My stomach churns…
devilish green monsters eat at me.
They gnaw at my guts,
whispering evil secrets in my ears:
He has another…
Cheat! He cheats!
Moron…
Trusting moron…
I fight them-
ragged tooth to jagged nail,
but still they devour me…
driving my jealous insanity.
I search for clues,
things that are not there,
feeding my internal well of despair.
So… I will spend another night
locked within the phantoms of an imagined affair
Life eats it way into me,
as I become pregnant with terror.
Fanged hopes and clawed dreams…
attacking from the womb of broken promises,
sorrow leaks from weeping wounds,
while the cries of fetal futility mewl mournful tunes.
It is a world of burnt offering we are born into…
with edges crisped and souls cooked through,
and in our desperation of isolation we find solace,
peace in whispered soliloquies,
internal conversations we dub art, poetry.
When in reality it is but well worded emotional vomit.
The bile of our psyche…
voiced in black and white-
With scratching quills and red-tinged ink,
we etch our pain into the minds of those who read.
We do this in the hope and in the dream…
that we can lessen what rips us at the seams.
maggots ate my heart
it lay stagnant in my breast
breath frozen in a throat
choked by the anguish, ignored
body stiff from rigor mortise
never touched in love
hated mind rotted
gray matter in a broken skull
dead soul that never found a mate
and life idled inside
persistent and annoying
throbbing, pulsing, waiting
for you
tiny sparks turn into the inferno
consuming the old and worn out
new fire burns where maggots once thrived
and for you I am alive
like a drug injected straight into my veins
you clean out my decomposing decayed core
you scream promises of love
and shove them into my mouth that protests
trust, caring, love
all concepts and words I've heard before
empty without action behind them
and you showed me the trinity
the things I longed for
can you keep them all these vows you swore?
flow of our spirit
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