My back condition

It's really cold today!!

I wrap myself in this blanket and sip some royal milk tea.... Ah, I feel heaven...

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I took a half-day off and went to the doctor. The X ray of my back was taken and my condition was told by the doctor.

I said the connection of my two bones was curved bit too much. This result was told 7 years ago. This time, the result was different.

My back bone consists of 5 pieces and the disk between 4th one and 5th one has been worn out more than usual. It means there is not enough cushion to absorb impacts into these bones. Also, my back bone needs more curve, he said. When you see my back bone from my side, it looks straight, but it is supposed to be curved more. He said my back muscle is stronger than front one, also now I feel pain, so my back muscle stiffens and pulls my back bone towards my back.

This worn out disk wont get back to normal thickness once it gets damaged. So what I have to do is to avoid too much impact to my back and try to spread it to my other body parts. For instance, when you get up from a chair, put your hands on a desk to support and spread your weight to your hands and arms. Or when you pick something up on a floor, dont bend over. You should kneel on one knee and pick it up.

Another thing I have to do is to develop my abdominal muscles to pull my back bone towards front for balance. I will start sit-ups when this pain is gone!! ( YEAH, I NEED SIX-PACKS ON MY BELLY!)

The older you get, the more your disk is worn out. It's natural, but my disk is probably in a hurry for some reason! (LOL) I'm still 24 years old! So I need to slow it down.

Fortunately, there was no sign of herniated disk. Also, my back bone is straight and my hip bone is located in even height when you see these from the front. So chiropractic is not neccessary for my bones.

I have to live with this risk forever. People might think I'm unlucky to have this pain, but try to think like this.

"I'm lucky because my pain is only this much. This wouldnt take my life away. "

Be optimistic and see your life from a different angle. You will find a hope there.

It's impossible to happen again, but...

My back cracked.....AGAIN!!

It is unbelievable that this happended again within a year. Some know about my backpain already, but I'll tell you.

The connection between my back bone and hip bone is bit different from normal one. Normal one is also curved but mine is curved bit too much. So, when I am so tired, or some kind of pressure is put on there ( like keeping bad posture while sitting on a chair or bending over and lifting something really heavy) it cracks and I cant get up.....

It usually doesnt happen more than once a year, but this is the 3rd times this year.

It happened this morning. I dressed myself to go out, then tried to shut a drawer, the lowest one. I bent over and shut it. "Oops....." This is what I thought right after that. I heard a sound of my back cracking. But I could stay standing and it didnt seem really bad one, so I left home anyway and got on a bus.

When I got off the bus, my instinct warned me that this is going to really bad. The bus stop is located on the west side of the station. I was going to the east side. The longer I walked, the worse my backpain became.

Right after I was done with what I went there for, I went back to the west side and took a bus to go home. When I got off, Oh my god...... I could barely walk. Fortunately, the bus stop is really close to my apartment, so I made it.

When this happens, I usually cant get up for 2 days, but it isnt that bad this time. You see it. Now I'm sitting on a chair and writing this blog, but cant do it long. I need to lay down.

I dont know what is wrong with my back this year. My mom is really worried about me because I'm going to the States, not only this Dec., but also I'm going there to live. She said she wont be available to help me when we are away that far from each other ( well, of course not..)

Dont worry mom. I'll manage it somehow.

Isnt it almost fraud?!

I mean.... a flight ticket.

As I said before, my friend booked my flight on my behalf, but I was still on a waiting list. He emailed me yesterday and said my flight is now confirmed!! Hooooooooooray!

Then I called the travel agency. When my friend told me the price, it was 58000yen. I knew gas price and taxes would be added on it, but gas price has gone up higher without my permission!!?There was no gas price before. Then it went up to 5000yen. Then it went up to 10000yen within a couple of months and now it is 11000 yen!!!!! So the actual flight cost is about 80000yen for round trip between LA and Tokyo. Ouch.....

I know it's still good deal, but it is really expensive for this poor girl.... HELP ME !!!!

A day off

I took a day off from work today because I had to go to a passport center. Otherwise, it would be expired in 2 weeks. The center is in Ikebukuro, so I was going to a skin clinic I usually go beforehand. When I got there, I realized it was closed on Thursdays..... orz Shoot....

Anyway, I went to the passport center and submitted papers. Guess what. You need to pay 15,000yen to update it!! Aaaaaahhhhhhh!! EXPENSIVE!!!! Ouch....

After I had lunch, I called my BF as I promised yesterday. He answered and said he was at his office. He once went back home, but noticed that he left something, so came back to work to pick it up. We talked a bit, and he said he would call me back when he gets home. Then he , as always, said he loves me, so I said

"Can you prove that?"

He laughed and told his co-worker that he was just asked to prove his love. She said something to him, but I couldnt quite hear it. I dont care what she said, though because I met his co-workers before and they are all nice people.

Even though it was my day off, I volunteered myself to go to Yokohama on business. We needed to submit some papers to the police in Yokohama for next event. When I was in Yokohama, he called in.

He started to talk about my blog.

Yes, this blog.... !!

He hadnt read this for long time, but when I told him that my friend booked my flight on my behalf, I wanted him to know about it. So I told him to read my blog. Then, he read all stories I had written since the last time he had read. Because it was obvious that he didnt check this often, I started to write about him a lot. Now that he read all, I was kinda worried that he might not like it. But he said he wouldnt mind me writing about him. He even said it's actually good to know what I do and think here in Japan. Thanks, honey.

After my visit to the police station, I went to Ueno to see my friend. I met her in Canada. When we were in Canada, we werent really close frineds, but we have been very good friends since we came back to Japan. I dont know what made that difference though. She quit her job in the end of Sep. and now lives with her boyfriend in Chiba. She said she is really bored, so looking for a new job. She said it's really good to see someone whose life is so lively. It encourages her to make an action to change her boring life into a lively one.

Well, is that ME? My life is so lively?

Hummmmmmm, maybe. It's good to hear it, though. Someone complimented on my life.

一緒にいたいなぁ

また日本語です！

この前、昼の12時きっかりに彼氏からメールがあって「まだお昼じゃないの？」って。普段私がお昼の時間に電話をするので、その時間に話せるんじゃないかって思ったのはわかったんだけど、いつも私が電話するのに、珍しいなと思った。

絶対なんかある・・・

そう思ってすぐ会社を出て、お昼をかきこんで、彼に電話した。

最初は普通の会話だったんだけど、2分もしないうちに

彼のストレスが爆発！

どうやら仕事でいろいろ大変みたいで、話をしたかったらしい。せきを切ったように話し始めました。

実は私、彼と一回別れたことがあります。私から別れを切り出しました。理由は「遠距離に耐えられなかったから」。今年のゴールデンウィークの直後でした。その後、お友達として普通に遠距離友達をしてたんだけど、私の仕事が超超超超忙しくなり、毎日日付が変わらないと会社を出られず、深夜タクシーで帰る生活をしていました。そんな時、私の話を聞いて、理解をしてくれて、「どんなことがあっても僕は○○の傍にいるよ。つらかったらこっちが夜中でもかまわないから電話をしておいで」と支え続けてくれた彼。「やっぱりこの人が好きだ・・・」と思い、また付き合うようになりました。

そんな彼が今度は逆にストレス爆発！になっている・・・。これは支えてあげねば！と思い、「ふんふん」と話を聞きました。まだまだ未熟だけど、私のほうがちょっぴり社会人経験が長いので（ちなみに彼は同い年）、「今あなたの状況はこうでこうでこうでしょ？だったらこうしてああしてみたら？」とちょびっとだけアドバイス。爆発しちゃってるときって、ただただ文句を言いたくなっちゃって、冷静に何が原因で、どうしたら改善できるのかがわからなくなっちゃいがちですよね？（いや、私がそうなんで・・・）だからちょっぴり冷静な目で意見を言ってみました。

彼は「そうだね、ｔｒｙしてみるよ！」といってちょっとすっきりしたようでした。

今日もお昼が終わるころにメールがあった。普段私は彼と話すためにお昼は一人で行くんだけど、たまたま他の人とランチに行ったので電話しませんでした。フォーンカードも5分しかなかったし・・・。でもまた話したいんだろうなと思い、ちょっとだけ仕事を抜けて電話をして、彼にかけなおしてもらいました。

彼は私が言ったことを実践して、上司と話をしたそうです。まだ元通りになったわけじゃないけど、少し良くなったよ、と言っていました。よかったぁ！！！遠距離でも微力でも彼の役に立ててよかったです。

そんなわけで今、彼はちょっと甘えたいモードらしく、頻繁にメールだの電話だのをしてきます。私はもともと寝るのが遅いので1時過ぎに寝ますが、そのころちょうど仕事を始める彼は私にメールをしてきて、なかなか寝かせてくれません！ねむい・・・。でもその程度のことで彼ががんばれるなら、寝不足にちょっと耐えてみようかな、と思う今日この頃です。

相手が傍にいてほしいときに傍にいてあげたいなぁ・・・自分が相手に傍にいてほしいときに傍にいてほしいなぁ・・・としみじみ思います。遠距離って大変だけど、相手の存在の大きさに気づかされます。

なんだかしんみりした記事になっちゃった！そういうつもりじゃなかったんだけどなぁ（笑）

Thank you my dear friend! You are the best!!!!!!

Oh, my god!! You are my best friend ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I know you are thinking like... " What a heck are you talking about?! " but he deserves bunch of compliments and thanks from me. He saved my life.

The story is.....

Me and my BF had been discussing about which one of us will fly to the other's country on Christmas vacation. He said he would be able to take time off on 22 and 23 on Dec., so he could buy a fairly inexpensive ticket. He was going to come at first. BUT now he is really really busy at work and said he might not be able to fly to Japan on 22, which means a flight ticket goes skyhigh.

Then I tried to find a flight on 22 to the States, but all discount tickes was sold out..... OH NO !(>_<)!

So I asked my friend for a ticket, who works at a publishing company of travel industry. He said he knows a lot of wholesale stores of flight tickets, so he can get tickes at bottom price. ( Have you known that? Travel agencies buy tickets from wholesale stores, not directly from airline companies!) Within a few hours, he texted me and said " SQ is available at such price. You want it? " OH YES! SQ is my most favourite airline! and it was cheap, too! Actually my outward flight is still on a waiting list, but the shop staff of the wholesale store told him he is pretty sure I can make it. I'll know it for sure on 22, this month. I owe him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!

I love you, my friend!

It's all set

I got an email from my agency. It said I passed the interview with the counselor, so now they have started my job-placement in the States. I have to pay for it by Fri. though.... It's not cheap...

Now what I have to pay for is half-price of resume-writing support fee, placement fee and phone bill. It's about ￥150.000!!!! God...

Ultimate in rain

We played Ultimate in rain today..... It was so cold! We knew it was going to rain from late afternoon.

I got to the station about 2:30ish. When I got out of the station, it started raining..... I thought I should just turn around and head back home, but it took an hour to get there from my station. "Did I come here to do nothing?! No way. I should at least go to the field and say hello to the guys... "

When I got there, rain got heavier. I was just standing there and thinking I should change to play or just watch games. I decided to play a bit. Then, in the end, I got soaked.... I mean everybody there got soaked.

We wrapped up around 5 and went to a doughnut shop. Usually we go to a restaurant to have dinner, but it was kind of early for that. But the shop was small and there were no tables available for 10 people. There was no options except for sitting at tables outside.... I thought it was stupid. It was f**king freezing outside. I dont know who made that bad decision...

We stayed there for a while and decided to go home, but I felt like eating out. Some of guys said they were going to Shibuya to have dinner at Sushi place, so I joined them. Our party consisted of one Canadian, another Canadian who came to Japan from Sydney 2 days ago, one American who came to Japan 4 weeks ago and me.

That Sushi place( merry-go-round style) was interesting and very cheap. You can stay there only 30 min. and you have to eat at least 7 dishes. Because a lot of people come there, they dont want you to stay long. It's not efficient for their business. When we finished 7 dishes each, it was about time to leave. After that, two of the guys, who are new here, went to explore Shibuya bit more and me and the other Canadian guy went home. I actually had a good time with them.

This Canadian guy has a Japanese girlfriend from Ultimate, so we talked about her on our way home. She has a reputation ( kind of bad one) that she is a foreigner-hunter. It means she dates with only foreigners. He knows it and said he is the sixth foreign boyfriend for her. I think he kind of doesnt like it. I used to think it's kind of racism against Japanese if you say you like only foreigners. But my friend said it's just preference. If you say you like a tall guy, it's your preference, right? If you say you like someone who has really built-up body, it's your preference. So why cant you say you like foreigners? It's your preference. That's it, right? I said that to him, but he didnt seem convinced though. Well, I think it's Ok as far as you guys like each other. Just be happy!

Today's Dinner

I just wanna post these pictures!

My dinner tonight. " Gratin with shrimp and vegetables"

And I baked these for breakfast tomorrow. " Cupcakes with potato and sweet corn"

I made a mistake while I was making the cupcakes. I forgot to put baking powder!! I added it later and mixed it, though... Probably that's why these are smaller than I expected....

My ordinary weekend

My contact lenses were out of stock, so I went to Shinjuku, but I came home with bags of loot! Actually not that large amounts, but I shoudnt have spent that much today.....

I texted my BF at noon to call me because there was not much time left on my phone card but he didnt call me till 2 o'clock, when I was about to get on a subway. I told him to call me back in 20 min. He said OK but I instantly knew he didnt want to because he was going to bed soon. I said it's OK if he wanna sleep, then we can talk tomorrow. He called me back but I was still on a train ( not subway this time) and told him to call me back again in 6 min. He, again, said he didnt know he would or not, but he called me back once again after I got to Shinjuku. Thank you honey!

His phone company's email system has a problem recently. When I email him, it takes 20 min. to get through now but it didnt take that long before. Today, he told me it took 2 hours and it was sent to him 5 times in a row! ( I sent only once.) Strange....

Anyway, after I bought contact lenses, I went to a cafe to fill my empty stomach. See the picture below.

This is a nuts cake and cafe latte at Espresso Bar MILANO in Shinjuku MYLORD. Not excellent but satisfying.

I saw a lot of couples in Shinjuku, which is a foreign guy and a Japanese woman. Seeing them walking happily together reminded me of my BF so much. It always does.

I always wonder how much they are in love with each other whenever I see this kind of couple. I wonder why I cant be with my BF even though I love him so much.

Until I moved in Tokyo, I lived in Kanagawa pref. and had a part-time job at an Italian restaurant in Yokosuka, where American Naval Base is located. I saw so many couples there, like I-just-wanna-fuck-Japanese-bitch kind of American guy with I-dont-care-if-you-think-so-coz-dating-with-American-guy-is-like-having-brand-name-bag kind of Japanese woman (I'm sorry if you are upset with this...)

They cant communicate well because she doesnt speak English or vise varsa. I think if there is no communication to understand each other, there cant be love between them.

This restaurant is really popular among Americans on the Base, so a lot of these couples came there while I was working. I usually didnt talk to them in English because, in my opinion, they should speak Japanese here in Japan!!!!!! Anyway, so the girls had to translate what I said into English and vise varsa, but sometimes the girls couldnt do it well. Then, I got tired of it and started to speak English directly to the guys. After that, usually the guys talked to me very pleasantly and the girls kept thier mouths closed around me.

Well, my point is....They can be together even though they dont love each other, but we ( me and my BF) cant be together even though we love each other so much. Isnt this unfair?

OK, I should stop complaining! Sorry to say such things above but sometimes I need to release my stress!

Today, I went to a cosmetics shop in Odakyu and I was suprised because they sell " Urban Decay", " Too Faced", " Bloom" and so on. I thought these were on sale only abroad. I bought an eye liner because the package is cute!

The right is "Glow Enhancer" from BODY SHOP. I was a GO-GO-SHOPPING-GIRL today...