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Philip has loved me with a fidelitythat ought to touch my heart. Why not accept him, and enjoy a newlife of luxury, novelty, and pleasure?
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All these things he can giveme: all these things are valued, admired, and sought for: and whowould appreciate them more than I? I could travel, cultivate myselfin many delightful ways, and do so much good.
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No matter if I was notvery happy: I should make Philip so, and have it in my power tocomfort many poor souls. That ought to satisfy me; for what isnobler than to live for others?"This idea attracted her, as it does all generous natures; she becameenamoured of self-sacrifice, and almost persuaded herself that itwas her duty to marry Mr. Fletcher, whether she loved him or not, inorder that she might dedicate her life to the service of poorer,sadder creatures than herself.
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But in spite of this amiable delusion, in spite of the desire toforget the love she would have in the love she might have, and inspite of the great improvement in her faithful Philip, Christiecould not blind herself to the fact that her head, rather than herheart, advised the match; she could not conquer a suspicion that,however much Mr. Fletcher might love his wife, he would be somethingof a tyrant, and she was very sure she never would make a goodslave.
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In her cooler moments she remembered that men are notpuppets, to be moved as a woman's will commands, and the uncertaintyof being able to carry out her charitable plans made her pause toconsider whether she would not be selling her liberty too cheaply,if in return she got only dependence and bondage along with fortuneand a home.