No matter how...

I decided not to be worried about the things

which I cannot change no matter how much I am worried.

I decided to keep smiling

no matter how tough the moment is.

I decided to believe my own strength

no matter how difficult it seems to survive.

I noticed that whether or not the thing is good or bad for a person

cannot be judged from one point.

For example, imagine that you are looking for a job.

You have gone through the interviews but failed the most of them.

At the moment you hear that you failed the interview,

you might feel depressed.

But what if the company bankrupt the next year?

You might say "I was lucky."

What if, after failing several companies,

you encounter a person who could change your life.

Nothing is meaningless.

It is not necessary to evaluate whether or not the occasion is good for me,

or I am happy at that moment, only based on the sense of value of that moment.

Working Overtime...

I used to work overtime. Especially last year, I its length and frequency was highest after my marriage. Since the beginning of this year, I mean from when we got back to work after the new year vacation, I've been trying not to overwork, go back home early to prepare warm dinner for my husband. At the same timing, my husband started going to dentist, hospital for digestive organs, and the practice of football. In addition, since he is going to China next week for business trip, he is coming back later tha usual. It is no problem when I'm busy for dinner preparation or household things. But suddenly I notice I feel lonely. Then, I noticed that he must have felt similary last year. Although he didn't complain at all, he must have felt in the similar way. I will try not to overwork from now on, make home warm and relaxing when he comes back after working all day.

Envy

To my floor of the office, one American manager

is coming from the beginning of Jan. 2007.

He was hired and worked for the U.S. affiliate of my company,

but recently transferred to Japanese div., which is next to my div.

He is sitting at the block behind me.

It's only 1-2m from my seat,

but I do not have many opportunity to talk to him.

In his block, there is a lady recently hired, as a kind of secretary of him.

She is really a beginner about this job, but speaks English pretty well.

Since the American manager came,

I've heard her English every single day, and feel so envy....jealous, I should admit.

It is clear she speaks better than I, and has more chances to speak English than I.

Am I jealous of her for only these things?

This is a bit un-understandable by myself, but envy, anyway.

At the same time, it is very clear that jealousy does not produce anything positive.

it's also clear what I need to do now.

It's time converted this envy to something productive.

Keyword for Year 2007

Perseverance & Dialog

These words are the keywords for my year 2007.

Perseverance means "Konki duyosa", "patience strength"

I have just tried an internet fortune telling on Yahoo website.

It clearly pointed out that the key of my future is "Perseverance".

This is not surprising to me,

because I am totally bad at continuing something.

Recently, I have been thinking about it.

For several reasons, I want to change myself, or improve myself.

But it requires a lot of energy and perseverance.

I lacked perseverance, and I have been kind of defiant about it.

But it might be the time to face my weakness, and improve it.

Dialog.

I need dialog with myself, and my partner.

I have been avoiding discussions for unpleasant issues,

or avoiding insisting my opinion,

because I don't want tensions or strained atmosphere in the relationship.

However, by spending years in that way,

I noticed that I cannot say my true opinion or cannot have discussion with my partner.

I found that there is no relations of trust between us,

and our relation stops at very superficial level.

This is what I noticed at the end of year 2006.

So, I want to step out from this stage and proceed,

with focusing onto Perseverance & Dialog.

The last month of a year

About 20 days left till the end of this month, and this year.

At the beginning of this year,

I set several targets which I would like to accomplish,

but I remember only one of them.

Now, looking back a whole year,

I wonder what I myself have been doing for the past 11 months & 10 days.

ON

>Working hard with a lot of overwork

>Got involved in a project among Japan & European affiliates

-->Found myself slided into its major position,

due to my boss promoted to the higher position

　 and become not able to handle every single issue.

>>Finally I had a business trip to Portugal at the end of November.

>>Got to know a lot of people in Europe through this project

>Increased the frequency of the internal meeting & the business trip (domestic),

not only for the above project but alos other issues.

OFF

>Bought a new car,

>Went to shows of the favorite singers,

>Went to swiming pool 3 times by myself

>Started weight control and lost about 3 kg

...but rebounded during my business trip to Portugal.

>Re-started Blog (Japanese blog)

>Started this Blog (in English)

Not much.

I think I should do "something" by myself.

Of course it is very important to maintain

the daily life, job, and household things, "usual" things.

However, at the same time,

I feel I want to find "something I made", when looking back.

One of the way to find the thing might keep a record of everyday.

For the 20 days till the end of this year,

I would like to spend the time in more productive way,

find something, feel something, make something, etc.

It might worth trying to spend every moment with my best.

How are you going to close this year??