do you still think of me when you make love?
you mean nothing to me now
does that even bother you?
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so i didnt take a nap. i took a long hot bath instead.
i feel much better.
i have nothing to do now. ugh im so pathetic.
i guess thats one of the reasons why i dont like being back in japan.
i know no one! i have no friends. i have no life.
when i was in the states, i always had someone to hang out w/.
there was always someone who wanted to hang out w/ me but not in here
i seriously think my phone forgot how to ring.
i miss my friends so much...
i mean japan is a great country. its my hometown of course i love it duh
but what i hate about japan is japanese people are so, excuse my language, fucking judgemental!
everything is about being the same.
no offence. i know its how the society works.
but in here if you do something that is not "normal", you are done.
in the states you are always given the second change.
even if you make the mistake, you can overcome that problem and start the new life.
but in japan, it will always be with you no matter how hard you try to change.
you are screwed for the rest of your life.
luckily i havent screwed anything up yet, but im not sure if i can be goody-goody forever.
alrite im gonna stop complaining and study. riiiiiiiiiigh. ha
ive been moaning and whinning since i came back to japan.
i just want everyone to know that the "self-centered dominator" has a lot to deal with
i know im not perfect and i dont live to be but i wanna make everything "right"
people see me and say im living the dream or my life is way too good to be true
they say i have everything i need and want.
theyve never seen things with my eyes.
they dont know what its like to be me. they have no idea.
i dont blame them for not understanding me though because im the one who doesnt open up to them.
i wish i had enough courage to open up to someone w/o any masks on.
okay as i was writing this, i lost my aim. i dont know where im gonna go w/ this so im just gonna shut up now.
i know what i need right now. a nap. i tend to whine when im sleepy.
so little nap time for miss "missunderstood"
chao