Would consider you were a

NOVEMBER 28th, 2006: WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Democratic Sen. John Kerry, considering a ordinal bid for the U.S. presidency, spent murdered final in a survey released on Monday on the Likeability of 20 top American policy-making information.

Tuesday morning, November 28th. 9:15 a.m. Russell Senate Office Building. Transcript of a jamboree involving Senator John Kerry and his principal of staff, Dave.

Kerry: Any unpredictability they integrated me up with Bob?

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Dave: No, sir. We restrained next to the group at Quinnipiac.

Kerry: Well at least I came out ahead of Pelosi. Everybody knows
that female person chuck her infantile.

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Dave: Pelosi came in 12th. Again, you were exanimate end in the Quinnipiac likeability research of top politicians and forthcoming chief of state candidates and we'd be better off figuring out what we're active to do nearly repairing your image than rehashing each person other on the index who came in leading of you.

Kerry: You're right, you're precise. It's lonesome a incongruous general population thought ballot at any rate. The maximum chief state of affairs - delay. What just about Hillary? You're not going to let somebody know me...

Dave: Ninth.

Kerry: Son of a! Let me see that listing once more.

Dave: I'm not viewing it to you. Can we delight swing on? I've got respective internal representation makeover design that I'd similar to to run by you in the past we bequest them to the overladen force.

Kerry: Is likeability even a word? I've been look "Wheel of Fortune" for years and I never saw likeability sometime. Where's the dictionary?

Dave: First book. We get your married woman Teresa to be on that "Wife Swap" display on ABC.

Kerry: Your jesting. She's a madman.

Dave: Exactly. Once America has an possibility to sees your spouse running a household, both man, woman, small fry - inferno -every pet in this land would consider you were a saint.

Kerry: Or an cretin for golf shot up with her for all these time of life.

Dave: Let's try and rest favourable. After her shape on grating tube and the implication of what your sett duration essential be like, you might even manor different Purple Heart.

Kerry: I don't cognize. I stationary ponder we're ended reacting to this full market research item. I parsimonious really, let's keep hold of things in perspective. Bush didn't even clear the list!

Dave: Fifteenth. He came in at amount fifteen.

Kerry: We're conversation 41, right?

Dave: Forty-three.

Kerrey:(audible suspiration) What else do you have?

Dave: Second book. We send for Dr. Roux

Kerry: Who's he?

Dave: The physician that fictitious that internal organ circumferential surgery to help out obese group break off intake.

Kerry: I'm not sighted the association present.

Dave: We get him to sew your oral fissure shut for the side by side year or so until we have adequate event to lettering and do all lonesome name you thoroughgoing in municipal commencing the instant after the stitches are abstracted until the day after the election in '08.

Kerry: I'm not even going to ennoble that beside a retort.

Dave: If you guess you can support that up for a yr - you wouldn't want the surgery.

Kerry: I've got to be in the Senate in ten report. Anything else?

Dave: Final script. I've earlier articulated to their agents who have a sneaking suspicion that this is a tremendous thought by the way, and I can scrap book you with Mel Gibson and Michael Richards on their "mea culpa" university tour that kicks off close Saturday at UCLA. Rush Limbaugh's starting for them on the easterly shoreline dates to purging the Michael J. Fox fucked-up from his demographic and they've got Russell Crowe and Naomi Campbell doing what I hear is a unbelievably moving nursery rhyme and tap ire guidance article for the westside coast dates. Twyla Tharp did the choreography and she's strange. That Billy Joel appearance ran ad infinitum.

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Kerry: Not a casual. First of all, my Iraq witticism was goose egg compared to what Gibson and Richards aforementioned. I didn't indicate to berate anybody, it freshly came out wrong! I blew the punchline for God sake! Is that the apology America hates me, because I'm a bad prank teller? Why aren't they going after Conan O'Brien?

Dave: Variety is simply line "mea culpa" this year's Lalapalooza for the ft in oral cavity set.

Kerry: Gingrich?

Dave: Seventeenth.

Kerry: Find out if Dr. Roux takes Blue Cross.