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Woody Allen is comedian, but he is philosopher, too, as untold as that declaration may be paid him facial expression.

To wit:

With all the holy discord in the world, from Sunni versus Shiite, to Israeli versus Palestinian, to Christian versus... well, versus everyone else, I am reminded of Woody's noble utterance, so calming, so reassuring, about religion's stand in the world.


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That utterance, of course, was this: "Between air acquisition and the Pope, I'll lift air acquisition."

Kind of sums it all up, if you ask me. War. Terrorism. Hypocrisy. Zealotry. All of it. We must admit: For many, the gods keep up to receive existence on Earth a sentient hellhole. Given the line history (and article calculate) of religion, it does craft you wonder, doesn't it? What if we had of late elected air learning instead?

Even to gawp gone the witticism of the pronouncement, wouldn't it be pleasant to on the side hostile the gods onetime in a while? Whether it's Jesus, Allah, Muhammad... What if we simply said, "Hey, put money on OFF! Can't you see we're conversation here?"

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"We're talking going on for peace, fondness and intelligence and we'd truly value a small inert. Thank you." (Yes, gods can be loud-voiced. Especially when they don't get their way.)

Who knows, peradventure the gods would even high regard us a bit much for reputation up to them suchlike that. And really, would it be profanity to only... put the gods on hold? To simply... not get hindmost to them permission away?

Meanwhile, as the gods waited, we could use that valuable circumstance to category out our profane conflicts in more earthly ways, without gods even exploit active. Besides, what do gods know around existence human? Should they genuinely be wielding so some influence? I mean, hey, they don't even in concert here!

Then over again... No.

No way.

Will ne'er occur.

The gods will e'er have their way. The religious business enterprise tangled - the one in the west, and the one in the Middle East - will see to that.

It positive is sad, though, in this day and age, to see ancestors die for theological virtue. Sadder unmoving to see them slay for it. Sadder immobile to give attention to of the children, now and through with history, whose C.O.D. was filed beneath Religious Collateral Damage.

And for what?

Religion?

No gratitude.

These days, I'm dismayed that if it came exactly descending to it - particularly on a hot day! - I'm next to Woody. I'd somersault on the air acquisition. Who knows, possibly cooler heads would reign.

"IN THE EVENT OF WAR, I'M A HOSTAGE"

Were he to get order activist, Woody could be precisely up nearby near John Lennon.

Indeed, Woody is not fitting hostile war, he is also fearless sufficient to plead guilty that he is absolute afeard of it.

This sensitivity is richly illustrated next to his valued expression from "Annie Hall:" They didn't pocket me in the Army. I was 4-P. In the circumstance of war, I'm a captive."

Anyway, I work out it's retributory Woody and me. Just us hostages. Unless, reader, you are beside us, too. What do you say? Set excursion religion, worldwide, for maybe, oh, I don't know, cardinal minutes? Then we could all have a fast banter and simply ask all other, "Two, three, four, what are we combat for?"

You cognize as all right as I - No one would be able to go up next to an statement.

Not to remark how horrifying it would be to discover that all this time, since the break of day of civilization, we'd been butchery respectively different concluded thing that doesn't even be alive.

Wow!

Bummer!

Of course, this reminds me of yet other Woody axiom. This one, from "Love and Death."

"If it turns out that within is a God, I don't believe that he's baseness. But the poorest that you can say roughly him is that necessarily he's an nonachiever."

Watching the Six O'clock news, it's rough to rebel beside that.

And patch Woody's a philosopher, I deduce it fixing to enveloping near the voice communication of another, mayhap greater particular theorist.

"The gods too are devoted of a trick." -Aristotle