I went out with Thomas last evening.
We had a long chat in his truck... talking about why things didn't work out for us. When I asked him whether he was feeling more comfortable spending time with me as a friend, or he was only trying to get rid of me using the word "friends", he said he would never want to get rid of me, and wanted to be good friends with me for a long time.
I also asked him how he felt about me, and he said, "admiring".
Tears immediately ran down my face. Then I said, "I feel the same way about you too."
We then went on chatting about random things, like rock climbing, music, movies, my new tutoring job, etc. We then drove to San Jose and had dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant (the food was mind-blowing!). I feel much closer to him when we got rid of the "romantic relationship" burden and just be friends, even though I still feel so sorry we cannot hug or kiss each other anymore.
To be honest, the way he treats me now makes me much happier than the past three months, when we were both filled with worries and anxiety. I'm also happy to see him happier than before.
I guess I'll be open to new relationships whenever I'm ready. And I will meet new guys when I think it's a good time. But no matter what happens in the future, I will never want to lost my dear Thomas. No one will ever replace Thomas. We might be boyfriend and girlfriend again some time in the future, or that won't happen and we might just be friends. In any case, I'm happy that neither of us wants to lose each other.
And I always feel stronger whenever I feel connected to him. I don't want to figure out what exactly this emotion is... I only want to cherish the time we spend together here in the Bay Area.
I hope you'll keep finding time to hang out with me, Thomas.
We had a long chat in his truck... talking about why things didn't work out for us. When I asked him whether he was feeling more comfortable spending time with me as a friend, or he was only trying to get rid of me using the word "friends", he said he would never want to get rid of me, and wanted to be good friends with me for a long time.
I also asked him how he felt about me, and he said, "admiring".
Tears immediately ran down my face. Then I said, "I feel the same way about you too."
We then went on chatting about random things, like rock climbing, music, movies, my new tutoring job, etc. We then drove to San Jose and had dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant (the food was mind-blowing!). I feel much closer to him when we got rid of the "romantic relationship" burden and just be friends, even though I still feel so sorry we cannot hug or kiss each other anymore.
To be honest, the way he treats me now makes me much happier than the past three months, when we were both filled with worries and anxiety. I'm also happy to see him happier than before.
I guess I'll be open to new relationships whenever I'm ready. And I will meet new guys when I think it's a good time. But no matter what happens in the future, I will never want to lost my dear Thomas. No one will ever replace Thomas. We might be boyfriend and girlfriend again some time in the future, or that won't happen and we might just be friends. In any case, I'm happy that neither of us wants to lose each other.
And I always feel stronger whenever I feel connected to him. I don't want to figure out what exactly this emotion is... I only want to cherish the time we spend together here in the Bay Area.
I hope you'll keep finding time to hang out with me, Thomas.