We often see people talking about pain, suffering and loneliness. We are so used to this that we don't actually realize the word's meaning. I was the same. I was full of pain... so sick of it. I don't even know why I care. It is because I love and care of people too much. Even though the world wouldn't believe me.. When I get to know a person and when we start a friendship I always care the most and I always love the most.. Whenever someone else is unfair to me, I don't say a thing because of the fear I would lose that person. But when I do a mistake I must apologize a hundred times.. I have never complained.. And these days... when I feel like this I try to realize what exactly hurts me the most. I have lost something. But when I try to realize what the "something" means I know that I have lost a huge ammount of NOTHINGNESS. Nothing but so important to me though.. The one I've lost doesn't even care of me, and I want to do the same. But I can't. Because I love people too much.
And even though almost everyone tries to make me not to feel this way... The thing that happened left a big ugly spot in my soul.. Because of this... I will never be the same. And probably, after a couple of years when I would probably forget and live my life normally, I will get to this blog by mistake. And I am curious what will I do then. Start to cry again?
The sweet memories a time I didn't wished to forget, now I long to forget them.... I have lost a big part of my optimism, a big part of my dreams, a big part of my life and a big part of me...
