Today I went to look for some Durarara!! fanfics.

I really like the interactions between Shizuo and Izaya.

Because the anime didn't say much about them, so I wanted to read more about them.

Yesterday, I dreamt that Izaya got stabbed. I wanted to watch a scene like that. Well, I always like seeing my favorite characters get injured... but not dead. So yeah. I'm kinda sadistic like this.

Sadly, most of the fanfics were romance fanfics between Shizuo and Izaya. Sigh. I kinda expected it, but still clung on to that tiny hope.

Either romance fics. Or they were angst/tragedy fics that has suicidal/emo/angsty Izaya having psychological issues.

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I don't know how people deduce that Izaya is a fragile character. I don't really like seeing him all fragile in the fanfics. He's not supposed to be like this. And he probably hates that.


I want to see him injured or at least in some situation that he can't control like always, but not due to himself, but due to some other reasons that he cannot do anything about. Maybe I might see him more human-like and maybe on the verge of breaking due to those reasons, and that I like, but I don't like how he was already all angsty to begin with. Because I don't think he is. I just don't think he's that fragile.


Or maybe it's that I don't want to. When I read his description, I was kinda surprised how much I could relate to him. How similar I am to him. (Does that mean I'm creepy too? XD) That he's someone who likes to be in control, that he likes to know everything about everyone, but will not let anyone know anything about himself.

That's selfish. That's me.

I really like to analyze people. What kind of person they are, what makes them happy or mad. I like to observe people, see their emotions, see what they're thinking. But I won't let people see my emotions. I won't let them see what makes me happy or mad. I won't let others know what I think. That's pretty one-sided, huh. I just don't feel comfortable letting others know so much about me.

If someone comes too close in trying to find out who I am, then I will get really distant with that person. If he persists and tries constantly, I'll get really annoyed. And may even end up hating him.

I'm not a very good person, am I?

I guess, in a way, I like to be in control.


I wonder if Izaya is like this too...

Well, I need to go buy the light novels to find out more about him. I don't think the anime told that much.

It might be difficult though, to find out about Izaya, since he's the type who doesn't want people to find out about him. XD Like me. XD


Well, he's an interesting character.


Now. I really dislike Kida. I really like his face. And his hair. But I really dislike his personality. He really scares me. I don't understand him at all. He's not like Izaya. From the start we know Izaya is the kind of person who likes to be in control and is very mysterious and everything. But Kida, starts out as someone who's all friendly and happy and getting along with everyone. And then you realize you know nothing about him at all after so many episodes of watching him. Really, who is he? Then suddenly he becomes all scary and serious and that really scared me.

He is so not my type. XD I do not want to meet such a person in real life. So unpredictable. Too unpredictable. Such a sneaky character.


The other characters are okay... I really ship Shinra and Celty! They are now my really favorite couple!! They are sooooooo cute!!!! XDD


Time to watch more Durarara!! XDD I'm gonna buy the light novels tomorrow.