn again
I am trying again
So you don't have to see this weakness of mine...
It Would of been easier If I stayed a mystery to many
People know as Ibbe, Rei, Mali, Reikai...
But truthfully there is only
Jin
I am heartless fucking cunt who she wants to be smaller, tattooed and doing what she really want's to making fashion ,modeling, and writing articles and promotion.
I only have 50% of that...
I can't believe my life at this point...
I have certain people that I have in my life I truthfully love and those I can count on my two hands....
everyone else go away
don't try to force me anymore with you supposed you give a fuck...
because at the end of the day do I even cross your mind.
Jin~~
Updates updates updates
I just know
getting a new phone
will take new photo's soon.
life is busy I know
Got to get a new dress for my sister engagement.
So photos soon later.
I been growing my hair out since November(｀×´).
I think of 2011.
I have a lot hair growth.
Since then I dyed my hair a brown in January/February.
After that I just condition and what not and wash my hair.
I think over this time I have bought 10 wigs.
I know your wondering why.
Because I am growing my hair out
to resemble this man.
I don't really care about my back of my hair as long as it hits a bit to my shoulders more of all it would be black anyway.(｀×´)
Yo from dopes has always been why I need silver hair.
So really I wont be silver till june of next year hopefully if everything goes right.
So In Dec. I will be be dying my hair a lighter color then this brown I have going on in it.
Next I weighed myself today~ and saw I am 148
and was like got damn
I really want to loose 25 pounds I would be good with that.
& pretty happy.
Tattoos is a must and I decided I want some fangs.
)｀ε´(
So much work but hopefully all this accomplished very soon.
Windy today but the outside is beautiful ~
Wonderful day to walk I believe so I enjoyed my day with 9goatsblack out~
Nothing interesting.~
Think ryo's voice is so soothing when you have tea.
My thought's have been wondering.
When It comes to music~
Japanese rock.
I see alot of western's only counting on the image now these day's.
What happen just the voice and the lyrics and the passion and the love they share for it.
I don't see that anymore.
Its pretty depressing to me.(￣_￣ i)
Also I will be traveling next year to japan for a week after my 25th hopefully.
It's my plan I miss the world I miss being me.
Hm`
I should start soon as I get a job My new line and fashion project I been thinking about working on.
Maybe I should start my blogspot for that. Soon.
Oh well many many many things.
later.(*´σｰ｀)