This year is coming to the end. I guess it's my last entry in 2013.
2013 was quite tiring year. Another year of drastic changes. If only I knew...
In the beginning I was filled with hope and expectation of something great. But nothing happened. Well, nothing great happened.
Unfortunately, almost all the year I suffered the illness deep inside. I had to hide all my feelings, all my thoughts. And show only nice colorful wrapper of my personality.
People who had been surrounding me before were used to that cute wrapper, huh.
There was nobody to rely on, actually. Pain deep inside, infinite lie... not things I appreciate.
Malaise and disappointment caused something like depression. I had been thinking that there was the end of everything I'd created. I was unable to make something up. It was hard even to get by.
Fortunately, one person noticed me. Or I noticed her? I can't remember it clearly. I guess I noticed her first: I had known her for about two years when I offered her to join me in my ceaseless search for the inspiration. And she accepted my offer.
It was unusual. Nobody had admitted my ideas that easily.
Cosplay at first. Music then.
I couldn't even imagine that I would find myself in music. I still don't think that I'm good enough to be a person of art.
I have tons of things to express. But all of these things are trivial, and I'm not eloquent enough to express all of them. I'm not eloquent enough even to write this entry properly.
However, I'm trying to improve my skills of playing.
PreSkyView... I like the name and the idea.
But I feel like I'm odd here. I don't want to spend all of my time playing the piano, staying separately from others on the stage...
Stage. I'm too ugly for performing on the stage.
I'm not eloquent enough. Lots of thoughts, lots of feelings, not enough words to express everything.
Now I have a reference point which I want to reach. Well, not want. It's my sincere desire.
I'll face weeks, maybe, months, years of painstaking work to reach this point. But I will reach it.
And I want to say "thank you" to all the people, who stayed with me this year. I know, I am extremely annoying, but all your cheering words are the best incentive to go ahead.
Thank you so much.
Finally, I'm on my way out.